She makes me feel out of body
Somewhere else but somewhere lovely
So many times I wish I stayed
But everytime I walk away
Don’t know why I act these ways
Just another ruined day
But every time I look and see
Somebody else is taunting me
It’s not me my intentions are pure
But it’s my ego and I can’t ignore
Everything I’ve been raised to be
Has brought me to this mistake
Selfish, controlling, psychotic
I just don’t know if I can’t handle it myself
I need someone here to help me out
But everyone’s been pushed away
Day is gloomy, dark, not gay
Just do not know what to say

my heart is so tired
I'm losing my voice
and bleeding out

kindness is a target for evil
disheartening doesn't begin to define this ache in my chest
maybe this is how it felt when they drove the nails into Jesus's hands

the only things that keep me breathing
are full of toxins
unfortunately, there are no warning signs of toxins that provide the fix I seek.

my manifesto is to mean what I say
do what I promise
more importantly it is to love.
I've learned that love is the ultimate sacrifice.

this world needs those of us who feel deeply and communicate effectively.  
a "friend" doesn't cut ties over something petty
a lover doesn't leave you because something is alleged to be true.

as a feeler, this will make sense to you.
if you are not comprehending this or not feeling a tug in your chest, go home, lay down and think about times in your life when you felt overlooked. really go back to that moment and feel it.

when you feel it, now know that other person is feeling that because of your actions.

love & art 1991,

henk holveck

Silence
Blackness
Speechless
We all die alone
Some people will be used to it
No one to turn to for comfort
Just means less time crying about losing someone
Better that no one knows you to soare them heartache
I prefer it this way
At least I'll be the only one present
The only person who ever gave a ****
Don't let them fool you
They only care about themselves

Don’t get blinded by my cheerful facade!
For I am an altruistic soul,
Walking around spreading love and happiness.
But some call me a: stingy little ******,
For I am not willing to share my sorrow and times of torment with anyone.
Why aren’t people seeing the bright side of my selfish attitude?

Before I die please tell me how you do all this ,
How are you carrying me? how you kept a stupid me sharing extreme bliss,
How you do all of this ; being polite and kissing with your prayers,
Knowing that may be it won't give you what you deserve and end up devastated with a sharp spear ,
That spear dipped in poison of pain,
And sorrow along with only threatening thunder but no soothening rain,
The rain which relieves the painful emotions,
Which are highly toxic and in extreme end up with potions ,
It's not just a big heart which take all hurt inside ,
And just pushing endless Love outside,
Even if I annoy you; tease you or push you off the ease and stab you from inside ,
You don't manage you just put them aside ,
Put it in the trash can and wrap me with care and made yourself so polite ,
Is it really possible to do without no reason at all,
Or there is something like a big treasure at the end of this fall?
I mean really is there any big worth behind all of this?
Or just it's only you and only just board me up in your boat; oh no not a boat it's a ship ,
Ship carrying every thing which can make things more than ease,
Counting from a little help upto a endless number of beautiful moments with ,
Are you a human? do you really exist?
I have numerous of questions for you; will you stay in contact forever ?
And if you don't I don't have a problem but I wish for you God must give you happiness in a big basket everyday and a person to love you every second.

I was writing a song for the flowers
withering on top of the computer table
but like all things in nature,
the petals changed
into something grey and pure.
They die beautifully,
unlike us.
When we wither,
we do not fold into ourselves;
we do not look up to the sky,
but only avoid the light,
fold within our comforts
to hide and embrace the dark.
And so when love withers,
we let it die.
We are just human
after all.