Jay Jan 11
Today I wondered
Why am I still fighting?
I know that
I have things to fight for
But they are so far off
In that uncertain future
So I need
Daily reminders
To why I’m still fighting
And that’s okay
So here, let me remind you
Of why I am still fighting
I am fighting
For road trips and mountains
Beaches and bonfires and
Loud music played
In fast cars
I am also fighting
For loud music
Through my headphones
And the smell of cold
Winter nights
At 1:00 A.M.
I am fighting
For text messages and
Small smiles and
Helping someone with
Their day
I am fighting for
Cups of tea in the freezing cold
And long walks in
Freezing rain
For smelling a bit like
A campfire
I am fighting for
Seeing my friends in
The morning and
Texting them after school
I am fighting
For big things
And little things
But the good thing is
I’m fighting
  Dec 2017 Jay
ThePoet
Bleed and bleed
until there's
no more blood
Weep and weep
until there's
no more tears
Fall and fall
until you
can't stand up
Scream and scream
until there's
no more fears

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
  Dec 2017 Jay
ThePoet
We're the shield
in all of their wars,
while we stand on
our battlefield alone

We spend so much
time saving other
lives, we forget
to save our own

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
  Dec 2017 Jay
ThePoet
Just because
I bear
the pain,
it doesn’t
mean it’s
bearable.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Jay Dec 2017
Damaged people love you like a crime scene
Before any crime had been committed
They kept their running shoes right next to their souls every night
One eye opened in case something changed whilst they were asleep

Damaged people love in the most broken way
Damaged people love in the most gentle way
Damaged people do not love
Damaged people love too much

Their backs are always too tense, too tight
Made this way from carrying too many broken things
Because we all know broken things are the heaviest
Just look the weight of a broken heart

Damaged people will love that too
Damaged people love broken things
Because they remind them of themselves

Damaged people take broken things
And love them to the end
Trying to find that one broken thing
That will fit their cracks.

Damaged people love so well

They love like this because they have already seen Hell
And they know that every evil demon
Was once an angel before they fell.
Jay Dec 2017
I am alone
I am alone to the
Deepest parts of myself
Down to the very bone

I am alone
My mold must've been
Cast in solitude
And covered in heartbreak

I am alone
It is more than
Not having a friend
Standing next to me

I am alone
It goes to the point
Of standing in a room
Full of best friends
And still
Having not a single one
Brush my soul

I am alone
I have no one
To say that I have
No one I would ever want
To sentence to being my friend
For that is a curse
None should have to bear

I am alone
I think that my heart
Must be burning cold
That no one can really touch it
So I am isolated

I am alone
And I am numb
Empty and afraid
Because I am alone

I am alone
I battle myself
By myself
For it's easier not to worry
About the collateral
When it's only me

I am alone
And I will stay that way
For the good of others
Over the good of myself

I am alone
It hurts me this way
But it's better this way
So I'm the only one
Who ends up damaged
Jay Dec 2017
A lot of things
In life
Can slip

They slip so easily
It's scary
How precious things
Just leave your
Very fingertips

Like you
You slipped
Right out of
My once fairy tale life
One moment
I was holding your hand
And happiness was clasped
Between our palms
Then the next
I was holding nothing but
Air and sadness
Because of the way
Your hand just
Slipped
Right out of mine
And how you slipped
Right out of my life

Like that metal
It slipped right down
My once whole skin
Straight, even lines
One second
Everything was
Whole, well and good
Then the next
Everything was
Chaos, dark red and hurt
All because of that
One little piece
Of shiny-bright metal
That slipped down my skin
And with it
My hope slipped away too

Like my smile
One day
Everything was full of
Friendly parted lips
And perfect teeth
Then I woke
In tomorrow
And all that my world
Was full of
Was closed lips
And shuttered eyes
All because
That smile just
Slipped
So easily
Right off my lips

Like my very life
I must've been
Carrying it not quite
Carefully enough
Whilst I was walking
Down a rainy road
I must've
Slipped
On some slick patch
Of sorrow
And it just
Slipped
Right out of my
Innocent arms

I couldn't do anything
But sit there
And watch
As my life that
Slipped
Shattered
Into a million
Tiny, broken fragments

But it's okay
Someone came along
And they simply
Slipped
Their warm hand
Into mine
And they looked at me
For only a moment,
But then they saw
The broken skin
Tears
Slipped
Out of their brown eyes
I asked why they cried
For a girl they
Had never spoken to
Then they told me
They knew the pain
Of that particular slip
They knew that
My smile had
Slipped
Away from me
And so we went on an adventure
To find where our smiles
Had stolen off to

With them
I never worried
About my broken life
That had
Slipped
Fallen
And shattered
Because while we were
Off questing for our smiles
Joy
Slipped in between
Our woven fingers
And metal stopped
Slipping
Down our wrists
And hope filled in
The places where the metal
Once was
Then our lost smiles
Slowly began
Slipping
Back onto our faces
And better lives
Made of stardust and steel
Instead of glass and cobwebs
Slipped
Into our arms

Sometimes we feel
Like we're on the verge
Of slipping
And having everything shatter
But each time
We catch each other
And since that day
We've never slipped forever
Maybe we have tripped
But never completely
Lost ourselves in a slip
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