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Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Exhausted from rapid obsessing
All I feel is aggressive doubt
To darkest hidden corners
My mind, heart, it flows throughout.

Deepest wounds make a home
Between buried thoughts in brain
Bleeding steady streams of uncertainty
I show nobody my pain.

Stomach knotted tight with effort
I wait for someone to notice
Difference in how I speak
I am in the background, something's amiss.

I am shouting "help!" with a silent mouth
In this world colors do not belong
Wondering why I overthink each  action
And why feelings persistently steer me wrong.

Get attatched very easily
To  the coldest, wicked, damaging touch
Let guys I fell for destroy soft parts
Denied truth because I loved so much

Pretty sure there is something wrong with me
A mutation somewhere in DNA
It's like no matter how great life is going
Somehow everything still appears grey.

Transparent, see right through my skin
Walking through crowds alone
Dreaming of better days
Harboring thoughts I own.

Long to travel far from here
Can't sleep with all this stress
My mind my biggest enemy
Memory I can't evict or put to rest.

Mistakes coursing through blood
Screaming to get on the right track
Frightened I am not capable of succeeding
Failures precariously balanced in a stack.

Images as clear as the instant they occurred
Until eyes distort edges, greatly exaggerate
Have to write to distract accelerating thoughts
Words and stanzas my reliable escape.

Always there whenever, wherever I am at
My brain a dangerous nest
Sometimes the ideas I overanalyze
Become tangled and knotted then manifest.

Wishing to be a better person
My value I cannot comprehend
Instead focus solely on flaws
Insecurity never seems to end.
I'm insecure, but what do I have to be secure about?
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Her bones are breaking
Under the weight of heavy
Insecurities
They weigh a ton
skyler Jul 2018
i was told
to make my body
my home
so i painted
embarrassment
on the walls
and hung
hate
from the ceilings
i am uncomfortable
in this home
and the image i see
saddens me
because this home
is messy
and the other girls
are pristine

s.s
Allison M Jul 2018
Unrealistic expectations cascade down upon us;

Never ending turbulence of decisions needing to be made throws us off course;

Mistakes protrude from the murky water,

Threatening to smash our hopes and dreams;

Until we finally reach the blissful bay of calm,

We realize our river journey was worth the fight,

And we are not alone.
lizzie Jul 2018
I was bare;
Showing you the battlefields left
Of wars fought on my skin.
A scared innocent body,
Riddled with sacrilege.
I revealed to you my scars both visible and invisible
And you mapped each of them with your fingertips.

Your eyes locked with mine.
Inside the beautiful windows to your mind,
I saw you
Churning
With curiosity;
With wonder;
And your gentle gaze held me steadily
With the absence of lust.
And I knew I made the right choice.
Kelsey Jul 2018
Mornings.

I go to the freezer and pick out a waffle

Why are waffles the way they are?

They have craters
They break
And they flake

So I yell

"Why cant you be like the pancake?!"
So full
So soft

"Isnt that what breakfast food is supposed to be?!"

I sit back down

And finish my waffle.
Your scars and uniqueness make you who you are. You dont have to be a pancake to be a great breakfast food!
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
One day will be at peace with myself
Wounds on my heart will completely heal
Fingers and hands will no longer miss yours
I will finally conquer the sadness I feel

I won't feel split open and apart anymore
As though emotions are exposed and on fire
I am unable to put the embers out
Warmth in this dungeon of desire

Soon enough I'll set all seductions free
Stop throwing chances carelessly away
I am letting go of baggage one final time
Finished, flaws far too heavy to weigh

Always felt I was born frailer than most
I didn't feel accomplished or strong
Not receiving earned recognition
Standing my constant state of wrong

Say good words about others
But give insults to my ears
I feel lonely, I must be unwanted
Doubt the root of my greatest fears

Help me understand my worth
Love ugly parts at my core
It hurts, it festers, shame an ever-present ****
Please stop it, my whole body becoming sore

**** concern before it burrows beneath
Destroy it or else it wjll dig too deep
Harness inner power and will
Halt insecurities, then they'll never seep

Say I'm doing okay when asked
In the mirror hate the person I see
Tell everyone I'm fine though I know I'm not
Because eventually a day will come where I will be
It's hard to accept myself because ive made so many mistakes
Demons Jul 2018
I hate myself and I honestly cannot stop.
They say that I need to learn to love myself,
But I can’t when all my hope is falling off the shelf.
I’m Nobody at all,
Just a random phone call.
I’m nothing but another face in the hall.
Just another person you Saw.
I’m nothing important, another toy to mock,
And that’s pretty much why,
I hate myself and I honestly can’t stop.
.
Kim Elaydo Jun 2018
i want to be pretty
I want to be kind

i want to be loveable

i want to be wanted

instead

i got this ugly face
ugly personality
this ugly body
that makes everyone go away

I want to love myself
but i hate myself

i want to die die die
no i just want to be perfect

I want what she has
i know i never will

what do you see in her
that you cant find in me

you like because
you love despite

and you say you love me
but never despite

you like her because
she is all this and that
i cant be any of those and im sorry

why cant you just love me

well i do hate myself
a lot
so who doesnt give you the right
to hate me too?


its hard to stay sober
from self-hate

its the strongest drug
i’ll ever take

hooked on its bitter taste
hanging by its threads

tangled in its promises
that nothing will be good

for me atleast.

End.
just wanted to spill some thoughts sorry if the lack of editing is making you hate me dw i hate myself too probably more than anyone ever could.
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