Life is changing at an incredible speed
And I fear whether I have what I need
To change with it,

I feel overwhelmed and still try to keep faith
And I'm not yet certain if I am building a grave
Or a new home for myself

And I guess time will tell,
I'll try to say farewell
To the past as well.

_M.

Love is not an act or feeling
Love must be a way of being
Within yourself, not someone else
Or it won't survive distress
Cause life is pretty much a mess
No matter what you do regardless
So if you want to love, caress
All the depths and purposes
That are lying in yourself
Everyone has their bear to tame
And you did it, so can they
It is not part of the game
To play for others or to frame
Things as to be needed, cause as above
Stated, that ain't love

Life is pretty much a mess,
So live for yourself, anyways
You won't miss what's meant for you
So there's nothing else to do
Really in the outside world,
In the end,
Love's inside work.

_M.

It would hurt if I adored you any more than I do
because this is another page out of the same book

A bad habit of mine
A way to pass the time

But it's true that I'm crazy about you

Sometimes it feels like coming home
the way we talk
as if all hope isn't totally lost

You could never want me as much as I want you
and that's alright

This is just a trust exercise
an attempt at love
by someone far too traumatised

I don't count, for I don't know what counts
A look, a smile, silence, to turn and walk away
What counts is for them for which it matters
Known only at the end when the whole revealed
And I, a new self, rebuilt from all that counted
Of others: their words, presence, absence, or kiss
And we become Others, as Others become Us
The perfection of unity, now, a shadow glimpsed

I’m done with shame
I'm done with pain
It messes with my purity
And with my Identity

I'm done with holding myself back
For projections of the past
Right now the present moment
Is the one I want to last.

Courage, freedom and excitement
Curiosity, amazement
They're all my gateway to this new life
Where I'm living and I fly
And the shapes up on my sky
Come and pass, rise and subside
Kindly, unafraid to hide
For acceptance awaits
Those who know that all the greats
Lived with emotions running high
In front of their pen and their eye
Now, why would I
Not let the wind
Blow through my soul just a bit
Or as long as it’s needed
For the peace
I seek.

_M.

Derail your anxious train of thought

Open your inner spirit

And enter the dream corridor
like a leaf from a tree in its dying season

Coma come quiet
Airless linger delight

Sacrificial pasts
give you the power
to leave places

The world won't get better
but you will

I always loved a good mystery.
I just never realized how much I was one.
Do they even know who’s at home right now?
Do they know why that's a problem?
I always loved Sherlock Holmes.
But not even he could figure me out.

Are you a talker?
Or a listener.
I’ve always been both.
But I don't talk much at home.
I don’t talk much about it.
But I always sit there.
And listen.
While everybody serves their secrets.
Pouring them.
Spooning them
on to a platter.
I listen.
I might be breaking inside.
On my fourth sleepless night.
But that doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter?

I don’t know how to talk anymore.
About things that make me seen.
It comforts people.
To think they know me.
When really.
They don’t know anything.
I’m just a stranger.
Who collects their pain.
You talk to me and I lift that weight.
Tell me.
Do you feel lighter when you walk away?
Yeah.
Told you so.

So here I am.
Because I have nobody to turn to.
At the end of the day.
Except for you.
Who I love far more than friendships allow.
But not quite as a lover.
Who sees me as more than just a helpful tool.
Who understands that I too,
Suffer.
You just get it.
I just get you.
I don’t know..
But maybe you feel it too.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
This is love.