The pain
has faded.
I don’t need it to end.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,
at least a little.
I can see the optimism in
life.
I can see Everything,
and I thought that was enough
but maybe it's too much

because nothing’s going to change the fact
that I see myself as a walking dead girl.

I can now bare the pain
in my head.
But the pain is still there.
I’m still in the tunnel.
And even though I’m doing better,
I don’t think that it’s
Enough.

If I once was supposed to
**** myself
then maybe
I wasn’t supposed to
live.

The pain
has faded.
I don’t need it to end.
I’m happy,
at least a little.
I’m fine

But nothing’s going to change the fact
that I see myself as a walking dead girl.

I am a disaster
You better run faster
if you don't want to be pulled down the misery hole
These words are all unspoken
It's worse than being broken
living is a mystery fall

So don't you stay still
keep climbing up the hill
You don't want to be near this mess
Follow your wild instincts
Be driven by your feelings
That way you might escape the stress

Maybe one day you will save me
but today it's not the time
so don't look behind you and stay on the line

One look was all it took
For my heart to become yours
One smile was all I needed
To know I had found the one worth keeping
Years may have past
But how my love only grows daily
I’m not sure how I can say this
But you are the one I always needed
The one I have always longed for
You were the connecting dots of my broken heart
The only one to really save me.
You are the missing pieces
Of the jumbled puzzle I call my life
You are the light that guides me home
When I’m feeling all alone
For you are my Romeo
My little dream
My life

She stares into the distance,
her eyes flickered,
the window to her soul,
dimmed little by little;
have I not bled enough? she thought.

Inside her filled with cracks,
a cage that completely lost
its resonance
drop it too quickly
and she shatters, shards piercing another.

A self destructive weapon, is what it is,
in a fit state her demons coiled;
ne’er-do-well, she mirrors herself,
considers a heart of little no value.

maybe I deserved it all
on the bathroom floor
crunched up in a ball
ripping my skin open with my fingernails
she says I’m off the rails
he bails
leaves me alone with her
pounding on the door for me to open up
deeper in the nails go
she’s punching the windows open now yup,
my mind makes no sense
this time it will go too far
this time she drags me down the hallway by my hair
**** I really hate when she comes back from the bar
I dream about going somewhere beautiful and far
I try to concentrate on something other than the pain
-who could’ve known a child was being poisoned

Life.
Interactions with the world
My thoughts flowing freely out into my environment,
birds’ songs fill my ears as time begins to cease.
The colors of the sunset mix with my thoughts,
my possessions fill the air—
Darkness.
Cold as the pavement I landed on
Shades of black and grey on the backs of my eyelids
My body mechanically rising and falling
The constant rhythm of my pulse,
like the ticking of a clock,
my ears pound with this paralyzing sound.
They speak to me telling me that it’s okay
But I can only think
As I sink into the depths of myself
Into the dark and accepting waters of my subconscious—
Drowning.

It was like you loved seeing me in so much pain.
Like he had opened me up, took my lungs by taking my breath away.
It felt nice at first..... till it didn't.
Then you took my heart, or I gave it to you.
In hopes you would heal it, only to have you crush it.
Laughing at my pain, I saw the real you.
Why didn't I see it the first time you smiled?
I used to find comfort in that pretty smile of yours.
Now, I see where the devil lives. He is inside of you.
They warned me not to. But I couldn't help myself.
Your lips felt like home. Your touch made me no longer feel as if I was all alone. Your voice had me under some kind of spell.
I can't believe I didn't notice that you were slowly dragging me into hell.