It truly is a shame
It's a shame that this evil never left after it came
The residual, dry back shot residue leaves a stain
After every time I'm sccrewed and they remain
Those ones don't rinse off in the rain
The rain that came all the same
Leading me to aim my point at and then claim
That I'll never see life the same

©2024

you were just having fun,
within a day your feelings were undone,
happiness is a warm gun.

Am I fooling myself when I start to feel again.
can't I remain numb until my times end .
cause this feeling is tearing me up, unwilling to mend.
today and yesterday it started all over again .
why can't I be my only friend .  
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This negativity has become a part of me .
once in a blue moon it rises to be .
and I see it when everything around me.
starts fade away like the bubbles in my tea .
just lonely as can be .
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Something has changed .
somehow I ceased to being deranged.
everything is starting to feel estranged.
I want my box , where it's cold and grey.
that's where I'll remain , I'll stay , where I get away.
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Please forgive my heart for spilling .
it was overflowing with the process of healing.
some times it's worth not just having a wall , but a ceiling.
to stop the overwhelming feeling.
that I'll never touch another soul , cause you tore me open with to many holes .
and even now my heart continues leaking .
it's all so decieving.

Somedays, I'm killing it.

And other days, it's killing me.

But I am stronger than death.

This world is "**** or be killed,"

And I will not die.