I stay awake through the night
Listening to the incessant rain.
Might as well turn on the light.

Time for a trip down memory lane
All to the rain’s beat
You’ve been there, need I explain?

Down this path, I stroll with weary feet
I know the memories waiting to make me cry
Must I keep going down this street?

I want to bid the past good-bye
Rise to an unfathomed height
Reach for the blue sky

But that’s not happening, right?
I stay awake through the night.

What if she listened to me?
What if she took everything seriously?
What if she knew I would be a mess without her?
What if she wasn’t selfish?
What if she could be saved?

It’s hard to see this world when you don’t want to see anything in it.

The only thing you want is to make this world less scary.

But this world will never give you the second chance to make everything right.

I saw light
I run
I run
I run so fast
Faster and
Faster
But the light is so far
I stop
The light is slowly gone
And I cry

So many years
Feeling bad about myself
Berating my being
For being
Fundamentally flawed
Fragmented
Irreparable

I wish someone had noticed
Me
Pulling the hair off of my head
Me
Flailing about
Like a trout
Out of water
Me
Stepping on
All of the rakes
Unintentionally
But also
Sometimes
Fully aware
Of where
They were lurking in the grass

And I wish they’d said
To me
Stop
Stop
Stop.
Breathe.
Look around.
You’re ok.
You’re ok.
You’re beautiful
And young
And you couldn’t possibly know
How quickly time runs away.
So stop.
Stop saying
What’s wrong with me?!
You can stop
Because I’m here
To tell you.

What is wrong
With you
Is
That life
Fooled you
Into thinking
That there’s something wrong
With you.

Augustus is Dead
let we not celebrate
his life nor his death
For
he was no brother
to us

We are going to town
With confettis in our eyes
And venture a glorysome fervent party
We wreak havoc on
Soft ground and beguile
Butterflies and bees
And we drink nectar
In garderns straight out from flowers

The gardeners will be mad
But who are they to stop us?

They can't take the happy
We coddled in our bellies
Along with our whiskey
And denial.
Along with our dreams
Digesting, fermenting
In boiling loathing