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Cerasium Dec 2020
Thoughts race in this jagged mind of mine
head spinning and mind collapsing
what am I?
Am I a man or a woman?

Born male
yet I don't identify
I dress up as a female
yet I don't identify

torn between these two structures
that classify the human gender
yet I don't identify
It's killing me to realize

Maybe I'm both
maybe I'm not neither
so much to figure out
so much to process

the thoughts keep racing
beginning to spiral out of control
Pronouns he, him and his
never really fit

the pronouns she, her and hers
only left scars
at first I thought of transitioning
to clear out my head

but now it's like a stab wound
festering upon my soul
am I a man
or am I a woman

they both seem so permanent
and yet seem doable
so maybe I a both
but that's my choice to find

I like being called he
yet I like being called she
I like being called they
so maybe I'm both and neither in a whole

so call me crazy
say that I'm broken
say that I'm not right in my head
but at least I have the courage to be me
J Dec 2020
In a class, I'll sit and listen
they'll explain that I have no rights
as a member of the LGBTQ+
they'll say,
with pride of their skin,
black lives DON'T matter-
all lives do.
I'll sit here, OH YES,
I'll sit and listen
they'll talk about girls being ugly
talking about how
there are only two genders
and I'll sit here
relating women to paintings,
weaving them into my poems,
slightly pouting and confused
with my lack of their said gender.
Sighing,
I will sit here and listen
as they repeat the things
I've heard my entire life
and I'll bite my tongue, though not really
a look will pass by, rage seeps through pores
I'll leak liquid anger
until the toxins correct their rotten brains
I know I should say something,
but there are tons of them
and only micro-me.
Weak.
I'll sit here, and I will listen to them as
we all eagerly await the bell
Save us.
we're far apart, so
my mask is off now,
but when it sounds, when it promises peace
RING RING RING
I will stand, turn,
and Black Lives Matter will be almost
as prominent as a tattoo on my face,
the phrase will melt,
it will stick,
it will attach to my mouth
and say
scream
sing
the words that I cannot.
and I'll keep Sydney's hoodie on
as my bulletproof vest,
her chain against my heart
understanding that
THIS IS NOT A CHOICE
Why would I
ever
choose the pain I went through for this?
only to go home,
and hear more from my step-father,
with the victimizing mother actings
as if it never happens
writing in my eighth-period class makes me worried for their eyes.
Amy Nov 2020
I do not want you to cry

Most of you
Crying at my grave
I don´t even know just yet
At least so I hope

Still, I do not want you to cry

I want to die old
Surrounded by family
Surrounded by friends

Well knowing what I did
With a proud smile
I want to part
From my body
At least for this life

I want you to laugh
To remember

And yes...
If you feel like it
You may cry

Though not forever

Life keeps going on

We have no choice
No say
It´s better that way

I don´t know when
I don´t know how

I just want you to know
No matter who will be there

That I was proud
And happy
I am now
I shall always be
Funny hell, under the spotlights explained,
Painfully cruel, well built,
exposing the gravity of your wrong doing.
When time comes, please, tell me,
do show me how proud you are of yourself!
Hell, funny as it should be for the devil.
She once spoke of the devil being a god,
Doesn’t god mean everything?
Inspiration, sweetest love on earth and beyond,
Isn’t everyone the same here? Lovely
You fight for a right, yours.
Claimed! Right now and forever, claimed
My right to fight and stronger, reach happiness.
Part of my "Natural" collection,  © All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu
Hiwaga Nov 2020
You used to date someone who expresses her love for you in
secret love letters,
in far-away stares,
and in closed doors.

You used to settle
for kisses behind curtains,
attachments on empty hallways,
and memories being hidden.

Until you met me
in broad daylight,
in sunny days,
and blue skies.

Until I made you realize that
you are not meant
to be locked
in darkness.

You are meant to be free—
in colours,
in sunshine,
out there.
Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2020
Every way, each day
I am present to see it.
His miracle of being
I the recipient his gift
Awestruck, humbled, blessed
This I understand completely
Though I know not how, or why
I.  This man I still learn to know
As myself, of my self,
Admit having witness his growing
In great measure do I envy him
See his approach at living, being
embodying the kindest soul,
Naturally thoughtful and caring
How he is, has become
A lesson that I do learn from
My little legacy, so far beyond
better than from which he comes
I worry for him as fathers must
But not of him, of life's unexpected
always haunting every person
just out of foretelling, behind any horizon
For this treasure of my life I know
No doubt, to be a person of light
Wits, genuine smiles, listening and learning
His my Son, He is my Hero
I am out done, and yet,
ever the more thankful.
Blessed by You Zieven Lee.
Thank You.  More than you'll ever know.
ghost Nov 2020
a slap from the one who always stood by my side
hurt more than being
stabbed a thousand times
if I could turn back time
I wouldn't disappoint you again
so, please
trust me once more
I promise ill hold onto it
like nothing else
exits
ill love, you like you never felt the pain
when you're old
I'll hold your hand
and when you near the end
I'll be someone you're proud of
so trust me
it takes years to build trust but it takes a moment to break it.
lilac Nov 2020
her body painfully riddled with ink,
all the moments that made her heart sink,
stories and words that intertwined within,
look for the patches of free, untouched skin.

that needle brought hope, a fresh, new beginning,
to a past that had seemed to have no chance at winning,
i smile and i'm proud of her skin being covered,
its her uniform of pride, she made it out, unbothered.

-lilac
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