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Alexa Oliveira Jan 2014
Im proud of myself because i never gave up..
Im proud of myself because i stared fear in the face, and i know god is protecting me
Im proud of myself for releasing, crying, and feeling the emotions within my body...
Im proud of myself for seeking answers, and always looking for a better way to live...
Im proud of myself for making supreme progress in the last 22 days...
Im proud of myself for making it through "rehab" month...
Im proud of myself for accepting my current circumstances.  
Im proud of myself for finding peace.
Im proud of myself for asking for change
Im proud of myself for doing the best i can.
Im proud of myself for understanding Mommy wants me to be happy, she wants me to have the best life, and live the life i know i deserve...
Im proud of myself for going to the park today, even though it was pouring rain..
Im proud of myself for hugging the tree.
Im proud of myself for self -talking myself.
Im proud i am sitting here at work today.
An hour ago, i didnt know how i would get here... but i did...
Im here, im listening to the bible, simply eating my bagel, waiting for some tasks or something...
i got to lunch in 3 hours... Not really that big of a deal to me anymore..
Then i come back, and i only have four hours...
This will be my routine until i leave.. Doesnt even sound like Work... Sounds like a day off... Just another location...

Self Talk/ Music
Gratitude List/Listen to Bible Audio
Read the Bible/Read Books...
Watch Movies
Read the Bible
write poetry... create...
Looks like a great plan... Peace is here, Peace is Around me... Im changing. Wednesday of "Transformation Week"... im doing great!
Unknown  Feb 2020
Are You Proud?
Unknown Feb 2020
“Are you Proud?”

Are you proud, proud of the thing you created?
Are you happy, knowing your little girl, your middle daughter is breaking?
Are you excited, when I can hear you in what is supposed to the safety of my home, yelling?
Are you glad, when I cower in fear beneath my blankets, because I can’t stand the screams?
Are you euphoric, when I blend into the silence in between your conversations because that is where I feel safest?
Are you okay, when I say “I’m fine,” with a smile so wide it hurts and my eyes go dull?
Are you alright, as unknown to you I have monsters in my closet that comfort me more than you ever will, when you scream and shout at one another?

Are you Proud?

Do you sleep well at night, knowing that the sister I have grown up with hates me?
Do you go about your day, knowing that I don’t want to suffer any longer but for some reason I still do?
Do you relax well in the comfort of the couch, knowing that what little life I have left in me is feeble and fading?
Do you wake up in the morning believing the lies I tell you to keep you happy?
Do you know that reason I smile and make jokes is so I can keep the attention off of myself and not crumble beneath your expectations?
Do you realize that everything I do is to make life easier for you?
Don’t you see how I try to be mature because my father is an alcoholic child, my mother acts like violence is the answer to disobedience, my little sister hates every fiber of my being because I’m “not suffering like she is”, my big sister acts like she knows what she’s doing like she is perfect and that anything and everything we will ever to is against her.

Are you Proud?

Father, know that I don’t blame you for the things you have done to us.
Know that I don’t blame you for the cigarettes smoked on the couch nor  the boxes of beer your drink.
Father, I want to love you but I need to know you love me too, before you break what little of me is left.
Know that I wouldn’t blame you if you chose to do so.
Father, I know life is hard, especially for you but I am begging you, don’t make life impossible for me.
Know that every shout that escaped your lips is another cut that scars my skin.
Father, I love you, but I don’t know how long such words will last before they become the lies that I tell myself as I cry silently and alone in the dead of night.

Mother, know that I don’t blame you for the things you did to us.
Know that I don’t blame you for the slaps, the punches or the ignorance as to how and what we feel.
Mother, I want to love you but I need to know that you love all of us.
Know that I can’t blame you if one day you decided not to love me anymore because of something I did.
Mother, I know life is hard, we’ve heard your stories time and time again.
Know that every tear that escapes your eyes because of something I did, is another night I spend hating myself for being pain upon you.
Mother, I love you, but I love Father as well, and I need to know you won’t make me choose between the two of you.

Big sister, know that I don’t blame you for running away.
Know that I don’t blame you for all the times a fight has started because you were mentioned.
Big sister, I want to love you but I need to know that you still think of us as family.
Know that I just want all of us to be happy, together.
Big sister, I want to love you but I need to know that you won’t blame or hate us at every turn.

Little sister, know that I don’t blame you for hating me, truly I hate myself as well.
Know that I don’t blame you for all the things you’ve said to and about me, all the things you’ve done to me.
Little sister, I want to love you but I need to know that you won’t scream or shout every time I try to comfort you.
Know that I wouldn’t blame you if one day you decided to kick me out of your life and ignore my existence entirely.
Little sister, I know life is hard, especially in the world that we live in today but I am begging you, do not push me so close to the edge only to laugh as I jump off the edge and hope for release from your torment.
Know that every insult, every joke about me being the favorite child, every glare cuts deeper and deeper, and I fear my only choice is to lay down my life and bleed out from the wounds that you have inflicted upon me.
Little sister, I love you, but I don’t know how long I can keep telling myself that when you do nothing but prove my words to be untrue.

Are you Proud?

Father, Are you Proud of the way we cower in fear when you begin to yell?
But I don’t blame you for doing so.

Mother, Are you Proud of the way you stress us with your expectations?
But know I don’t blame you for wanting the best for us.

Big sister, Are you Proud of the way that you left us without you?
But know I don’t blame you for wanting to escape.

Little sister, Are you Proud of the way that your words hurt me so?
But know I don’t blame you for hating me.

Are you Proud?

Dear future me, know that I won’t blame you if you don’t make it to  18 years of age because you couldn’t handle life anymore and you chose to take refuge in the comforting embrace of death.
Know that I won’t blame you for all the bad choices that you are bound to make because of what I do now that makes your life miserable.
Dear future me, I want to love you, but I’m not sure I can. I have no idea, none that I could even fathom as to what kind of person you will be, I want to be proud of you but knowing me, I’ll never be proud of you.
Know that I don’t blame you if you resent me, I don’t resent the younger person I used to be, rather it’s pity that a child so small grew up to be such a disappointment.
Dear future me, I know that life is hard, believe me I know, I can only imagine how much worse it’s going to get for you,  so future me, no matter how close you are to today, thank you for waking up in the morning.
Know that every up has a down, but not every down has an up. Not all even plots of earth stays flat and earthquakes are bound to happen.
Dear future me, I love you, you might not believe it but I do. Know that no matter how much you hate yourself, I love you. I love you for waking up in the morning, for getting through each and every day even when it feels like there is a weight on your entire body that you never get used to. Still, know that as of today, the younger version of you truly loves you no matter how much you grow to despise your every fiber of your existence.

Dear dead me, death is not something that one can escape, so thank you for holding out for  however long you did. I have only two things to ask you.

1) Did I die on my own terms? Because I refuse to be a byproduct of something out of my control. And secondly...

Are you Proud?
Sam Conrad  Dec 2013
Sam Conrad Dec 2013
I am proud.
I'm proud of you.
While you've just recently hurt me more than anyone I've ever known,
I don't blame you for what you've done.
It was necessary for you.

I am proud.
I am proud of you.
I am proud of you for everything you put up with from me.
I am proud of you for sticking with me until the very end, at least, until you couldn't bear it anymore.
I am proud of you for doing now what you need to do be happy.

I'm not proud.
I'm not proud of myself.
I'm not proud of where I am with you.
I'm not proud of what I've done to you.
I'm not proud that I've hurt the only person I can say I truly know I love.

But I'm here.
Himani Vashishta Jan 2013
Yes, I am an Atheist.
A single word explains it.
I don’t have the popular, visor faith in God.
A little word retorts,
I don’t bend on my knees to pray.
Yes, I question God’s presence, doubt his omnipotence
I choose to think freely, so I am an Atheist!!
A single word may stimulate believers,
They say, I am condemned to hell and deserve damnation.
Egotistical, Arrogant and ‘Witch’ I am called in condemnation.
Still I assert, ‘I am proud to be an Atheist!!’

A Single word explains, I have torn all ties,
No more in mood of listening age-old rhetoric cries.
I have broken all barriers, which divide my own people,
To live my life by the Golden Rule of Humanity & affable.
I dream boundary’s falling, all mankind as one,
Humanity prevailing before any sham religion.
People of different caste and creed dancing-singing together in the bright light of sun.
Not idols rather humanity my religion, so I am proud to be an Atheist!!

A Single word Atheist for me doesn’t mean,
The faith believers preach I totally deny.
But so long as logic is there,
Anything else would be a lie.
I agree no religion asks its followers to become bigot and spread violence and hatred.
I am ready to follow any religion if believers assure no more blood would be shattered.
As far as I feel, they gave me no assurance, so still I am forced to be an Atheist!!

A Single word Brahmin for me explains my caste and religious status,
Even after born in a very religious family events converted me to atheist status.
I opened my eyes in India in year 1984,
The winter season was burning by religious riots, killing Sikhs daily more & more.
The mighty prime minister was assassinated of the county of crore,
Year 1985-86 also witnessed Ahmedabad roar.
Small incidents continued but year 1990 witnessed communal riots more and more.
Burning issue of Ram Janam Bhoomi temple touched this time every door.
Bliss of Childhood with me, I hide in my mother lap and just ignore.
My days filled with play, naps, snacks, beautiful dresses I wore.
Mommy and Daddy smiled at all the adorable things I did; my innocence something I was loved for.
My elder brother was my idol; my best friend remained with me like my shadow every hour.
In my childhood I was the most religious so respected for.
Communal frenzy converted that religious girl to the extent of proud Atheist!!

A little word lovable was apt for me
I started my schooling; mingle with kids of all caste.
My high born parents any how made me understand not to eat and meet with low caste.
That’s when I realized the equation of caste,
I was growing and learning about world very fast.
I found brotherhood my books preached and the scenario existed in society complete contrast.
Minor and some times major violence always outbreak on the name of creed and caste,
In the country which was such a vast.
I noticed my community condemning government policy of reserving for low caste.
This widespread hatred hurt my innocent heart turned me in a proud Atheist!!

A single word love got my all attention as I grow adult,
Yes, I was in love, the most beautiful feeling of this world.
Alas! My first love my true love never fulfilled,
In the midst of caste and creed.
Caste obligations made my life ruined,
God snatched my love and I stopped loving god so I am here a proud Atheist!!

A little word communalism shook the giant country in 2002 again,
The whole Gujarat drenched in blood rain.
All streets burning up to Sabarmati train,
Women *****, Innocent kids crying man dying, made my faith drain.
I wonder when humanity was slain where God remain,
Why faith can’t be questioned again.
Why can’t we see through communal-political equation?
Yes, I use reason and logic, so I am proud to be an Atheist!!

A single word Atheist changed my whole life,
Traditional man refused to make me wife.
My Family Life continuously on strife,
They say Bigots will put me dead by knife.
Believers speak ill for me in disguise,
Hoping quietly for my demise.
Still I dare to follow path of truth, so I am proud to be an Atheist!!

A single word fear I see in all eyes,
Take a deep look, communal worm hollow our society you realize.
Misinformation, falsification bloodshed that Bigots materialize,
God died in my heart since when religion start terrorize.
To save mankind quit all religious difference would be wise,
Otherwise all growth & development would paralyze.
Its High time, only human religion be initialize.
Till Human Religion finalize, I take proud in being an Atheist!!
So Here I am, A Proud Atheist!!

- Himani Vashishta
Brooke  Mar 2019
Proud of Me
Brooke Mar 2019
I just want to make you proud
Proud of who I am
Proud of how far I've come, and how far I'll go

I just want to make you proud
Proud of the little things I do, that drain my soul
Proud that I made it out of my small hole

I just want to make you proud
Proud that I do well in life
Proud of the relationships I've built

I just want to make you proud
But you make it so hard
Is making you proud even worth it?

I just want to make you proud
Proud, even just a little, just enough
To acknowledge that I exist
R  Jun 2018
R Jun 2018
They tell me to be proud,
but little do they know that Pride is a deadly sin and even deadlier if I walk through the wrong alleyway.

They tell me to be confident,
but little to they know that hands-in-my-pockets-hunched-over has hid me my whole life.

They tell me to be loud,
but little do they know that disappearing quietly has kept me alive all these years.

They tell me to speak up,
But little do they know that masking who I am has allowed me to move in this world
As If I Am Free.

They tell me to be proud but pride is confidence and confidence is being loud and being loud is speaking up and speaking up


Dangerous? Dangerous.

They tell me it's okay,
they'll be fine,
But how could they know? They haven't
faced the fear of knowing the unlimited know -

- Secrets spilled as blood over middle school halls -

They tell me to be proud.

They tell me to be proud, as if
confirming the masses can fix all that I've broken -

-Silent shards over ***** linoleum -

They tell me to be proud.

They tell me to be proud and I nod,
breaking glass and spilling blood and
maybe one day I will.

Maybe one day I'll speak up
loud and confident,
the terror of facing them left behind, my
shining clean face proud.

But until then,
They tell me to be proud.
They say and tell and demand me to be proud.
They tell me to be proud.

Dangerous? Dangerous.
Deadly? Deadly.

Shoutout to Those People Who Make Me Write This Poem. You know who you are.
Jill Anderson Feb 2012
Aren’t you so very proud?
Don’t you know who I have become?
Do you not care that I was lost and broken?
Do you not care that you have left me alone?
And angry words were last spoken,
Leaving everything unresolved among us
Because you have decided not to care
You have decided to escalate the fuss
And declare a lasting warfare.  

Aren’t you so very proud?
Don’t you realize you are missing out?
I am willing to share with you
I would let you in without a doubt
But I don’t think you would too.
It doesn’t look as if you care
It is as if you are not broken
I guess this is not a pain we share
To be alone and forgotten.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You have lost a daughter
But, that was your choice.
I am here to please you no longer
You many never again hear my voice.
The relationship is in your hands
Do with it what you will
I am done with your demands
And now you have a family minus a Jill.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You chose comfort over your very own child
Afraid of what others may say
But now you’ve let me run wild
And what do you think they now say?
They wonder how you could choose this.
Why did you give up? What did I do so wrong?
And now I don’t think I am even missed.
But I am fine. I am strong.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You gave up. I never will.
I will always wait
Never giving up hope still
Because I believe in fate.
I know you were in my life for a reason
One I cannot yet explain
And with the passing of each season
My spirit and strength will maintain.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You had a hand in raising me.
That you cannot deny.
And you can think back to times of glee
And all the times you made me cry
And you can know I am stronger now
That is thanks to you
Thank you for breaking me down
And thank you for loving me too.

Aren’t you so very proud?
I can see past you faults.
I still love you.
But you are supposed to be the adults
And your child is more mature than you.
I know I am loved, even if it is not by my parents
And their love is unconditional, like the lie you told me
About this you should care not
Because you chose to walk out on me.

Aren’t you so very proud?
Of the loving slaps and kicks you delivered
At times I was sad and scared
You merely pushed me down even further
Even when you said you cared.
But those blows made me stronger
Able to last in this difficult fight
Just a little longer
And keep my true self in sight.

Aren’t you so very proud?
You taught me a lot
Who I do not want to be
And who I am not
But it was not very easy to see.
This was all a struggle, do not get me wrong
But I need to say I am done too.
You have made me independent and strong
Now the rest is up to you.
It's not all that hard, it's so easy to learn,
Each and every one of these simple rules.
You see, I'm not even American,
But not even us Mexicans are such fools.

I know this language like I know myself,
I never laid hand on the shelf,
Where everyone placed their literature books,
Just to drop it for looks.

It's easy to remember,
Why can't you see,
English is so easy,
Or is it just me?

That wouldn't make sense.
Spanish was my first language.
Yet I've come to know English better than my native tongue.

You're not North American, British, or Australian?
Alright whatever, I'll let it slide.
But really, born and raised here?
Come on, it's a free ride.

Deosnt it btoher you taht erevy wrod is speled rong?
Notice can't that you is order your wrong?
Proud to be an American, it isn't really saying much.
Cuz it lik jus syin I cn bearle evn speek such.

Yes, I think you're stupid, every time you spell wrong,
Because it's so easy to fix even a word that is long.
It makes me wonder wether your autocorrect's off?
Because that simple thing, knows each time that you're off.

Is it really so hard to put in that one vowel,
Or put in the consonant so your spelling's not foul.
Or correct the double-negative, you know it's not true,
It's easy to do, just proofread right through.

We all have the ability needed learn,
Yet it seems your ability's been placed in an urn.
You've got a big brain, so why don't you use it?
Trust me, I know, you shouldn't abuse it.

If you have pride in nothing else,
That's fine,
But it's good to have pride in the fact that you know,
Be proud that you can communicate well,
Be proud that even the nerdiest of nerds can't use words you won't understand,
Be proud that you know how to use correct punctuation,
Be proud to know where "ph", "gh", "ou", "eau" and the silent "t" are used,
Be proud to know which words comes first, and which one comes last,
Be proud to know English, you can learn it all fast,
Be proud to know the art of words,
The art so many ancient cultures knew,
The ancient Japanese, and Romans, and even the French,
Yet America has forgotten how to use words.
Be proud to be a leader of the generation in the USA,
The generation that brings back knowing our own tongue,
So that foreigners who come don't know us better than us.
Be proud to know the beauty of language.
It really bothers me, it almost ****** me off, how much people seem to go out of their way to not learn their own language. People can compose great poems, but if you can't spell, or if the order's all wrong, your poem begins to lose its meaning and artistic value, it doesn't even make sense anymore.
Brianna  May 2014
Brianna May 2014
I am proud of myself for,
being a leader.

I am proud of myself for,
encouraging others.

I am proud of myself for,
pitching a great game.

I am proud of myself for,
catching 3 pop-ups in the field.

I am proud of myself for,
gathering my younger teamates
in the pitchers circle when the field's
lights went out.

I am proud of myself for,
playing softball and
never giving up.
storm siren  Nov 2016
Proud of Me
storm siren Nov 2016
No one's really ever proud of you
Until you do exactly what they say.
So no one will ever be proud of me,
But I'm okay with that.

I'm proud of me.

And I'm proud of you too.

Life is tough,
Life is hard,
And if I could punch my mental illness in the throat,
I'd do it.

And if I could stitch together all the shaky parts of you,
I would.
But if they didn't quiver from time to time,
They'd lose their character,
And I like that you have character.

Everyone has some type of insecurity,
I just happen to be a pistol and fire away at mine.

And when everyone's getting you down,
Listen above the crowd.
Hear above the noise,
Remember that I'm proud of you.

I am proud of your smile,
I am proud of your effort,
I am proud of your big victories
And your small victories.

And I know it probably doesn't mean much,
Coming from someone like me
(Meek, shy, and timid most of the time)
But I'm proud of you each and every day.
I  am a ball of confusion and too many emotions.

— The End —