Sometimes

Sometimes I relapse to you.
Most days I relapse to my mind.

But days like today.
I think of how I should try to move on away from you.
Yes I loved you.
Yes I love you.
But I need to keep away from you.

I won’t be able to do that by holding on.
Your number has been removed,
Our conversations have been deleted.
But I still listen to the memories of you
And baby I can’t ever dispute where my heart lies.

But it shouldn’t be on you.
It shouldn’t be on another too.
It should be on me.

Because ultimately my soul, my sanity.
It deserves the capability and capacity that my love lies on you.

“If you love me won’t you say something”

Our song lingers in the background, heavily playing with anecdotes
And innuendos of you.

But baby.
It hurts that it isn’t on me.

It hurts that it isn’t on me.

Because sometimes I think about how this is disastrous.
How it’s disappointing.

I’m the love I need.
Why can’t I see that?

Honk.
I flinch at the noise,
Staring straight at the alloys,
Of the behemoths stopping m…
HOonk.
Stopping me from reaching my destination.
The journey that forms the foundation,
Of the treadmill walking m…
HoOonk.
Walking me in baby steps
Just so that the next,
Class I take could let m…
HoOoOonk
Let me live my life
And be free from this strife.
Let me move forward instead of
HoOoOo…
Being stuck in traffic.

I run
It catches up
Grabs me by my hair
Tells me I am theirs
The never ending fears
Peace, please be there
The one I cannot seem to grasp
Bad habits and obscene contrasts
Still I follow
Faith
It leaves me hollowed
From dates past
No change
Heart rearranged and cast
Still
Hope is all I have

Its been a tough thought lately
Things keep constantly changing
As they should

As life mills over another season
We stand
Waiting to reap from the seeds we had sown

Waiting for consistent reality to
do something different
spark a little sort of essence

Residing somewhere beneath a cold skin

Singing for sweet sweet nothing's

Always hoping for a sensual happening

This is where we stop to think -
Dont think, this mosquito is ******* me off
Right brain sting

Im going to go work on my pc

But lastly,

never stop seeking.

To live life sat atop a plush throne,
You must release your inner pain.
Sweat fluidly and gather a flush tone-
No burdened toil shall fester in vane.

Violet Valley
Violent Valley

In unison
a painted progression
possession

Seen to the point of intrusion

Illusive
In a cloak of mercenary wander
A violet valley
of a crimson dawn

Drawn from scarlet billows

Where I seethe
Into a prison I saw
A vision blurred from yours

Under the heath of an adolescence
comes a lapse of time
in a spiritless essence

Godless

Unsheathing itself
In the beds of silence
the voice of a cobalt rebellion

Freedom stricken
Gaslit onto your lips

The index of incendiary

Rearing fruits of wonder
Where knowledge is set without bound
born from the dusk
of a violet valley

No truth knows where it has risen
For curiosity is kept unkempt
inside obscure tides

of thought from yours to mine.

Discipline your mind to think rationally and realistically
Let your reasons rhyme and your rhymes never be without reason
Resist resistance and render all rendering rendered
Be relentless with repentance,
righting every wrong until there’s only room for rewards
Whether god sent or godless be on guard regardless
Rearrange the soul of your renegade, show him how to be a real man
Until the distribution of retribution, this is the restitution
And remember, you are who you think

When I look at the stars, the sunset, the ocean. When I gaze upon the mountain range towering in front of my wide eyes. When the moon softly shines on my smiling face. I feel at peace.

When I feel the breeze on my skin, the grass beneath my bare feet thick between my toes. The tickle in my nose in a dusty room, the drops of rain colliding with my body during a storm. I feel alive.

When I watch lovers play in a busy park, their laughter singing whilst birds fly above them. When I dance, with friends, with strangers, with myself. When I embrace my partner and fall into dreamy slumber. I feel love.

When I think about my experiences, and the world around me. I realise, we have so much more in common, than the differences that tear us apart. And I feel... sorrow.

Am I alone? In my thoughts? In my feelings?

Does anyone understand?

...

I think they do.

I look around and see a women fall over, and several strangers around her flock to her aid. I see a struggling student be taught with a smile, by a patient mentor. I see those masses with nothing give everything, and give everything though those who have everything give nothing, and they give with love. I see whole countries welcoming their neighbours with warm, open arms. And I feel pity, for those countries with locked doors and guard dogs, for they know not what they miss. I feel for them, compassion, and understanding, for they too soon shall realise.

I see hatred grow into tolerance and I see tolerance grow into acceptance. And I see acceptance, evolve into love. And I see... progress... change.

And I feel... hope.

And I wonder... who else does?

are we really woke as much as we all claim to be?
or are we woke to ease our minds, which ain't reality?

of course we've signaled heavy change, i won't deny that's true
but let me have your ear for now, give you another view

are you really woke because you post a rant on twitter,
but bop to Chris Brown's music even tho we know he hit her?

are you really woke cause you were born into the slums,
but if you make it out,
you forget where you are from?

are you really woke because you claim to love black hair?
but only like the softer textures, is that really fair?

are you really woke 'cause you admire that 4c?
but put down girls who have relaxers, wigs, or wear a weave?

are you really woke because you claim to love all people,
but if ya boy is gay you will denounce him at the steeple?

are you really woke because you say you know what's right,
but ostracize your fellow blacks,
simply cause "they talk white?"

are you really woke because you claim to love all colors,
but date a darker women? yikes! you'd rather find another

are you really woke because you claim you've got insight,
but if i am depressed, you say that mess is for the whites?

i bring up all these issues not because i hate my own

i bring up all these issues just because they're never shown

and if we are to grow and prosper,
thrive and shed our past,
we need to have these conversations,

                                                 ­                                make sure that they last