I realize. I can only write quality when sad or angry. Frustrating, forever thus breaking the flow and only I know when the time will be to open up again and free all the thinking, shrinking, sinking and slipping thoughts up here behind closed eyes-
slowly eating away behind caged ribs .

Everyday new problems made, new orange cones and red lights parade the streets of needle and thread. The sun goes down at night and I dream of solving the problem-
the bargain continues to darken at every strike across the face that is the problem that I have made-
and make them I do everyday.
For myself to hide, runaway. Climbing up a mountain of faith only to carry the feeling and throw the thought off the edge,
like waste.

Engage, listen, explain. I do, I try, I will and I might even add something new if I feel like it. Just to climb to point 5 once again soon point 6, 7, 8 and I don’t think I've ever looked back. In time it fades to black.

Eating away.

For time flies forward and never back-
From wood to paper to metal screen, we move.
Though minds collide from forward and behind-
Run away. Run away.
So as we buzz forward we fall two beats behind.

All i ever did was care
But you were never there

Run, run
But you can’t hide
From the demons that chase you
Trying to move forwards
But continuously falling back

To live is to risk it all
We’re not getting out of here alive
Fear will be your downfall
We’re becoming susceptible to the mind hive

There’s no mask
To hide the stench
Of this rotting flesh

Frozen to the bone
Yet burning at the core

Upside down
Hang me from my feet
Let the blood run free
Let this life leave me

When did I lose control
Grasping tight with no grip
Falling through my finger tips
Will I ever become whole

Living this life in vain
I’ll take on every single pain
Ship me to the wasteland
For eternity I’m dammed

Tell me
Was this all apart of the master plan
Troubled times we have fallen upon
If I bare one more mistake, consider me gone
To the underworld; from earth forever banned

Don’t cry
You’re not to blame
I’m the only fault
I should have talked, instead I listened
I thought that was the truth
But now I see, the only person to blame
Is me
Shed not another tear
Continuing my walk of shame
This is meaningless
My head wrapped in pointlessness

Sick minds never to be cured
Falling trap to the sirens’ lure
Songs of the dead
Love me nevermore

A shot made in the dark pierces the heart
We were never meant to hurt, yet we choose not to heal
Sign my name in blood, I’m taking the devil’s deal
From the material world I’ll depart

Listen to the echoing cries of the souls lost
Too late to wish it was more I had fought

The silence of humanity is still louder than the screams of the dead
This place in hell I now call home
It was the closest thing I’ve found to not feeling alone

Keep your humility and thoughts of progression
For where I am now death was the only gift we wished for
Completely succumbed to corporate possession
Beautiful on the outside yet rotten to the core

Everybody will die
Everyone will suffer
You’re just a walking corpse
Slowly digging your own grave
You won’t be saved

Sometimes

Sometimes I relapse to you.
Most days I relapse to my mind.

But days like today.
I think of how I should try to move on away from you.
Yes I loved you.
Yes I love you.
But I need to keep away from you.

I won’t be able to do that by holding on.
Your number has been removed,
Our conversations have been deleted.
But I still listen to the memories of you
And baby I can’t ever dispute where my heart lies.

But it shouldn’t be on you.
It shouldn’t be on another too.
It should be on me.

Because ultimately my soul, my sanity.
It deserves the capability and capacity that my love lies on you.

“If you love me won’t you say something”

Our song lingers in the background, heavily playing with anecdotes
And innuendos of you.

But baby.
It hurts that it isn’t on me.

It hurts that it isn’t on me.

Because sometimes I think about how this is disastrous.
How it’s disappointing.

I’m the love I need.
Why can’t I see that?

Honk.
I flinch at the noise,
Staring straight at the alloys,
Of the behemoths stopping m…
HOonk.
Stopping me from reaching my destination.
The journey that forms the foundation,
Of the treadmill walking m…
HoOonk.
Walking me in baby steps
Just so that the next,
Class I take could let m…
HoOoOonk
Let me live my life
And be free from this strife.
Let me move forward instead of
HoOoOo…
Being stuck in traffic.

I run
It catches up
Grabs me by my hair
Tells me I am theirs
The never ending fears
Peace, please be there
The one I cannot seem to grasp
Bad habits and obscene contrasts
Still I follow
Faith
It leaves me hollowed
From dates past
No change
Heart rearranged and cast
Still
Hope is all I have

Its been a tough thought lately
Things keep constantly changing
As they should

As life mills over another season
We stand
Waiting to reap from the seeds we had sown

Waiting for consistent reality to
do something different
spark a little sort of essence

Residing somewhere beneath a cold skin

Singing for sweet sweet nothing's

Always hoping for a sensual happening

This is where we stop to think -
Dont think, this mosquito is ******* me off
Right brain sting

Im going to go work on my pc

But lastly,

never stop seeking.

To live life sat atop a plush throne,
You must release your inner pain.
Sweat fluidly and gather a flush tone-
No burdened toil shall fester in vane.

Violet Valley
Violent Valley

In unison
a painted progression
possession

Seen to the point of intrusion

Illusive
In a cloak of mercenary wander
A violet valley
of a crimson dawn

Drawn from scarlet billows

Where I seethe
Into a prison I saw
A vision blurred from yours

Under the heath of an adolescence
comes a lapse of time
in a spiritless essence

Godless

Unsheathing itself
In the beds of silence
the voice of a cobalt rebellion

Freedom stricken
Gaslit onto your lips

The index of incendiary

Rearing fruits of wonder
Where knowledge is set without bound
born from the dusk
of a violet valley

No truth knows where it has risen
For curiosity is kept unkempt
inside obscure tides

of thought from yours to mine.