take hold of that enduring poison
deep within me

that grips my stomach
and winds it around spindly fingers

untangle it
from my familiar web of emotions

be cautious

coax it out of me
little by little

set me free
to blossom in happiness

You're the poison
I can't run from
Your gaze holds me still
Your smiles tie me down
Your words drag me under
One touch on the shoulder
And I'll be out
Forever

You are like poison,
Really hazardous,
You melt me everytime i saw you,
Really dangerous,
Could hurt people's heart,
especially mine,
Very risky,
I would ending up hurting myself,
If i keep playing with the poison.

You were so close to me.
Every heart beat pumped you closer to me.
But you were just poison being injected in.
I tore my heart out before it could beat again.

We stretched the horizon,
Our pallet decorated the sky,
For one sweet moment it was just you and I.
Your sunshine kissed my closed eye lids.
Even when they were closed you still managed to seep through,
I couldn’t escape the image of you.

But you set in that sun,
And never rose again.
You took the warmth with you,
After all you put me through.

It is painful to feel you.
What was once petals is now thorns.
Bleeding me from every pour,
But you don’t seem to care at all.

You handed me a revolver,
And urged me to pull the trigger.
It was hard for me to tense my finger,
But you convinced me that this was for the better.

How do you transform,
emotions into words?
How do you describe despair,
without sounding absurd?

How can you paint,
using just text?
Trying your best to show hell,
through memories so convex.

It’s distorted, and ******,
and makes no ******* sense.
So you simply stop trying,
and let the pen run hence.

It’s like a highway,
from your head to your hand,
and the words simply flow,
into pictures you understand.

Vivid details,
melted to the core.
Simplistic observations,
into complicated lore.

It’s a rush, and insane,
like a dictated fever.
Like Frankenstein’s monster,
after pulling the lever.

When it’s done, and you’re empty,
re-reading your prose,
you can feel that channel,
starting to close.

Those are the times,
when I’m most at peace.
When the poison is gone,
and I’ve fed the beast.

I’ll never know how,
I get rid of the pain,
but thank God I can,
or I’d go insane.

Sometimes I create daydreams,
with nothing omitted,
and if others could see,
then I would be committed.

Daydreams of the pain,
that I’d make you endure,
till you begged me to stop,
as you writhe on the floor.

Dreams of carving “bad mommy”,
into your forehead,
so that your always reminded,
even if I’m dead.

Dreams of hurting him,
for what he’s done to our son,
you never lifting a finger to stop,
not ******* one.

Using me like you did,
like I wasn’t even real,
like I wasn’t a person,
or a human that could feel.

Seven years we’re together,
raising your daughter as mine.
You say you never loved me,
you faked it the whole time?

You only stayed,
because you were pregnant with bub?
In seven ******* years,
you couldn’t find something to love?!

You didn’t want to be,
a single mom of two?!
So you cheated with him?!
Well **** him, and *******!

Now I know the truth,
I know how you got that raise,
it wasn’t just him,
you ****** the entire place.

All of that I could forgive,
but he treats our son like ****,
and you just let it happen,
and I’ll never forget.

He knows that I’ll **** him,
if he ever lays a hand,
but it’s coming to a head,
and I’m about to ******* stand.

He’s all I got left,
you took all the rest,
and he’s the reason I’m here,
why my heart beats in my chest.

I wanted our son,
the moment I knew he was conceived,
and when he was born healthy,
I was so ******* relieved.

So you better pray,
that he doesn’t hurt bub,
because I’m one step from insanity,
all I need is a shove.

You ruined my life,
so you better take care of our sons’,
because my daydreams are vivid,
and I’m dying to try one.