Taking control of life
that is meant to be mine
a life full of happiness and joy
but caught in the middle of a raging war.
Years of fighting has taken its toll
as I sit and watch my life
fight with every tool and nail,
a glimmer of hope surfaces
a little bundle of joy
kicking and screaming
ready to take its place.

For too many years,
I watched as life tossed me
here and there,
up and down.
It is all a game,
I told myself
one minute I would seem to be a winner,
and the next finish as the runner-up.

But a life without a reason
now has a meaning
a battle without a plan
now has a purpose,
to live and fight another day.

humans everywhere
only one is meant for me
what horrible odds

Stuck in a prison, in
the shape of a heart.
Its messing with me,
Slowly tearing me apart.
This can't last forever,
Knew that from the start.
I was the first to fall,
You just played your part.
Sands build castles,
Then time, rips them apart.
Its all worth the hassle,
Like any precious piece of art.
Everybody Loves falling in love,
But they forget  the painful part.
Not all is forgotten,
Read the scars of a broken heart.
                                               The reason we do it again,
                                               confuses my soul, then
                                                the proceeds,
                                                 to break my heart. Never
                                                  again, the I cross my Heart.
She crosses my path,
Then it all falls a part.
I play the fool,
While she fiddles my heart.
Wrapped around her fingers,
Trapped from the start. As
Silly as it sounds, it hurt
Being apart. A piece to her
Game, loved playing hearts.
Using darts-- playing my part; Right.
Left a crack in my heart.

that's all we have
before i leave for months.
one more chance
to make us "us"

i admit, i'm nervous
for failure- for a mistake.
what if i don't look right,
or i mumble, or i shake?

but i guess we'll see
what starts or ends.
will we be a couple,
or just stay friends?

I didn't ask for this.
This was not my plan
Nor my intentions.
But some things
Just cannot be stopped.
Often, I find,
You fall into them -
These somethings.
Stumbling blindly,
Forward, into
Unexpected chaos
Or order, whichever.
It was accidental,
This thing I found.
I wasn't looking
But it rushed to find me.
And here I am,
Missing you.

it was too dark for me to notice that you were holding my hand ; leading me along the path into the bleakness i thought was all my own
you're lovely but you don't know it
even if the wind was caught in your hair or perhaps the snowflakes were kissing your near-azure lips ; i'd still think of you all the same

i'll light a candle and stay by your backdoor in case you ever need an escape despite the countless times you've told me to stay away
i’ll stay because.
because. well, as bittersweet as it may seem in the eyes of you, you've awoken me from the pits of hell. saved me from the oceans of tears.
the reflection my eyes find themselves watching is much different from the year old pictures hidden away in my closet
different in the good way, in the better person manner. i see light in the darkest hours and yet you constantly fail to realise it.

all you see is the destruction surrounding you and yet you've forgotten how you're the reason why we all still believe
we all still believe in plan b, or an escape exit. because there will always be a way out no matter how deep the trench you find yourself in
you see, you've forgotten. you've forgotten our history, our memories. You've forgotten it all!

You've forgotten me.

and so i'll wait amongst the shadows for you by the door around the back.
the door we both knew about but never used.

baby, let me be your escape plan.