𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝, 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚍.
𝙱𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎.
𝚂𝚘, 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎.
𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛.

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐?
𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎?

𝙸𝚏 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎,
𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎, 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕.

you said
you would
love all of
me

but instead
you loved
the person
i pretend to be

i'm a dizzy person
i don't know if i'm living or not
i don't know who i am or who i was
i don't know if i'm remembering or forgetting
i don't know if i'll ever be get rid of this
all i know is something hazily flows between my mind and my soul

I don’t know how to say that I’m not okay
Without feeling like a burden on someone’s day
I think other people feel the same
I think it best to keep my words in a safe
Do you see the state of the world?
It’s a stage that’s all burnt
All’s broken and nothing works
Look at our leaders
Gaining it all at the expense of all the teachers
Look at my features
I think that I’m a four maybe at best a five
And yet I wonder what the hell am I doing alive
I feel like I’m a waste
When there are others who would love to be in my place
As if I don’t know that.
I’m not good at anything
Or at least not something profitable
But I won’t dare send myself to a hospital
If it ain’t something painless
I’m not gonna spend life making payments on my medical fees
I’m not at ease
The woman in the mirror’s saying “help me, please”
But where do I begin?
I know it’s something I must do from within.