#paranoia poems on Hello Poetry

Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019

Crest

The whole time,
I was running as fast as I could, consumed by the flames that only knew that they should whisper
—————————————————
to just run
—————————————————
just run away,
—————————————————
that they should lick me
to get a taste
and desire me forever,
—————————————————
that they should laugh
to keep me fleeing,
—————————————————
so away and away,
—————————————————
to keep me fearing
for my life and even
other lives,
—————————————————
so
many
lives
—————————————————
enough
that in a terrored moment,
I couldn't remember
if they were my own,
—————————————————
and at the end of the edges
that I just kept running through,
—————————————————
even though
there was nothing left for me
to see or feel,
nothing left to convince me
that safety was only steps away
if I could please,
please
just keep taking them,
—————————————————
I was stricken,
impaled on
the thought,
the horrified suspicion,
some feeling bent on attacking me too,
the final flagship of my guilt,
—————————————————
a death speech,

—————————————————
that maybe I was leading those flames instead.
—————————————————
Where should we have gone?

#fear #running #abandonment #leading #following #guilt #paranoia #hindsight

Carlo C Gomez Dec 2019

Icehouse

I hide
In rooms
Cold and spacious

Sleep is a hunter
Triggered
and mendacious

Through cracks
In crevices
Here I am

Studying the arts & architecture
Of historically
Dead mayhem

Affixed and frozen
To the ceiling
Of my head

Where twisted thoughts
Grin signature
Red

I can quote
All sorts
Of useless things

But none so urgent as prayers
In escaping what
My polar opposite brings

"I feel like I'm a snow globe and someone shook me up and now every little piece of me is falling back randomly and nothing is ending up where it used to be." --Amy Reed on her fight with bipolar-disorder.

#bipolar #mental #health #mind #paranoia #illness #life #medication

Carlo C Gomez Nov 2019

Nuclear Family

Dinner by candlelight
underneath the stairs, down
in the bomb shelter,
dancing to love, peace, and paranoia.
An evening called quiet
resentment, where there's
canned goods and children's games,
Duck & Cover,
or if you prefer,
Heimlich Maneuver.
Then little sleepy heads
go gently into their bunkered beds.
They might not outlive
the threat, but
the plan has a half-life of a chance.

#war #peace #shelter #family #paranoia #love #nuclear

Undead Nomad Dec 2019

In the Dragon's Teeth

after the sound
preceding the voice of the hounds
falling down
head in the ground
I hate this town
burning my anger all around

caught in the dragon's teeth
can't even feel the bleed
paralyzed
like it was all a dream

watching me...
something behind the scenes
pulling strings
taunting me

something went wrong
what have I done?
if you could help me now
where have I become?
see me over and out
how could I break my vow?
only you could break me out

caught in the dragon's teeth
can't even feel the bleed
paralyzed
like it was all a dream

watching me...
something behind the scenes
pulling strings
taunting me

and I'm wondering
will it come for me?
this unwanted company
it just won't let me be
I've got to meet an end
the only way to be free

#paranoia

Rylie Lucas Dec 2019

school

Shouldn't they
Care about us?
Having compassion
Opens up doorways and
Opportunities. it allows for
Learning and growth.

Instead, they feign these things
Shooing away the cries of pain.

Help us" they scream, their words
Echoing off of walls.
Losing their meaning as they multiply and
Likewise, get ignored.

hahaha...the US school system is ******

#school #hell #depression #anxiety #helpme #dying #bipolar #paranoia

Gray Dawson Nov 2019

Obsessively Crazy

Obsessively thinking, about thinking
I'm thinking the thoughts in my head, were placed there.
Something is wrong with the part of my brain that does the linking.
The seams that were made when my last therapist took out my brain, are starting to tear.

I'm lost in the flow of my words. Planted words.
Am I losing my mind? I can't lose it a second time.
The verbs I produced, destroy me, with slicing, and dicing.
And the rhyming, has turned into pantomime.

What were the words I spoke minutes ago?
Have they even taken my memory?
A part of me doesn't want to know.
But this is different, this is treachery.

Stolen thoughts, stolen memories, stolen words.
Am I the "crazy" that everyone imagines?
My mind keeps getting split, halves, now thirds.
I think the diagnois matches.

I guess I was meant to be crazy.

#crazy #obsessive #insanity #anxiety #depression #paranoia #paranoid #therapy #thoughts #thinking

Asominate Nov 2019

Friends 3: Happy Endings

I have a problem, it is my fault,
It grows within me, cancer I've got
As the time passes, it expands,
Isn't it funny? Clap your hands.

I have an issue, what a shame,
You are the victims, I'm to blame.
As the time passes, it contaminates,
Admiration turns to fear... I hate.

It's not dislike, it feels too strong,
Of the little I feel, what I feel feels wrong.
I become more of nothing, and grow more patient,
The fear's realized, I'm contaminated.

I'm keeping secrets, whatever they may be;
A multidimensional personality?
It's not much but I can be very complex:
I can't simply be confused, I'm feeling perplexed.

Isn't it scandalous, who would've thought?
I can't wait for the day my body will rot
It's not much but I can't distinguish pain
I only sense something's off 'cause my feelings are in vain.

The loneliness consumes me, guilt's the product of my fear.
I put on my mask, just like you asked, just because I care.
The cycle, it starts all over again:
I mask me for "love," and I "love" my "friends."

3: Submission

#friends #friendship #cycle #lonely #loneliness #paranoia #asominate #alone #submission #docile

Asominate Nov 2019

Friends 2: tHe LiTtLe ThInGs

All those times you've dismissed me,
The times I've been ignored,
It may just be the little things
But they add up to more.

All those times that you'd mock me
Because I am different,
I change because it is "love,"
I change 'cause you're my "friends."

The loneliness consumes me,
Your love is bittersweet!
I always have to feed you,
Starving, I watch you eat.

Bittersweet becomes bitter
What's this I feel? Fear Hate?
No more I long for your "love,"
My funeral, I crave.

I hate the way you "love" me,
I hate the way you sing,
I hate your species' existence!
You know, tHe LiTtLe ThInGs.

2: Anger

#friends #friendship #cycle #lonely #loneliness #paranoia #asominate #alone #anger #hate

Asominate Nov 2019

Friends Part 1: Do You Like What You See?

The loneliness consumes me;
I feel painfully numb.
All you humans, you scare me,
I feel so unwelcomed.

I wear the mask you make me
So what else do you want?
Now, do you like what you see?
Perfectly nonchalant.

1: Submission

#friends #friendship #cycle #lonely #loneliness #paranoia #asominate #alone

Ksh Nov 2019

Streak

I need a win.
Just to feel like I'm not scrabbling.
Just to feel like I'm not being dragged by undercurrents,
knees and palms ****** as they scraped against the sand.

I need a win
Just to feel like when I open my mouth,
something comes out,
something that resembles my voice, and not
flies rattling around my ribcage.

I need a win,
Just to feel like my mind isn't imploding on itself,
full Big Brother, each whisper a shout,
each sigh a taunt,
each silence deafening.

I need a win,
Just to feel like my lips aren't sealed
with duct tape and industrial glue,
like I'm not being thrown into the river,
hands tied to my back,
pockets filled with rocks
and lungs full of blood,
because even in drowning
I can't get it right the first time.

I need a win,
because I've been on such a long-running losing streak
That I feel like I should get a **** Guinness world record
For 'most pathetic'.

I need a win,
because every time I stumble,
the pavement seems to be more forgiving.

I need a win,
because otherwise,
losing becomes normal.

Life is a constant battle,
And I sometimes think
that, at this point,
it may very well be my last.

#anxiety #paranoia #mental #illness #depression #freeform #win #streak #lose #life