hindi ko alam saan magsisimula
saan pupulutin ang mga naiwang piraso
ng pagkatao ko
parang lalagyang walang laman
lumulutang at walang patutunguhan
sasakyang walang destinasyon
ibong naiwan ng mga kasama nito
nasaan na nga ba ako?
ba't naliligaw pa rin sa mundong 'to?
kakahanap ko sa sarili ko,
bakit di ko pa rin matumbok kung nasaan ako
Mga boses sa kaniyang isipan
Kailan kaya mauubusan?
ng lakas loob upang manira
hindi lamang ng sarili pati iba
pilit na pagpapakinis
upang tuluyang matanggap ng iba
kailanma'y di ka naging normal
produkto nang di kanais nais na mga ganap
kailan kaya naisipang sumuko?
at ngayo'y di na tumigil sa paghinto
at pagpatay ng bawat kasiyahang natitira sa iyong puso
ang wirdo mo
bakit di ka maging kagaya nila?
bakit di mo baguhin kung sino ka?
patayin ang sariling pagkatao para matanggap ng iba
nagiging kagaya ka na nila
ngayon, alam mo pa ba kung sino ka?
sa dinarami rami ng kasinungalingang iniluwa
mga pader na itinayo't ngayo'y pilit tinatago
natatakot na baka sakaling di na sila matuwa
na tumigil ang atensyong pinaghirapang makuha
matapos ay sasabihin nilang
"nag-iba ka na"
Filipino People pleaser lost nawawala people-pleasing bad habits
Fast and full of people
Mixed with various ages and genders
A vehicle that could take you anywhere
But never waits for you
It doesn't unless if it needs to load new passengers
You know where you wanted to go
But it drops you off wherever it wanted
You're on your own now
As it mercilessly open it's floor open it's floor per traveler
So sudden you wouldn't know where to hold
You could only climb back up to station
To wait for it's appearance to show again
Or you could use a part of it
That you only managed to hold on
To chase it back again
Or to throw it with anger
If I could see that train again
I would do my best to hold onto it
As hard as I could
As hard as it gets
As hard as it shakes me off to fall
The sun shines bright
The outside seems alright
But you're there
All bottled up inside
Storms don't last
But yours felt like
Clouds of dust following you
All year round
All you wanted was to shine
But all you see is their squinting eyes
So you stayed behind
Waiting for the crowd to be kind
So you wished
If there was another universe
Where your feet wasn't chained to the ground
You started your first day
Thinking of new beginning
But you stayed inside your head
And ended up running
"Maybe I couldn't"
Strangers and friends
Didn't differ that much
Gone faster than the wind
They wouldn't look back
Walang bumabagabag sa iyong isipan.
Kundi ang mga memorya't mga salitang kaniyang iniwan.
Walang nakakaalam ng iyong pinagdaraanan.
Nadudual, nahihilo, walang gana kumain, walang gana gumalaw at gumawa ng pagbabago
May motibo pero mabilis ding sumusuko
nilalamig, nanginginig, nakatulala, kumukulo na ang sikmura
Ibang-iba sa panlabas na anyong ipinapakita
katahimikan, kasiyahan, kalituhan, sigaw ng pusong uhaw
makakamit kaya lahat bago pumanaw?
ika-29 ng Oktubre
Nakaligtaan ang lihim na pagkakamali
may oras pa bago maputulan ng tubig
I simply forgot to pay the water bill but in this specific day, I thought I had things in my control then problems and complications went on and on until I felt buried in them.
But this song will be
My deepest apology
From someone like me
I should've treated you better
Not that kind of girl who
Give thorns from words in my songs
If you'd read this letter
I hope you'll feel better
I'm your cactus friend
Who tries to hug you
Give thorns that made you bled
I'm sorry I'm waving good bye
But this will help you fly high
So go chase that dream
And forget that I have lived
I'm your cactus friend
Don't worry this soon will end
I'm sorry if I'd hurt you badly
You'll soon be sleeping soundly
I just wanna say I'm sorry
And thank you
My dearest friend
It's me your cactus friend
This is the raw sketch of my song Your Cactus Friend. It's a result of my overthinking that I thought I'm not enough. It was supposed to be for my ex-boyfriend but after some years I learned that it was for the people I cared but pushed away. Hope you like it though.