Air**
It moves in an out between my lips.
If fills and empties my lungs.
It provides oxygen for my blood.
And yet I hate the taste of it.
It reminds me I'm alive,
And I despair in life,
Because life is harmful.
My soul wrongs itself,
So that tears fall from my eyes.
If the air were to stop,
I might be happy;
Then again if the air stopped,
I wouldn't have you.

I can't ******* breathe
Certain thoughts just won't leave
I can't escape this pain
These things loom over my head

Hi Anxiety, my old friend
Place your grip on me
I'll crumble under you're familiar embrace

Hi Depression, I love you
Please don't come back
when you combine in my mind
I die
Then how would you spend your time
Without me to hypnotize

My heart is being squeezed and torn and tugged and pulled
Just trying to hold on
My lungs give up
They can't get enough oxygen

These things cloud over me
They control everything
The only best friends I ever need

Oh my love come fight them away
Come save the day
Before they win
They will dictate my life
If you don't teach me how to fight

This is
A
Tangible
Misery
So
Hold onto
Me
I much don't like breathing
But you
Always you, you have
Made oxygen
So much more worth taking
Until both my lungs
Are filled
With your smoke
So, see
You cannot go
I would forget
How to breathe
For good

Oxygen has this way to let us live and let us die
Generous enough to give us our first breathe
But cruel enough to give it to another
Who in time will cause nothing but harm.

Combining with the pollution that surrounds the gases
It breaks us down into opinions that are neither right nor wrong
We battle each other while we ignore its silent laughter
Tearing at each others throats as if to break the windpipe

Sirens wail over hills touching even the lands covered in shadows
While cruel beasts stay dependent on the invisible
The sound waves soar between signs upon the motorways
While the taste on your tongue torments the oxygen that it swallows

Going, leaving, left, the pupils dilate to such a degree
That they nearly reach the size of its lids
We see it as a mother, a nurturer, a monster
And the world has given it the ticket to our lives.

Trying to Breathe**

I'm sure when my Mom brought me into this world,
She would have never imagined I would have done something so stupid.
That day 1964 is still clear as hell..blowing clouds of "killa" with my very first smoke.
Kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette all on the sameday..Milestone..NOT
Nothing but a cool fool...So Cool.....My *** was frosted over!

This COPD death sentence reeks of a smell you never get rid of.
Shallow strained breathing keeps time with syncopated heart beats.
And if your a smoker my friend I know this message is gonna get your attention.
Let the message sink in and swirl around your head like those clouds of "killa".
And remember this................

"You can't delete racism. It's like a cigarette, you can't stop smoking if you don't want to and you can't delete racism if people don't want to. But I'll continue do everything I can to help!"

-K.E. Carman 2015

And then
In a single moment
You were the oxygen I breathe
I found it hard to believe
That I might die without your touch
Just your presence and your scent
Was more than enough
But a tiny drop of your love
Could never be too much