It's easy to write about the immediate things in your mind,
the things lingering in your mind's eye,
the things crossing on your pedestrian eyebrows,
the things that hover just beyond your peripheral vision,
the things that are to be blamed when people comment on your
"distracted look"...

It's so easy to write about them all and it's in times like this when I'm so thoughtless that I want to get those trivial things back-


My thoughts, that is.

Oh dear mind of mine,
Are you really mine?
Are you really connected
To my bones?
Are you really a part of
Myself?
Can't you hear my heart?
Screaming his name,
Everytime you bring us
A picture of himself,
Didn't you get the memo?
Where we left very clear,
That it was for our safety,
To not overthink his face,
Leave his smell locked out,
But here you are,
What a traitor,
Our heart skipped a beat
And now can't stop crying
All because,
You are thinking on your own,
Oh dear mind of mine,
Just spare me one,
Let me live with no regret,
With no sorrow
And no heartache.

My brain. What a deadly, fatal *****.

Way too speculatious
That's how I'm used to be
I feel like passing weeks
Stole me some energy

I question myself
My thoughts
Everything
Because of what
He said
Because of him

I try to discover the truth
But all I am doing is hiding
I need to climb up a roof
To escape the walls
Which are blinding

I used to believe
In a set of rules
With different maxima
That brought me relief
I used to realize
That I can always choose
I don't know how
This all I could lose

Probably I saved it
In the back of my mind
Behind the part
That I'm trying to hide

Oh that's the solution
It possibly is
I have to let go
The things
I won't miss

I have to accept
Me - the way I am
I have to move on
And not to hold on

Confusion's a product
Of indecisive moods
That's how I take
This problem by its roots

I have to make decisions
Because they count
I have to choose
And not to doubt

I seem to have this problem
Where I think too hard or not at all
I overanalyze overthink over complicate
But moments later zone out at the wall
A read into what should be left alone
And lose focus on conversations that should be heard
I make a big deal out of nothing
Later I miss your every word
I space responsibilities and events
But can't forget how self conscious I feel
I think too hard about a lot of things
Especially emotional wounds I wish could heal
Whoever stole the in between
I could really use it back
Those moments of deep thought
Filled the void leaving me not to lack
An excitement for life, free spirit, or light heart
Keeping me steady and sure
And return my focus on what matters most
To be able to hear through all the chatter

I need to stop overthinking
and just pause for a moment,
...do something distracting
just become frozen.

There's rules everyone makes that they live by.
Their morals I suppose.
They ground things that you live by, the lines you draw, the walls you build , and the bridges we burn.

We have our things that keep us "in line". We all have our past some of us try to hide. So we make new rules, we make new lines, we burn more bridges.

Everyone has an idea on who they are. A majority of the time we try to find every way to put ourself down.
We find a way on how we aren't perfect. Everyone tries to make it ok to say they aren't good at this or that.
Every person always says they are less than what someone will tell them they are good at. Worse we try to prove said person who is trying to make you look as a good person.

We get told a million things within our time of living. We all get pushed down. We all get told we aren't good enough. We all fall, we fall further than we can pick ourself up sometimes.  

There will be more people who tell us bad things about ourself than good.
The people who tell you the things that keep you up at night always end up being the people closest to you.

You will never care what a person says that you don't know much. You will  care and stay up at night remembering the words someone you love or trust said to you. You light forget it but they stick for long amounts of time.

You will always stay up at night over thinking the words you tell yourself.
You won't forget them.
Because you are yourself, your own words won't go away easily ever.

Your words are the words that dictate the future you hold. You can make yourself fall by reciting the words you stay up at night hearing.

There will always be more cruel people in the world than nice.
The one person who's the most cruel is secretly yourself.
No one will think that they are the person hurting them self the most but they are.

We all overthink on stepping out of our "comfort" zone.
Because we are scared on either what someone might say, if it'll effect how others feel about you.

We all make things a hundred times harder for our self because you'll think you aren't good enough for a person you haven't even met.

Every bridge we burn, we don't burn enough inside of us.


-Lovey