i see couples in the hallway at school
kissing and holding hands and hugging
i used to be jealous of them
how come they get to be happy and i don't?
how come they have someone to love and be loved in return and i don't?
but now that i'm with you
i'm not jealous
even though we're far apart
because i know they won't last
they don't have the kind of love that we have
so would i rather have that kind of love?
no
never
i would rather love you from a distance
than ever love someone here in person

When I see that face
I forget all the pain
I have been through!
Then the only words I get
on my lips are I love you.

and only I am
and that is my sadness
and that is my sadness
from what is in the world
just me alone
and nobody else and nothing else

all around and further pictures
all around and forever alone patterns
only drawings only
music and nobody else and nothing else
and it's all ready and just me and listen
only me and me and nobody else

and who else no one can
everything is music and i'm just a listener
only I exist only I
and all around one mirage in which
and I've never really been
which i just look at and see

01.11.18

I bet that if I asked you if you know me, you'd say yes
But really, I'm the only one that knows me the best
You think you do because of the way I act around you,
but truly, you are just being fooled.
That was my intention anyways
I am happy that it became true.
There are so many fake people and I won't let them get to me through you.
One thing that is true is that my heart is precious...
I don't know about you boo...

There is no love in my life
No one to hug and hold tight...

-

I don't feel that presence
To know they'll be there
I'm not warm and secure
By somebody who cares

-

I am empty; alone
Only hollow inside
On my face show a smile
But just want to cry
I am trapped in a cage
My one wish; To be free
Can't escape my own skin
Life's a joke played on me