It's now, you need to be brave
For you've fear in your heart
It's now, you need to obey
For you've been free, too long

It's now, you need to be responsible
For you've ran away from it all your life
It's now, you need to fall in line
For your entire life was out of line

It's now you need, Balance
For you've enjoyed the imbalance in chaos
It's now the time to sit still
For you've never stopped moving

It's now the time to build
For you've only but destroyed
Remember the message
Alas, you'll repeat the mistake twice.

I moved a year ago today.
I moved because I had a girl who I kissed and hugged after a nap.
It was beautiful and I was warm.
I moved a year ago today to marry that girl.
But here I am wondering why God made it work out this way?

Am I vindicated in my loneliness?
Is the hurt that laces my veins worth it?
Is it time to forge forward and dictate all of this to prior events and let it all pass?
Because I know that it will happen one day, but right now my Heaven is my past.

The warmth slowly dissipated and the negatives became the norm.
I made mistakes that I knew I was making while they left my mouth.
I took on stances just to be right.
And my vices intensified despite my soul getting closer to the light.

I have moved closer to Hell while seeing more of Heavens' eyes.
I miss the warmth and the skin that I used to snuggle up next to mine.
My eyes see this as my personal anti absolution.
Or as I like to call it my personal Hell.

I moved a year ago today.
I moved because I felt God pulling me this way.
But now I don't know if it was Him or my own personal will?
For she is gone and Heaven has been tainted.

I wanted to be one so bad that it clouded my Heaven and diverted it to this Hell.
Did I lose my will to be me because I desired something that is always going to be beyond my influence?
For it is not my will that takes precedent, but God's.
So here I am wondering if God will make it work out today?

I was a man who clung to that which he loved.
To a family that he loved, the one that he wished he was still apart of.
Now I am clinging onto hope, to God.
To insecurities, to pain, to guilt.
I was a man who only had memories connected to the family that almost was.
Now I am trying to forge my own memories that are connected to me.

I wish naps ended with the waking to my one.
I hope God sees it in him to let this happen again.
I'm sick of searching.
I'm sick of being vulnerable to those who won't last.

I want to be one, with the correct one.
I want to be vulnerable again.
But I want it to be the last time.
God, what is the desire of my heart?
God let it be this.

I moved one year ago today.
Maybe a year from now I will wake up from a nap and see my one in my arms as I lay.

in forty three days
the world will shift
not for you maybe
not even a bit

but in forty three days
my axis will tilt
and fall to the ground
shattering there

in those forty three days
I will change again
and move far away
never to be seen again

The words to let you know that I miss you
Were lost in life's current and I became selfish
But I never stopped watching you from the sidewalk
So you can walk safely to your own happiness
The words to hopefully make you stay here
Were lost when you pushed away a sweet embrace
But I realized that it's okay to let you go
So you can find home in someone's happiness
The words to remind you to take care and be happy
Were lost in misunderstandings and rough closure
But don't worry, I'll give it to someone else
So we can move on and make others happy
The words to tell you that I'm still yours
Were lost in the truth that it was long past
But I'll never stop giving a part of me always
So I can find home in someone's happiness