I expected my first night at a college
to be like in the movies,
and to an extent it was.
Walking down streets on wet asphalt,
halloween night without a raincoat.
Half of my expectations
must have been coated
in a thick fog,
surprising me with consistent images
of you.
We snuck into the bathroom
of an unfamiliar apartment
just to manage one last kiss
before we sobered up.

The costumes would come off
and we would go back to pretending
you were just a friend.

You told me you didn't like to see movies alone
I told you, "then go with someone you love"

You didn't invite me.

Why isn't it like in the movies?
I thought that's how it would be
But there's no windswept kiss
Or romantic triste
Instead, I live my love vicariously

The films promised a one and only
Or at least a handsome lover
But when the last one left
I remained bereft
I can't seem to find another

I could have won best actress award
Oh, the nights, how I cried and cried
Stayed in bed for days
Whilst counting the ways
That my ****** Jane Austen had lied

Perhaps there is no Mr Darcy
Or even a Mr Gray
I'd be happy with a simple soul
But while my heart's on parole
I'm stuck in a Groundhog Day

No Sliding Doors romance for me
No Love Actually, no fun and laughter
My hope has gone
Of that special one
Or my happy ever after

I'm like the books I read
The songs I listen to
The places I travel
Ever expanding
Never ending
Full of hope
And mystery
And secrets of her own
Maybe hiding here and there
A few of others too
Doesn't mean you can read in me in numbered pages
Bookmarked and come back to, later
Or fast forward and listen to your favorite part again and again
Or scribble onto over the bark of a tree for to help trace you back your trail
No.
I'm the unaccounted stack of books
That you've read till date
That song of the 90s maybe
Playing on the radio after long
Bringing back a smile on your face
The place you've not been to in a while
And walking up to it again takes your breath away.

I'm the hope that keeps you alive
That one day, some day
It'll all make sense.

I play back certain memories
Like movies in my head
To remind me of the times
When I felt alive and not so dead

I always thought I had a horrific way with words, but put a pen in my hand and I'll write feelings I bottled up since a child.
I can't tell you why I love you with spoken words, but I have written endless late night poems just about how much I love your eyes.
I can't focus on repetitive work that is done in a math class for 30 minutes, but I'd sign up for a 3 hour English class in a heart beat.
I don't think all writers are sad, and always have some deeper meaning to everything they say, some are metaphoric, and some like to be blunt.
I, myself tend to use metaphors rather than being blunt because they sound so much better in my opinion.
I think everything sounds more meaning full in a stanza rather than a paragraph, and a book sometimes means more than a movie.
I guess I'm just a writer.