I wonder if I will ever understand
You destroyed everything good
You sit there and blame the world
Claiming you are "misunderstood"

You whine that no one gets you
Yet don't bother to explain
You won't let anybody in
You have zero right to complain

Do not say nobody has tried
To open doors to your mind
I personally wasted years knocking
Genuine thoughts I have yet to find

It is hard to accept what someone won't give
Even harder to listen to words they do not share
I tried but it is difficult to love
A person who's presence isn't actually there

You act like I am the one in the wrong
As if I would have jumped ship if you told the truth
My loyalty has proved to be enduring
Been dealing with the same ******* since our youth

It's unfair to make me feel guilty
For taking the course I thought was best
Know I'm sorry for hurting you
But I will not apologize for all the rest

You excel at playing victim
Done it so much you really believe
The universe is conspiring to get you
In denial of the fact you deceive  

My biggest frustration with your fake facade
Is the time you spend fooling yourself
I'm powerless to flip your tired ways
Expose flaws you forced to hide up on some shelf

Fairytale you began fearing is finished
The easiest failure to flee
Freedom pushes frantic fingers further from you
Life to you is but a fading foolish fantasy

Satisfied spinning us round and round
Still I followed your dizzy path
Sedated souls stumbling over obstacles
Sickening secrets revealed without a polygraph

Our twisted relationship takes the most room in my heart
The bitterest sweetest disappointment was you
Though fleeting, this beautiful love was rare
I just wish I knew reasons behind the pain you put me through

I write because I'm full to the brim,
With hot scorching emotions,
Unshed tears and
Unexpressed thoughts and ideas.


I write because I'm shaking with rage, unrequited love, guilt and regrets.


I write because
when all else fail to suppress these bubbling emotions,
Poetry is the silent scream that allows me to feel heard.

Walk a mile wearing my shoes
Then you can say you understand
What you can't see is that I need
More than just a helping hand

You don't know how it feels
To forever fail and fall
And spend hours wistfully waiting
For your favorite person to call

Close to breaking down
About to cave in and cry
Too doubtful to say Hello
Too afraid to say goodbye

Not quite fitting in here
A tad off, a bit out of place
Sad yet beautiful hazel eyes
Overshadowed by an ugly face

I don't know where I belong
Or which way I should go
But until you have walked the same path
Don't you dare tell me you "know"

They say that
I'm one of a kind.
You can only find
One of me.
This body, it
Thinks on its own.
This mind, it
Works alone.

Nothing makes sense anymore.
Living off dollars and cents,
These streets don't have
Much to offer.
If you're a copper,
It's my time to flee.
Why can't you leave me?
It's already hard to just be.
Difficult to live,
Move and breathe.
I feel like I'm drowning.

Voluntary Apnea:
The choice to not breathe.
A lack of oxygen
To the brain that
Causes a sensation
Of darkness
Closing in
From all sides.

They say that they’re
Here for the ride.
They don’t realize that
My pride is
At stake.
This smile
This laugh
This glimpse of hope.
It’s all fake.
I’m barely holding on
This rope,
Getting tighter by the minute.
In this world,
I don’t fit.
I gotta admit,
This life, it ain’t for me.
It’s so hard to commit.
It hurts so hard to just be.

I feel like
I’m wasting time.
My past,
Full of crimes.
Gotta climb
These mountains,
More losses than wins.
It’s so hard to just exist.
It’s not like I’ll be missed.
I’ll just be dismissed.

They say that
Silence is hard to come by.
So are good friends.
Because no message is
Still a message.
Relationships are a blessing,
But noise is a curse.
Life *****, but
I’m worse.
Let’s not deny the facts,
I watch your reacts,
The way that you see me,
But don’t acknowledge it.
It’s like you see the Holy Ghost,
But don’t wanna submit.
They say to defy the odds,
Prove the demons wrong,
Stick with the squads.
But I don’t belong.

You tell me that
I'm not lonely.
Feel free to show me.
Life's a show,
I go toe-to-toe with
This utopian reality;
Fatal vitality.
Why's everything gone bad?
Why am I going mad?
Show me what's right;
Show me the light.