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Candis Soul May 10
Left alone in the dust
They know my secret
Wide open and exposed
They swept me up
No one can understand my sorrow
My continued pain
I love so hard that no one ever come back for me
Turn around I am screaming
Love me back like I do you
Can’t you see I burn for you
Your passion is fiery
My heart is at a blaze
Can’t you hear my crying
Can’t you see my pain
Too hard to read
Too hard to get
Not enough to forgot where I stand
My pain is never ending
My heart is (forever) broken again
When will it end dear god
When will this end

Why cry for the same person...
Back in the sense that he had turned away from me...never turning around
Candis Soul Apr 20
How do you say I love you without words
How do you make that real
Is it the way you look at a person
The way they make you smile
The way you see through them
I am so confused by my ways
I love and then I don’t
I second guess myself in every way
I am wrong then I end up right
I just want to feel justified and loved
I want to feel unharmed by my feelings
I want to just feel
That happy warm feeling that everyone has....I want it too
I want someone to write a song about me
I want to feel pretty, I want to just feel
I feel so empty especially when I hear the same old news
Not harmful but just sad news that shouldn’t be news to me
The same old same old
No feelings of love just the looks, just the yearning
As we both remain silent
How love can jog the memory...******* up your soul. What’s next...torture and envy
Candis Soul Apr 5
As I walked over through the piles of people I came close
As I approached the love of my life I touched his back twice to get his attention
Looking to the left I could clearly see the sweat fall off other people
The faces of others.....so happy and drunk with love...literally
Finally, finally he saw me.
With our eyes finally gazing at each other and our hearts beating I felt his warmth as he hugged me
My soul was swept away by his loving eyes
As I began to talk he gazed at me and I spoke about 3 words then he just plunged his lips upon mine
5 seconds felt like eternity for me
It was as if all he wanted was that one last kiss. All he wanted was to feel my lips one last time
As we removed ourselves from each other I was still in his arms gazing up at him as he was looking down at me
I was taken back without a word
I could say nothing but stare up at him
His lip were warm and wet I could feel his spit in my mouth
May sound gross to you but glorious to me
Finally after realizing that we were staring too long he turned his attention to another and that was it
My last dance with my one true love
I don’t think I will ever have a moment like that again
The truth is I realized in that moment I still love him I never stopped
I will never love another like I love him.
Sparkles of beautiful butterflies in the wind
Cold and distant until that final kiss
Candis Soul Mar 2
Disappear on me
Just like the rest
Loyalty put to the test
My mind is blown in several places
My heart pierced into....
Beneath the wind of guiltless nights
She waits in the cold air
Dry with fright
As cold as night
Sitting in that cave alone
Waiting for the day you will go away
Tear drops soaking in the rain
For now the day has returned
Warming her lips
Feeling the love wrap around
One more glimpse curls her lips
The deep sounds of his voice is soothing
Not mistaking these vibrations
Sun goes down in this valley
Unsure again
Waiting for the return or like always
The end
Nothing lasts forever but you take in what you can as long as you can~
Candis Soul Feb 17
Sadness
I feel empty
The tears stream down
Plotting a victory
Nothing seems to take shape
The glass has shattered
My memories bring me guilt and shame
My memories drive my pain away
My memories make me feel awake
My memories forever a good thing

Peachy to the taste
If this makes sense
I have yet to understand true bliss
Love I felt years ago
Reciprocated no more
With a shhh and a blow
Taken away without lifting a finger
This is the most hollow I have felt
1, 2, 3, 4....all have left
Put down with a promise ring
Forever lost in the endless sea
My heart has skipped a beat and flown high
The difference is I am still down on earth
Wishing I could fly
Far from my agony, far from the dust
Nothing seems to matter these days
Why do I have such luck
Waiting for my big break but weighted down
You all see my smiling...inside I frown
I hate the world today
My life isn’t a mess
I just want my brain to take a small rest
I feel empty
The cave is full
My emotions, life, ego
My heart has once again fallen
Not the way you think
I ache with grief regretting my past everything
It is a wrap....nothing will bring you back after you take this step. Rings and fingers seems so silly....silly...so
Silly
Candis Soul Jan 23
Are you awake??? I feel like I am drowning. I am falling into a pool of tears. My heart feels empty as I write. What it wrong with me? Why do I do this? I am selfish with loneliness. I feel pain all around me. I don't want the pain to shape me. Somehow it seems to win. This pain is fulfilling. Why??? Not even I can explain. When will my tears dry up? I am furious with this out come. I just want to cry night and day. So my flooded pain can dissipate.
How I am feeling...
Candis Soul Nov 2018
Today was the first time I came close
I almost ended it in a post
Left to right I feel the fright
My pain is aching
What comes next
Inch by inch I take the test
Reeling with guilt and sorrow
I hate myself
Why can’t I be someone else
My body is a Perfect example of what not to be
Limp here limp there
I am disgusting
I hate myself all the time
Not just today
I want to slice my eyes open
As they don’t even work right
I am a walking disaster with nothing going for myself
I am so over it all
I cannot have what I desire I cannot have what I want
Someone is constantly judging me
With the looks of judgement
I feel condemned
Where is the honor in that
No...not even loyalty wins here
Who the hell is loyal these days
I hate myself
Not just today
Always
An older poem from the past I found and wanted to share. Not always okay I was suffering at this time...felt that way.
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