this is not a poem, it is simply the truth




I am sitting here looking pretty
I am sitting here no longer greedy  
I used to think that to love someone it meant that I needed to  remind them
remind them that I am still here and that I will always be here
looking back I can’t help it, I feel stupid
I watched too many movies, read too many books, wrote too many poems
Society put this idea of what love is in our heads and we run with it
to act obsessively
to be possessive
to be crazy in love
But why can’t we be sanely in love?
Why can't we give the person that we love space?
Why cant we meet each other in the middle?
I have a secret
the moment I let go, the moment I stopped reminding someone that my love is unconditional
I grew spirituality, mentality, emotionally
the universe treated me like a gift, a precious gift
it is sad to say but I felt like the moment that someone said they 'loved me'
they belonged to me
subconsciously I used to see them like an object, especially when I felt like I didn't deserve how they treated me
see my problem was that I was trying to find worth from someone else
I held on to people like a rope,
even after the break up
I realized that I will never be satisfy if I am not comfortable being open
but I couldn't be open
I was holding to a rope so tight that I needed both my hands, completely covering my heart
I broke the ropes
my life got better, this is not a poem this is a public announcement
No matter how much you love a person, no matter how much you gave them
that person does not belong to you
if they love you and if you love them
there will always be a middle
the middle is like nothing you could imagine
the middle is more about you
to be in the middle you need to sit pretty, you need to not be greedy
you need to put your legs up and enjoy yourself
you need to have a good time alone, and with new people
but most importantly you need to let go
letting go does not mean you love any less
because when two people are meant they are forever tied to each other
because love is strong
love unites people
and love heals
and sometimes even though we love, we need to not be together
and that is okay

There in the void of nothingness
I found myself stuck
With nothing to confess

With a prayer on my lips
To never love again
Cause nothing is for keeps

No more hate
No more love
I'll just be on wait

The end, no one knows
And this I suppose
Hoping no one would oppose

Read between the lines
And understand it
Surely, there are signs

Be it destiny or fate
We are not led
By neither love nor hate

it’s humid in the theatre
and we dance to a song about a circus
wearing character shoes on a slippery stage

between breaks we sit across from each other
she holds sylvia plath close to her heart
virginia woolf on her tongue

i feed her a peeled orange
while she looks out the window with languid eyes
where a bright blue sky waits for us

tomorrow we’ll have to come back again
but this time, a red picnic blanket
on green grass is when we’ll be alone

she’ll read me dickinson
while i feed her strawberries
and together, we’ll look up at the cloudless blue sky

The fact I can get it right away
The fact I can get it right away with the new version is better
The fact I can get it right away with the new version is better to be the first half of the year
The fact I can get it right away with the new version is better to be the first half of the year and I don't have a great way of the year

I feel like a lab rat, like I’m being watched
And observed and my every move monitored.
Maybe even more so I feel like a puppet,
With different people pulling me this way and that,
Trying to get me to side with them or with her or with him.
Why can’t I decide for myself?
Or even better, how about you work it out
On your own?
Do I need to constantly be that friend who you
Talk to each other about behind their backs?
Do you think I want to be that friend who
Constantly has to choose between pleasing
You or the other?
Some days I feel like taffy, and you two are little kids
Baking in the kitchen,
Bickering about something that won’t matter in ten minutes.
You don’t realize the damage you do to the taffy
As you stretch it beyond recognition.
If you break the taffy,
Do you get a prize?

Blinking middle age
word ***** is everywhere
Diagnose the flu