In my mind, i already forgot about you.
But why does my chest hurts so much?
Seeing you suffer because of another woman, why don't you look at me the way you see her?
Don't you know that you're the only one I love?
After all these years, you're still everything to me.
Till now I want to hold you tight
Turn around, I want you to see me
Yes, i am not pretty but i will give you everything you want
Call me crazy but i still love you
Why is it her? Why not me?
Does she kiss you better?
Is it because of ***?
You're so unfair, you know that i can also give that to you!
You never really understand how much I love you.
How scared I am to lose you.
How miserable my life is without you.
All this time I pretend to be great but then, I am only perfect with you.

You see, I write but no one listens
And it’s hard
In a world where so many do.
So many express.
Depress.
Not because they feel the world needs to understand them
Not because they throw a blanket of empathy around them
Not because the real world doesn’t appreciate their detail
But because it’s all a get rich quick scheme.
A sale.
But I don’t care for nepotism.
I don’t care if you’re waiting for me to like your ‘quirks’.
I don’t care that if I don’t you won’t like mine.
Because that’s how it works.
A trade.
A shame.
Someone always ‘sacrificing’ by being the first in the game of it
But that’s not a sacrifice
The sacrifice is not caring.
Liking something because you like it
Living life because that’s what you want to do with it
Freely sharing
Being a good person for no benefit.
Not out of fear that others won’t give you what you need.
Not out of fear it won’t let you be what you want to be.
Happiness is not found in the wants or greeds of others
But in listening to your own heart
And knowing
Deep down
What you do for you is all that matters.
Then when you’re loved by people for your truth
There is nothing better.

So be a good person
Listen to this work
Like it
Please
Because if you don’t
I doubt I’ll like yours

i’ve learned what it’s like to run my life.
eat fruit, exercise, pick-up the keys, do homework.
eat ice-cream, text all day, sleep as late as i want.

and now that life is no longer mine
-i’ll vanish the dark crescent moons under my eyes,
and lay in bed wondering once more.

i suppose, it is good for me
-i’ll look brighter, happier,
and my work will be done.

i’ve missed you so much
-the solidarity, the love,
the utter love.

and yet, in your absence i did something,
something precious and pure and perfect,
that you’ll never understand.

those late nights, tapping messages and sending them,
away to her lips,
and now she’s mine.

when you come back,
how will i hide this?
i can hide this.

more focus,
less time.
and yet.

you, and i we can’t be the same,
we can’t make these plans,
come to each other flushed and hungry.

and oh, i know, i know,
we’ll be busy.
but you, you’ll still cut a piece of my heart out.

It’s sad sometimes how desperate I can be
But what’s even sadder is-
Enough
CUT OUT THE POINTLESS SELF DEPRICATION

Leave the message
in your words
you whisper in my ear
Say the things
you want to say
Get it out
of your chest

Tell it to me
before you change your mind

Scientists made a lofty discovery
The universe continually expands and contracts
In the exact same manner absolutely
So we ultimately live the same lives for all eternity
So we devised a way to send a message to the next universe
A message that would stay in place
Even without the existence of space
A message that would survive time
Even through the end of our line
The message conveyed:
Don't make our mistakes
Correct our sins

Our universe ended
The new one began

The first humans mindlessly worshipped the message
Hearts of the willing sacrificed
They killed for control of its mystic power
It belonged to whoever owned the ivory tower
Until religions were developed
Although they were all somewhat derived from the message
People began to see the message itself as a pagan hieroglyph
An incoherent interference
They killed all that worshipped it
Senseless slaughter
Things got hotter
When people were finally intelligent enough to understand it
They saw all the things we did wrong
And how to avoid those mistakes
But the things we did that were wrong
Seemed much more convenient and easier
They used the weapons we told them not to make
And the ideas we told them to steer clear of
Swords became guns
Racism became genocide
Love became hate
More direct ways of imposing their vision onto the world
Foregoing empathy and compromise
They submitted to the fascism of their subjectivity
And were plunged into the Dark Ages
Steel ***** and chains
Followed by bullet rain
Humanity was lost and found
Humanitarians gagged and bound
People had to make mistakes for themselves
Until they decided to stop living in hell
Humanity collectively decided to follow the message righteously
After they saw hope for the future
Through the vision our message provided
And they realized they should write a message of their own