I don’t think there are any secrets to living a good life – I think that all it takes is to live consciously and honestly, knowing and loving yourself, and having faith that somehow it’ll all work out.

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ b
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⠀k
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀  ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀w
⠀ ⠀  ⠀⠀ e
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀ g
⠀o
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ n
⠀⠀⠀⠀s
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⠀ d
e
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ our hearts ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ f ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ i ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ l ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ l ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ i ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀ [ n ]
⠀⠀[ g ]⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ you
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀me
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀tomorrow
⠀w
⠀⠀ i
⠀⠀⠀ t
⠀⠀⠀⠀ h
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[ a kiss here ]
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ a
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ k
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ i
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ s
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ s⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀and
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ h⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀there
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ e
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ r
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ e⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀and
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ every w
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀h
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀e
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b. eautifu   l
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀o
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀[ g ]⠀⠀⠀worl(d)s
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Instead of the joy of coming into a port and stepping onto land, land
That is familiar and loving
In love
With having my feet home again
The earth below rejoicing
After so many months at sea

I am instead adrift.  There is unbroken horizon
Spread out vast all around me
My eyes ache in my head from only seeing the sun, only seeing
The flat blue waves

I am so ANGRY that I am unloved I am so ADRIFT without my home port
I call out and the wind pretends to be an answer
All I want is to be longed for
For someone to pace
For someone to watch the sea

Instead, two separate lives, one at sea, one at home.

I'm in love with a person who has severe social anxiety.
He does not come out of his cave unless he's got something amazing to show me.
And I am always on the run from where I live and all the noises, all the discomfort.
I'm not afraid to die, I hate my life.
I wish to be somebody, somebody that can reach you or just anybody.
But not me or my sister because she's fighting just as hard or even harder than me.
Just to live, and if I have to live I need to be with somebody that is worth surviving for.
Oh, come on, every day and night is still just getting out of hand and just not really worth it anymore.

But what can I do?
What can you do?
How can I love you?
What can I do for you?
What can we do.
How, what but....

Help, I just exploded and so I woke you when you were half asleep.
You said you didn't mind and so now we had another time to find how we relate.
We relate, relate too much.
I wish it was just me dying and miserably lonely.
But the monster had to bite you now too and it even figures that it has some real and pretty very serious kind of catching up to do.
On you, my sister and so now you're fighting just as hard or even harder than me.
Just to live, and if you have to live you need to be with somebody that is worth surviving for.
Oh, come on, every day and night is still just getting out of hand and you wonder if it really is even worth it anymore.

But now what can you do?
What can I even do?
You know I love you.
What can it do for you?
What can we do?
How, what, but...

I love you.

I'm in love but I can never love you like I wish to.
I love you but I can never be there for you.
But, what, how...

I really really really really loooove, love, love, love, will always love, will always be connected to....
Will always be in love and will always really love, love, love, yes I really always looooove you!!!

One last time
A final kiss
An eternal love
A night of bliss
I have one night
Before I die
A perfect way
To say goodbye

I never believed in happy endings
Because they never really seemed to exist
Not until I met you
Not until you made me believe, and I couldn’t resist
 
Resist you and me. We were so impossible
Never did I know, I’d love you with all my heart
And you’d love me too, for who I am
But now that we do, I can delightedly say that you are my life and not just a part.

Some live in houses that their love turn into homes while others live in mansions empty but for silver and servants. Some hear voices angelic, transcendent, while others listen to lies of presidents and pretenders. Some feel love so deeply for those of us who suffer silently while others feel hate for all because they hate themselves. Some touch tenderly those they love while others hit with words and fists. Some will give a helping hand while others simply step over homeless bodies on sidewalks in December's cold. What all should know is that we are one, and as Donne once wrote many years ago, when one dies, we are all the less.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

A fancy tuxedo and a black leather glove for each hand, could this be Patrick Bateman? or punk in a band?
no, it's Digital Man.
Yes a real man, with a screen head of course, would you look at him this strangely if he was a horse?.
He just goes about his day, and people judge and take pictures of him in each and every way.
He just wants to be treated like everyone else, and not put on display like some little mouse.
Why is society so blind and judgemental and cannot see, that I'm just like him and he's just like me?