The year that’s passed:
a watershed year,
a milestone year,
a rebirthed-via-fire kind of year.

A peeling of layers year,
a levelling year—
with flaws and faults,
an emotions-on-full kind of year.

A year of intensity,
a year of grief.
A down-on-my-knees
praying for peace kind of year.

A rebuilding year,
a learning year.
An emotional-resilience-required
kind of year.

This is the year
that it’s all been here.
In fullness, rawness, a
real, genuine kind of year.

Let the lessons be learned
for the next and the brighter year.
Let some laughter echo
into the lighter year.
Let us care for each other
to meet this with love, not fear.

Happy New Year, whether you’re far or near.

We stand firm.
Striving to become the light that shines another day.
We hold true to that sense of warmth.
Through the wind we may stumble.
But we regain our footing.
Finding that our strength lies in each other.
A place where it'll never grow stale, or lose taste.
I rarely say it.
But I miss you, kneeling before I pray.
We stand firm not because of what we can see, touch, or feel.
You are the day I look most forward to.
We stand firm because you've given me something which I can believe in.
Unconditionally

this time last week,
i was curled up in a ball on my bed
trying to get through my latest
mental breakdown.
i did get through it, just like ones before last week.
i'm in a spot in my life where
stepping outside onto the deck feels...
fresh and awakening, rather than debilitating.
going to my class felt new and inspiring,
rather than repetitive.
seeing you after waiting all week felt
euphoric & satisfying.
i'm at a point in my life where
i can start to pinpoint where things started going wrong.
so now, i'm making them right.
i'm thankful for it.
i'm thankful for everyone who helped
me realize that there are
things to be thankful for.

Hope alights like a new dawn
Springing forth on young legs like a fawn.
We are yet in darkness and despair
So, unseeing, we are not yet aware
Of the light that lies just beyond.
Before too long a new day has dawned.
Hope flies on the wings of tomorrow
Where we begin to let go of our pain and sorrow.
A single ray of light in the darkest night can pierce,
And a single small flame can burn all the more fierce.
Like a river will eventually find its way to the sea,
We follow our hope to the source that makes our hearts free.
Brighter days are soon to come;
Spreading hope to everyone.

Amidst the pounding thunder
And towering waves
Lit in the night
By searing lightning
A small ship sails

The sailor gazes back
To distant horizons
Not quite seeing
But feeling
His former home

As winds scream and tear
And waves crash and drag
He battles onward
Through tempest
To unknown lands

Decisions made long ago
For risk and fortune
Over calm simplicity
Run swift as the howling gale
Through rain blinded eyes

Easy winds and calm seas
A life of lazy tranquillity
A life forsaken
To battle tempest fury
And still unregretful

dredge in mud
knee deep
but sky high

trudge the sludge
plod the crud
and form tracks

nearly sighted
look far
to reach

growth will follow

I'm freezing cold as my
insides burn,
my body lapped up by
flames of frustration and feelings of failure;

lonely in the most crowded of rooms,
fighting to find meaning in a city full of answer keys,
the most educated of the inexperienced and the
least successful of the most ambitious;

adventuring in ambiguity,
road tripping with no map,
the drive is long, the horizon lost in the sea of darkness;

sleeping passes time,
but the past's vivid dreams seem harder to find;

where am I (fromnowgoingheadedstranded)?

2 years, 5 months, 19 days.

That's the last time a man
Looked me in my eyes
And told me
He loved me.

Nearly one thousand days have passed
Since someone looked at me
Like I was his whole world.

And now I'm at the point
Where I wonder if I'll be alone
Forever,
Not like the cliches,
The woman who chooses a career over a family,
Or the crazed lady who clings to her cats...
No, just a girl
Growing into a young woman
Who doesn't even remember
What it feels like to have someone
Love her.

Not sure if I've really ever even been loved,
At least not like it happens in the movies.
I've continued to pine hard,
Chasing the affection of conflicted souls
Who never bother to appreciate me,
Those cliched types who are
"Too damaged" to really love someone.

Sometimes I wonder
If I'm gonna be able to accept love
If I finally find it,
My fragmented soul having grown
An allergy to kind gestures,
Compliments,
Or anything that actually might be deemed
Indicative of affection.

Slowly sinking down to the baseboards,
Rotted and gnarled roots
Clinging deep to the underground,
My body dissolved into an anterior realm of
Cynicism
As I grasp the realities of my own
Unrequited love,
My yearning to demand more,
******* and twisted with my
Fear to stop settling
And actually obtain
"better."

2 years, 5 months, 19 days.
I'm just hoping it doesn't take me
As long
To look at the
Golden brown eyes that I
See in the mirror and tell me
I love me
Enough to not care who
Else might.