Hello darkness, my old friend.
It's been a while.
Can you feel the tension, the pain.
The blood has started pouring again.
The blade hit my thigh and drip, did the drops go.
The depression came back, harder than it did before.
Sudden, like an electric shock.
Sitting all alone in the darkness.
My body feels numbs, but my wounds hurt, but not as much as the pain inside.
Feelings of intensity, emotion of density.
Fragile and lost.
Soulless and  incomplete in these dark stages I encounter.
Drag me along to the pits of the underground, where I belong.
Burn me alive whilst I ache in torment and misery.
Banish me, whilst the claws rip me apart, inch by inch.
I am exposed, while hiding my feelings is something I'm used to.
But, you opened me, and there's no sewing me back together.

you linger in my head
like a fresh spritz of perfume,
wafting around my headspace
and pervading my senses,
I am utterly consumed by you.

a lasting portrait that sways in your head
like the pendulum in a clock swinging every second
it was tormenting you
and— i lingered     still.
even though i’ve long left
it seems like my heart was still there
my mind trying to cut off strings of attachments
my heart clung onto
both of us saw each other at the corner of our eyes         again.
yet we look down and walk away
not even giving a smile but a “bye”
you didn’t know your feelings
and up till now u still don’t
but i did.    
—from the very start i knew.
but yet knowing you, like i knew myself
i still expected a nicely wrapped gift
when u had let me down.

Beyond bread and wine

ineffable.

one year later, I step into this in awe of

fullness,
right?
The quest mark
symbol of the snake facing west or east
¿
standing on the point that sets the plain

so much meaning, so little time.

that's mortality, not life.

quest marked.
a point made
whose horizon meets mine
vanishing point of no return

death may be that idea.
beyond that
now

which lie will you allow?
which lie called lie is illegal? Be lief being
thy will being done by you
on earth whether
or not.

Will you let the liears lie? Lying ears?

was re a son in this mad man's stutter static

tune to tomorrow nonono live for today nonono

die, or don't --do or die

some old guy just looked you in the eye

winked. "zero beat, and wait for the signal."

[a cameo by Radioman of Judging Angels and
Unmazing Grace game fame, after the silence]

My feelings still linger
Towards you.
Still attached
To this idea of a what if-
That will never come true.
I know I confessed a thousand times
And
I know that
These scars on my heart will stay the same.
I also know that
How you view me will stay the same.

I can't help but hold on to a what if.

to be
to yearn
to love
to learn
to live
to linger
to leave

You never leave
I have you by the ear tip
Waiting
Lingering
Like a child's favorite story
Like its never gonna end

I can feel the feverish rush
Of your spins
And the calculous miracles
That we'd let in

You're never gonna leave me
Because you're forever emblazed
In my head

Because anytime your available
A thought of your body touches
My nerve endings
And I don't know whether
To answer or to dance

Because let's face it
You've got me
With tongues tips
Tasting forever happiness
And multiple desires
Ride off of expectations
Onto a cloud like Nine

Don't worry
We'll make it
Out alive
Or will we

Drowned in each
Others potions
Until our tongues
Melt together
And we become one

One touch
One word
Away from eternity