I am writing to you this last postcard
And a part of me I am leaving inside,
See you just wanted me to depart
I 'm finally fading with the secret night.
The snowstorm is furious my dear
But I assure it heads to your way till sunrise,
I will exist but I won't be near,
Like starlight of the distant sky.
The paperweight could barely stop the pages,
To break the walls of fault
They seek for sea to drown of rage,
And let the chapter to halt.
For once I thought you 'll cling to my back
To say no to goodbye,
The only trait that you ever lacked
Is that you know but you lie.
As I stroll down the untrodden street
Reaching towards its end
The only one I didnot meet
Was my soul left to mend.
In the dingy room with all other letters
The postcard from me you will find,
And you wouldn't make things any better
Until you know it was in it ,I left myself behind.
Sure this will be the last postcard
For all my power to write is gone,
I 've justified always and it has been hard
But my case will remain as late as dawn.
And If you look for me at some place
The distance will I fear,
I wish a new love you will embrace
If it is with you , I find me near.

I blinked, Time winks with a smile.
He holds my hands steady and slow;
Guides me through the Cosmos, the
Only constant I've ever known. See,
Some will come, and some will go;
But this life is mine alone. And how
Beautiful are the things he has shown?

i breathe you out to breathe myself in,
i love the sun, i love the rain, i love wind,
the pain i feel is what is setting me free,
it hurts, it kills, i feel sick, i feel weak,
everytime i focus on you, i'm not focusing on me,
i want you, i want you to save me,
but you cannot save me, i need to save myself,
i feel sick, i feel like i'm going to be sick,
if i *****, will that get rid of the pain,
i'm shaking, i can't breathe, i miss you,
but i'm missing an even bigger part of me

i want to be sick, i want to let it all out, my stomach hurts, my soul is being ripped apart, i feel ill,
i cannot accept you because i do not accept me,
i want your touch to heal me, i want your kisses, i want to feel your love, i just want to hear your reassuring words and your voice to calm the hurt,
but i can't rely on you anymore, i have to be by myself, i have to do some work

i want to cut you off, i want to cut you out,
like a disease in my body, i want rid of you,
i want the memories to fade and i want the hurt to stop, i want to lie down, i want to give up

i thought loving you would mean i would find myself, but that couldn't be further from the truth, please don't let me go, i can't handle this pain, i can't handle losing you forever again

i know i have to go to the darkness to find the light,
it's a tiny little photon of light, but it'll be my guide, i keep wanting you, oh how my heart aches,
i pine for your touch to soothe me again, but i do not love myself, i am so weak but this too shall pass

you were my bestfriend and now you are no longer my lover,
i have to love myself now, even with the sickness in my body, i will find the strength, attachment made me believe it was love, i'm just sorry it wasn't

you have shown me so much but i am still lacking,
i am here for you,
but i cannot cover this up and carry on like nothing has happened,
we do not work as a team when we lack love for ourselves,
i'm hurting, please pain get out

i'm letting you go now like a child lets go of a balloon, i may want the idea of you back but this pain made me accept it is over forever.

Cannot lie,
I felt like a ***** when I said good-bye.
Knives cut into my flesh and I bled out in your name,
but *******, did you write me off with a mutual slip of solitude.

Your voice remained dead sea still, calm as a frozen over lake,
but so ******* cold  I couldn’t feel my legs.
You told  me, if it ever came to that, you’d be understanding,
so comprehensive that I wouldn’t feel a thing.

*******, you were supposed to fight for me,
call my name, tell me you love me and that we can get better.
You slacked off and forgot to call me,
when I wept in my own bleeding palms,

You put me on hold.

So you could tell your friends you were too busy to have fun.
As if hearing my lips quiver through a phone was so much hell for you.

You were supposed to object to my stance,
tell me you’d get better, that you’ll remember more,
and put me first.
Maybe a let’s talk this out first, I love you too much.

Because when you answered that phone,
I still loved you.
You never fought, you let me do this so easily,
my hands shook and my ribs rattled and you said,
Okay, I get it. Have a nice life.

That’s what hurt the most, and the stabbing still lingers,
because you quit, long before that phone call.

Now, I feel bad for you,
not because I left,
but because you let me go.

I am learning to love my reflection.

I have new hands,
old calluses have surfaced from trying to drag you around with me
making sure your limbs are all attached to my backside.
Pulling my hair to reveal the secrets I am hiding from you,
you cannot harvest my thoughts from kissing me
let me catch you washing your hands every time I ask you where you’ve been.

My new hands have the desire to remove your hand prints off my sides.
I can see myself.

I have brand new eyes,
and they see through the smoke.

I’ve bathed in the sorrows of every heartbreak,
but this time I’m drinking the water.

Busted my ceiling so I could breath,
let the air infiltrate my lungs and I was reminded of what it is like to love what I already own.

me.

Tear stains through my makeup...
To wake up like this
isn't bliss, it's torture!
on the border line of insanity
Couldn't care less about your vanity
In this moment
I am broken
Broke in two
Broke into my love bank
Empty tank. Sad case.
No love for a fool
For a tool... is what I'm mistaken for
So I lure
forward
Watch my dear
You watch my rear
as I walk away
You will NEVER get another taste
Of me
Delightfully
I'm not afraid
I've played
this game for waaaay to long..
And as time ticks
My mind slips
Into an abyss
And it's tragic
To let go of this
Through your finger tips
I continue to slip
So far down.....
Out of town.
Out of sight.
Right, out of my mind.
Behind this glass of protection
No special detection
of harm needed
The fear was seeded
When you deceived me
no more crying
You stoped trying
So forget tears
I'm a warrior
And you're even sorrier than I expected
I don't regret this
But I AM done!
Like grapes in California sun,
Bouts of drought in the west,
I wish you the best... in life
This is no might
To my delight
I know you can tell
After all of this hell
I'll sail...
Baby this is farewell.