you turn to me but i'm not there
i'm drowning
i told you but you couldn't listen
the thoughts won't make sense
none are clear
they're surrounding
encompassing and unnerving
if i take one last breath
would you notice the body
folded neatly
lying under the baggage
you placed on my back
i can no longer support myself
but you won't take the load
stuck inside your head
and i'm stuck with you
if i stop speaking
i'll stop breathing
so i'll carry on until my
fingers are shaking too much
from lack of oxygen
or sometimes too much
i can hear my breathing
speeding up faster
ready to take off and
fly away with what's left of
my soul and spirit
that you didn't crush
still going as i recognise
the dizzy daze i'm falling into
waiting to collapse in
on myself for maybe
the last time
for a while at least
we both know it won't happen
because of you
i couldn't however much you
argue and scream and shout
or maybe it's because of her
calming my mind
ok i have to stop now
i told you it would get too much
once again i say
i'm sorry
remember me
or the old me
if you can
it wasn't your fault

The moment I ground myself and let Go,  

When I become a realist and Grow

Realise it shouldn't Be...

Is the dreaded day I silence the fraction of hope found in Me.

So impossible Tuesday.

Awaiting decay.
As orange blossom.
In tidal pools.
When it's just right.
Change, reminds me.
Going creaking in the night.
Desperate woods.
In hallways.
But only.
Thank you.


Garrett Johnson.

They say the fastest thing in the world is light
Then how come you are never in my sight?
I cant help but beg you to please slow down
But when I finish, youre already out of town
I cant even tell, as you slip right by
Thats how it'll be, 'till the day I die

I hope that you choke on the promises that you made me.
Every word,
every plan,
every reassurance that you'd always be there,
every claim that I was yours and yours alone,
I hope that they suffocate you the way that your misplaced love sits on my lungs like a brick, sinking deeper and deeper into my soul with every breath I take and every beat of my heart.

I'll miss you always,
I'll want you always...

but I might just hate you always, too.

I hope that when I walk away,
you'll understand that I am leaving
not to hurt you,
but to save myself
from being hurt by you.

Look,
Leaves and petals
Are starting
To fall,
And slowly
Your eyes,
And lips,
Makes me
Want to stay.