it's morning and i'm awake
count up all my pills to take
eyes are bleary
bones still weary
but it's morning and I'm awake.
no breakfast for me
no coffee or tea
i'm still tired
wish i was wired
i'm running late
for a not-very-important date

My body is so tired
I'm exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.
I just want a break
Is that too much to ask?
Apparently so, because
My brain is wide awake
And it wont let me sleep

Get ****** brain.
I'll just be tired and grumpy tomorrow
And that way everyone will get ****** at me.
Its not like you care is it? No.

You dont care.
You scream at me every time i eat something with sugar in it.
You whisper horrible things in my ears when i'm alone.
You convince me to hurt myself so i can feel something, after you've shut down all my other emotions.
You make me fall for people too late and too often and not enough.
You tell me i'm not enough.

*******
I just want to sleep
Stop putting these thoughts in my head and leave me alone.

I know i need sleep
But im really not that tired
And also, **** school

You said it first
and showed it first
and took it away
Ruining the most beautiful parts
the most tender parts
the most sacred parts
of Us

You saw me sitting vulnerably
and you took your strong
yet deceptive hand
and plunged it deep within me
You found my heart
and kept it as your own
making me believe you were keeping it safe
but quickly I discovered
you took it to destroy it
and add my heart
to your collection
of broken women

You broke me
and left me with an insatiable need
to be further wanted
and further tormented
Now I sit here
2 years later
At 3 a.m.
and I still crave
Your Love

1am
when my eyes are tired,
not yet ready to close.
My body has melted into the couch.
And my mind still races through a haze.  

2am
at the frosted window.
When the lights are out
in sleepy neighborhoods.
The bars emptying onto the street.  

3am
and I should be snuggled in bed.
But the glow of the monitor reflects in my lenses.
Time slows
and so do I.

4am
and words spill into my brain
and onto the page.
Will they make sense tomorrow?
Do they make sense now?

5am
hits me like a brick.
It's not poetic.
It's not romantic.

6am
is for the work worn
and the insomniacs
trying to pass the time unscathed.

I only wish to be by your side
I wish for it every single night,
but you didn’t bring me along for the ride,
infact you didn’t take notice until I was out of sight.

Bury me alive,
don’t leave me at the door.
I’ve been stretching this drive
down to the corner store.
I’ve been chain smoking,
and breathing the cold air skies,
I’ll tell you that I’m joking,
and if you cover my ears, I’ll cover your eyes.

I’ve been trying to catch the ocean,
but ended up drowning in her eyes.
I’m stashing away every emotion,
and she accuses my sentiment for lies.
I want to go on a joyride,
I want to drive away but not to hide.
I want to go on a joyride,
but I’m feeling alone and you’re not by my side.
So I’ll turn up the music,
and ignore my pride.

Travelling the dark street
of that old quiet ghost town,
the ferret was very discreet,
but warned of us of the bear and to slow down.
Losing track of time and missing our exit,
with conversations holding a life of their own.
I’ll remind you so you won’t forget it,
now I’ll drive that highway completely alone.

Bury me alive,
oh wait, you made the shallow grave.
I’ve been stretching this drive,
it’s pitch black but I remind you to be brave.
I’ve been listening to our favourite song,
the lyrics I easily memorize.
Eliza Dushku’s turn was wrong,
but if you be my ears, I’ll be your eyes.

I know your measurements; head to toes,
and you’re perfect just the way you are.
You know I love how you look in my clothes
when you sit beside me in my dark car.
And all the streetlights went out
as we silently took a joyride,
it’s not unusual for me but I have my doubt,
that it wasn’t amplified by her by my side.

Hear me
Lend me your soul
Bear my heart, audio
You are replete under my spell
True Sound