cinnamon tea in a chipped
thrift store mug
a minute ago
it was too hot
and now it's too cold

here and there
fast and then faster still
it all happened so quickly

i barely had the chance to blink
it all happened before i even
had the chance to stop and think

but the red light on 6th street
lasts a minute longer at midnight
and that's where i usually
come into my remembering

sometimes revelations hit you
less like a brick and more like a burn
it's a kind of hurt that stings longer
than the bruise of the initial blow

i guess you never know
when the last time
becomes the last

it happened so fast
you forgot all the times
you ached so ardently
you thought you'd become
symbiotic with the pain

but the idyllic recollections always linger
like scalding hot shower steam
hanging around a winter room
you illusioned elation because
it felt better than the truth

it was the last time
but somewhere deep down
you already knew
you held the feeling in your gut
begging for countered proof

you've unfolded the understanding
became transparent with the pattern
joy is punctuated by brevity
the very reason it tasted so sweet
on the tip of your tongue

time follows a template
of give and take
the longer you live
the more natural it becomes
to see your fair share of loss

and you know everything ends
you know the swift current of this
breathtaking experience in space
is the temporariness of existence

but why does everyone leave

a minute ago they were here, now
the sureness you cultivated is ripped to shreds
and thrown like confetti in the wind
and love is carried away
like it never held any weight at all

the wheel spins,
the last time
becomes the last
and yet again
you become just another piece
of someone else's past

Ok love hear me out, I know it doesn't matter anymore but I am writing this message when I have no hope left or whatsoever. You have your reasons to be I had mine. For a time I thought by forgetting the past we can move on, these past days felt exactly how I wanted our relationship to be. I never said you or made you realise how much hurt was I at times and I was okay with it because I had you and I will always put you first over anything even if it means work, yes work and at times you knew how much you meant to me over anything. I find myself in the scariest places I have put myself through the hell of trying to win this losing relationship but i feel it's been going nowhere at all as you have made up your mind cause that's what you asked me, in mind it was okay if I lose. there's no purpose in living i feel when I can't even feel anything I have been dead inside before and I know how worse does that feel, lately my emotions are detached and i feel tangled up like wires, chaos within. Our call that night, thank you you were there with me but that's how I feel exactly every moment, dead.
On that video call where we didn't talk I was looking at you and I don't know what your eyes usually tell others but right then you gave away a secret I learnt to say "I know". I will be always be with a tagline 'Let me feel again, Anything. Everything. Please. I will take it all.' and you understood me. 2020 has been a struggle as you can say, but for me, particularly, it's been a struggle everyday. I believed in you with my everything and I don't blame you for anything. Last time I needed time I sat in a place of peace and sweetness, and my thoughts about you and us became poetry but, the moment I came back it was too late and you were gone. Love, I write this to say that I love you and always will, and to prove it, I could end myself but  it's not that I'm scared, but i would end myself, not knowing, if you smiled, when you knew, i loved you more than myself. Love, I have to thank you for everything everyday no need to go into detail and you know now without explaining I am what I feel. Currently empty, like a plant left over. Love, you are my sunflower, warm, yellow blooming joy infectious as sunshine which puts a smile over my face, golden in the light and my perfection. No matter what you will be growing through my heart, warm with happiness and love. You were my sigh of relief and now you're gone and I’m sitting here gasping for air. My eyes have dried with the tears I've cried and now I am empty, I've got nothing to give and now I am done, I've got nothing to look upto. I'm fine, if not completely at the moment, I will be, sometime later. I love you and take care, Yours soon to be unknown.

Take the trail,

footsteps in the mist of a thousand misheard voices

follow the singing memories as they fade around each corner

time has left you on this journey through the mountains of your life

you go ahead, rest for a bit

enjoy the breeze and the pretty yellow childhood flowers

for you the walking is done

I forget what my face looks like
Because my face is always in the Facebooks,
Poking my head through other people's lives
Wishing I could be invited to.
I suffer from this curse
Of being picked last in everyone's mental gym class.
They normally pick the stronger ones,
the Foxier ones, the ones who wink at them
With quick glances across the gym.
We, my friends, are the easily forgotten ones.

i thought
so much
about it all
this and that
too many of this
too little of that
too many thoughts
and so little eyes
to see it all
unravel.
i need-
i want-
others to see
my random words
of nonsense..
to feel noticed
for my mind.
i think
i'm ready
to leave
my old thoughts here..
to create something better
somewhere else but here.

-
Excuse me Miss
May I please have this last dance
Before your favourite song ends
We can take it slow
I will hold you close if you give me the chance
-
Excuse me Miss
May I please have this last dance
Pardon my stance
I'm not really good at romance
Practice makes perfect
But this is my only chance
-
Excuse me Miss
May I please have this last dance
Before your man comes
And I'll never get to see you again
You're looking for something different
I could tell when we both stole a glance
To be honest
You have me in a trance
I am yours
But only for one last dance
-
Lowkie®