Venus and a sun-dog in the setting day
a signal that everything's gonna work out,
okay?

botanist at the table behind a wall of succulents
telling me fungi
stuff
and the way they fixate
the soil
for plants to grow and eat
okay.

summertime there are no fields to plow
we're all off anyways
searching for happiness in a kiss
in the promise
of a long-lasting relationship

titanic orders, but that's only a myth
to Smith
maybe not the rest
they're blessed
with that floating boat of happiness

a mean end, that stuff
no means of ending that
they laugh and dance
a quirky ritual
I still cry at the loss
of innocence

goodbye kendred soul,
pass off the torch to a new you,
and bit a sweet adieu
to you,
in the way we both behaved
stumbled our way
out of the garden
and on into the earth.

For what it's worth,
I see he'll be
everything you dreamed
he could.

I don't know what is true,
I dont know what is false.

Every day I wake up,
breath the air and look up;
As I see the sky above,
I wonder if its all I've got.

What if things weren't as I see?
Could they be lies composed by me?
How can we trust ourselves these days?
How can we trust our human ways?

People are selfish, people are cruel;
All these people just want to rule.
So what if Im like them, what if I'm dull?
What if my brain just want to be 'cool'?

I'm tired of questions, I'm tired of thinking;
I just want the truth to finally sink in.
What am I feeling? Who am I really?
These endless questions forever spinning.

And this poem has no ending,
Like the life I keep in question;
Will I reach a true conclusion?
Or will my life be left on pending?

you know how when you run a huge race and you see the finish line and get so happy
you want the end to come so fast

yeah,
thats me with life

And when I met that girl in San Francisco
Off a dusty little pier
with rotting wood
and squawking seals
And screaming bayside wind

She caught me off-tropics
and danced with the grace
of a palm tree
lines between the quaked
concrete
off telegraph avenue
On an obscuring Sunday morning

and no
she didn't go
to church or any silly thing
like a temple or synagogue
She said those were no places
for god

God was the trees

We smoked cigarettes and got off to each other's
carcinogenic practices
oxidizing a little faster in conjunction with hopeful
Formaldehyde
Deriding the formalities
of small talk and trivialities

She liked her guitars with nickel-wound strings
I with nylon
But I couldn't play songs
that sounded any good with them
while she could
and did.

and girl did it ever sound good

She'd laugh at the contests on the radio
while we drove on a half-moon
to half-moon
full and whole of ourselves
We'd stopped in the lobby of a cheap motel
And waltzed to background
muzak
wacked out of our minds
Sniffing in deep huffs of subliminal
divinity
Understanding
loving
that mind-numbing
monotony

muzak...
ppsh.
Who ever really listened to that?

And then she left
at the end of one fine winter day
in a cloudless sky I waved
watched her plane
skip off
towards the edge of a pale blue horizon
back south
to warmer climes
to wherever she truly stayed
The tugging on my heartstrings
chimed grotesque in
precise
D minor.

I wish I was back to the times when I knew you. When I knew everything about you. When I knew who you wanted to be. When I knew what was happening in your life.  When I knew you, genuinely, true to life, in real-life.

It's been a couple of years. Not much has changed,   your eyes were watering, but you dared not say you were sad, broken and let down.

Now I don't know if you are true to me, true to what you say, what you show to me.  If you looked happy I won't know if you really were sad, unhappy.

Now I am doubting if I did my job. If they were secrets you kept from me since the very start of our adventure together. Maybe it is for the better.

I don't know you anymore. This I am sure.

I glossed over the cracks
that kept the illusion intact
sweet vapid intention
which was never intended for annihilation
just a purpose
that may have been beyond our comprehension.
I waited for the neural itch to decode
I waited for the dream state to dissipate
after I found the roadmap in the scars you could never hide.
We never had a direction
yet we embraced the fluidity that allowed us to exist in a vacuum
of possibility
where we forget the name of every ghost that lingers on the periphery.