1998, I came to the world
A sweet little girl
That later would be the opposite
But I was still so talented
Playing guitar and piano
Like my father did
I was holding his hand
Until I was 9 and moved to another land

My dreams and hopes were left behind
I couldn’t see a future
I was totally blind
And I began to grow and cry often
And when I turned thirteen
I was so lost
My skin couldn’t no more stay clean
Bleeding like a horror movie in the screen

I started running away
I had no more reasons to stay
I was only there to cause problems
My nights became days
And my nights became helpless

I know it sounds selfish
But I just didn’t have
I didn’t have any reason to keep fighting
And I’m the same self-destructive behavior
I kept spinning

When I was 18, I moved to my father’s house
I couldn’t even handle my own thoughts
My memories from I was 14 were little dots
I was living stuck with my voices
Hurting myself
And being enable to make my own choices

I only wish I could have made my family proud
But I couldn’t stand in my own feet
When I was already nineteen
A simple task I couldn’t complete
I wish I had made you happy
But I will always need help when myself
I have to defeat

I should have been doing better now
Get over my mom
And make my daddy proud
And I hope someday I will
Somehow

A girl cries out in the night
A mother rushes to hold her in her arms.
The older sister in the same room stays silent.
She watches her mother coo the little baby to sleep
She waits for her to leave before getting up once more.
She looks out the window, the sky covered in smog.
"I want to see the stars."
She opened the window and climbed to the ledge.
She was six years old.
Sitting there and breathing, the little girl watched the smog
for signs of the little white sparkles
stuck in the sky.
The baby started crying again.
Her mother came to comfort her.
She didn't notice the girl's empty bed
Only the window. She shut it, locked it tight.
The little girl wasn't scared.
She brought herself standing and looked down below.
"Bye Mom!"
The window flew open too late.

As I watch the kids, being fetched by their parents
I frown and looked away, as I got fetched by my driver
I quietly sat down and had to endure the silence
my misery worsens as i hear kids laughter

I was trained to be an heir
with everything on my plate
I'm grateful and happy for it
but I jus't didn't want this fate

As i ate on the kitchen table..
i only saw a note from my dad
"I'm going out for awhile, tell your mom"
Do i have the right to be mad?

"MOM I HAD ENOUGH!"
tears beginning to escape my eyes
my mom looked at me confused
as to why i started to cry

mom, dad, I don't need fame
mom, dad, I don't want your money
What i want, is something you can't buy...
"I just want you... to love me"

and thats what they have to realize...
that something..money can't buy

I grew up in a small town just like you,
Wandering the streets with nothing to do.
We had dreams of beautiful chaos
Only stopping to laugh off our lives,
Don't talk about the issues that keep us up at night,
Standing broken but whole in the right light,
Standing whole seen through broken eyes.

Remember the times we hit the highway
Flying fast, transitioning from the 81 to 80
Hoping we might just run out of gas
Giving us a reason to not turn back,
While listening to all the anthems
That made us miss a childhood we never had.
With tears in your eyes,
you turned the music down low
Meeting your solemn gaze
You begged me not to take you home.

I grew up in a small town just like you
Until the night we didn't turn around
In search of something new

Writing music is the sweet pear dream
I plucked from a choir in springling years.
Back then I also dreamt of mermaid kisses
and reality television.
Why would a beast wish me music now?