Raindrops falling
Onto your skin;
running down
Your cheekbones,
Your lips,
Your chin

I wanna be one,
Just to touch you
A tiny bit
Just to taste
A little bit of you

I am so jealous
Of that little raindrop
Like nobody can be

And I am finally happy
As you wiped him away

But realizing it was a tear
That ran down your beautiful face

it hurts
a little
whenever
they compare
me to my
sister

i know she's
artistic
and can float
her brush on
her canvas,
she fills it
with colors
and shapes
that i wish
maybe i could
do something
like that as well
she's got a way
with her words
that make me
feel poisoned
if only i was
as good as her
with her brush
and her practice
if only i
mastered that too
but i grew up
too soon

yet here i am
painting as well
but my canvas
is black and white
my canvas
is the same shapes
repeating on and on
my canvas is forbidden
and unheard of to
my parents
my canvas isn't dead
but its alive,
breathing and swelling
she walks out
of fire even if it hurts
she might burn down
as she goes but
she's the best power
that i know
and just because
no one knows about
my art
it doesn't make
it any less special
because my
art is for
myself

My best friend was mine
Before the snooty girl stole her away
With the lure of a stupid fashion show instead of doing gymnastics on the bars
During recess
Like I wanted
What’s wrong with gymnastics!?

My first crush was mine
Before he got a BOY best friend
And then he picked HIM instead of ME to cut the cake
He was mine first!

She brought in a dream catcher
To class
I watched it’s beautiful blue beads and
Elegance
As it’s feathers were softly ruffled by the wind
But it was hers, only her nightmares were blocked
I have nightmares too!

They like her more then me
They laugh at what she says
They don’t care what I say
People look at her
They listen to her
Not me

In math class
She always wins the games
And gets all the candy
She’s the fastest
Cause she’s got all her facts memorized
Faster than me!

Everything
Everyone
Else

has best friends
get their crushes
has awesomer stuff than me
are cooler than me
are smarter than me
are better than me
are better than me
are better than me
are-
...

My god,
what a distorted perception of the world I’ve had!

You’re a rose among many thorns
They say
Well let me tell you
They’re wrong.

I’m not beautiful
And I’m not precious
I don’t come in different colors
I only come in one:
An envious green.

I’m sharp,
Not soft.
I’m edgy,
Not pretty.

I’m all bite,
No bark.

You flash your green eyes,
and make me fall,
a smile to hypnotize,
as comes nightfall.

but its repetition yet again,
her name's on a loop.
i try and try to abstain,
but out comes the truth

i know i could show you,
your smile could be pure,
from the sadness a breakthrough,
a new meaning for those three words.

Girls like her peak in High School
Always thin
Good at everything
Great at sports
Beautiful
Lots of friends
Outgoing
Confident

Girls like me?
A wallflower
I'm not alone
I have sort-of-friends
I'm a shadow in the back of the class
Always silent
Mid-season I'm failing
Getting grades up just enough
for the final report card to say I'm "smart"
Fool the colleges i do
Silently being the only one who doesn't understand
But the class is moving on without you
Crying because I'm "not good enough"
Below/Average at sports
Never good enough for the team
Stuck on the sidelines
Always watching
My life is a TV program
I laugh and watch
But never feeling a part of it
I'm just a spectator

Girls like her peak in college too
Even more beautiful then before
A boyfriend to match
And a petite body that looks great in everything
Flying through college
Instagram model

Girls like me?
Flunked my first year
Home i go
More clueless than ever
"I changed my major" i tell them
I put on the act
"I know what I'm doing"
It's all a lie
A mask I wear
Falling apart inside
Feeling despair
The tears come easy
They come fast
How long will this misery last?
Comparing, Comparing
It's a bigger high school now
Except no one gives a **** this time round
I did this to myself
Want to fix it
Is it too much to ask for a win?
Medication helps the focus
I am making a plan

I'm learning
I'm finding myself
It's okay to take my time
It's okay if I'm a little slow
So why do i feel like I'm just fooling myself?
Everyone has a different path
I haven't given up
I haven't stopped moving
So why i am walking the treadmill?
Moving but still in the exact same spot?

I'm jealous of girls like her
They got it all
Wish things were different
Wish i was given their hand
Cause fate has delt me a rough one

She gets the grassy meadow
I get the stormy mountain
She gets prince charming
I'm still waiting
She uses her wit to defeat the witch
I escape and run through books and other things that distract

What is wrong with me?
Why can't i be good at things?
Why is this so hard?
I wish things came easy.

We were friends
Me and her
And i hate the green monster
that leaves me with this jealous anger

Stay away
Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat
All they do is cause me harm
All the doubts and pain creeps back
I keep reopening the wound.
Those negative thoughts i though were gone?
Well they are buried in the back of my mind ready to resurface.

This is just the beginning of my story
I know this
I am destined for greater things
I know this
I will make it
I know this
I will graduate
I know this

Yet, Girls like her
Leave me with lies that echo...

Why do I get jealous?
Jealousy is just an emotion
Emotionally draining that is

I’m not supposed to be jealous
We’re in a poly relationship
So why do I fear you’ll leave

Leave me for her
She doesn’t give you the problems
She gives you happiness

I’m mixed up
I like our relationship
The openness
The communication

I just need to let this go
Let it leave my body
I shouldn’t be jealous

When I think of you,
I compare you to the sun.
Bright, beautiful and warm.

But, when you rise,
I want you to set.
Your bright rays,
overwhelming.
Your warmth violent,
it burns my heart.

Our gradient skies are no longer,
filled with our color.
Your wall of light,
pushed me to nights envy.
Now, I am with the scorned moon.

Waiting — sitting — dark eternity,
for a sun to rise again.
A sun that could share,
my sky.