I guess I should start by saying that I don't really believe in other universes or alternate dimensions.
But sometimes I like the idea of manipulating where I am now into something... better?

Only to find that I'm not in that kind of better place.

So... until I reach that realization again, here I go.

In another universe, we met at the auditions for my first musical. I wasn't scared to audition because I finally wanted to put myself out there as a singer.

We both get chorus parts... figures.

In another dimension, I was told to pursue my music career like it was the most important decision I was ever going to make.
I stick with it.

In another timeline, I spent every lunch hour making friends laugh at my dumb jokes.

In another universe, I never lost those friends.

In another timeline, those texts never made it to their phone. Maybe they didn't even get on the ship.

In another dimension, I never stopped hugging you.

In another world, I stuck with friends I had.

In another universe, there was never that fight. We never had a falling out, and there was never a time where we stopped being friends.

In another universe, I never got on that plane to Paris.

In another timeline, I finally recovered from losing all my friends. I finally got better.

In another dimension, I stopped writing about how much the past 5 months broke me.

In another universe I never hesitated to text anyone for fear of interrupting their life.

In another world, I never recover.

In another dimension, I never get over it. I let it consume me and I commit suicide. I never said anything to let anyone know when the end would come.

In another world, I spoke up and said I miss you.

In another dimension, we never met.

I guess that would be a sad place to be.

In another universe...

It never rained on the pride parade downtown. It stayed sunny, and people kept walking in full glow of their personality.

In another world, I did something or said something worthwhile.

In another dimension
In another universe
In another world
In another life...

I was gonna be okay.
And I knew somehow...
That we'd be there.
Together.

But none of these alternate realities exist.
I guess I just like the idea of another outcome.

Sometimes I wish I were an insect. So small and insignificant. Where all I had to worry was where to eat and where to sleep.  Under a rock or deep in the ground away from the world. My only worry the trample of a boot or the squawk of a bird. Sometimes I wish I were an insect.    

Sometimes I wish I were a tree. Strong and sturdy. Where all I had to do was stand and watch the seasons change, the people change, the world change. My only worry the chop of an ax or whether my roots are deep and strong enough to stand against the howling winds. I wish I were a tree.
    

Sometimes I wish I were a river. Moving rapidly and easy. Where all I had to do was go with the flow of my current. My only worry the unbearable heat that brings on a drought or the toxins of man. I wish I were a river.

I wish I could look in the mirror everyday
and think I looked beautiful.
I wish I could walk into a room full of strangers
with my head held high and my story to tell.
I wish I was really talented at something like everyone else.
I wish I knew what I was doing with my life.
I wish I was skinny to the bone so I could go to the beach
with pride and look like all my friends.
I wish I didn't have to say "goodbye" so often
that my chest aches in a familiar way.
I wish I thought better of myself.

Shocker, this rocker, a lyrical Doctor.
A Golden God's voice, which makes women moist.
A comedy genius, No doubt about that.
I want to be friends with the Legend Jack Black!

She makes me want to risk a cold
Because I wouldn't want to risk not being by her side
Dancing in the rain on a Thursday night
She makes me appreciate how bright the sun is
Even when it blinds me
Because seeing the light reflect off her cheek on a Sunday afternoon
Is a sight I refuse to miss
She makes me enjoy 6 hour car rides to my moms for Christmas
Because the beats on the radio aren't the only thing I'm listening to
Her voice is like music to me

Things I wish boys would say about me
-S

I wish I could die and walk away from this world I see, but death would be too good for me just like her you see,

If I go do not cry because I will be raising high, as death is only my biggest dream but death will not let me die.

If I go il leave her here and then Il wish that I, was just a little drop of rain one slash and il be gone

When I realized you were done and gone,
I went to the beach where we had spent one of our first nights together. Drove down the pitch black roads, walked down the empty path. Not a soul in sight I laid on desolate beach. Under starry sky the breeze was just the same, a light drizzle of rain came my way, and I sat there waiting for the droplets to sink in, the way I was waiting for you. I stared up at the moon, wondering if maybe you were looking it too. It was in that moment all I wanted, all I wished for, was to be able to lay on your chest, and fall asleep once more like that night before. You were the best peace I had ever known, but now here all alone, all I have I have is the chaos in my soul.

I wish a lot of things
I wish I was different
but I'm not
I wish we didn't end it
but it did
I wish we could start over
but we won't
I wish I could make you happier
but I can't
I wish you weren't **** a ******
but you are
I wish
I wish
I wish
But they will never come true.

body...
it hurts
and I can't do it anymore.

But its okay... just sometimes,
No. I can't.

"Can't what!!?"_ you shriek

Everything:
Its painful to get dressed,
coming out from the curled, soft, blankets
it hurts
my head, eyes, and  body
I can't explain why or how.
I can't explain my self
not anymore.

I can't be fake
anymore
talking **** all the time.
I can't hide these feelings.

I'm scared.
not knowing where I am
blinded of where I'm going,
doing my best to cover all this chaotic mess
with a smile,
the smile everyone exclaims they love so dearly.
A smile just to get me out the door and through the day.
And Why
And  How
!!!
How do these **** Lovely Beings see all this good,
all this beauty, hope and fragile kindness..
all this peace and passion.
How..!
can they see all this, behind that smile..
Telling me these sweet gentle words,
words I truly try to believe in!
words I forget to believe in
words that I find so hard to see,
all these wonders
people talk of.
I get so lost in myself,
trying to find these wonderful sweet words
of calm seas, and humble peace
those words,
people exclaim to me.

But its Hard
and most days..
I just can't.

So I'm sorry if I get down and all shades of blue,
of lost
and scared.

But these horrible words:
'I can't'
Have Haunted me since forever.
those terrible two
words..
spinning around in my miserable, lost, mind.

Causing my body to hurt so
with all these sleepless nights.

But its Okay!
No worries

its Just...
at times it hurts so
that I look in the mirror and see
lost, tired, scared, sad, eyes
staring so freighted back at me.

Asking why, I could possibly hurt so..

But for now.
Sorry, my lovelies
that I hurt so

Maybe someday,
I will truly believe in calm seas and shining peace
with radiant skin
shinning with blinding passion.

I wish I could hold you all night.
I wish I could hold you all night and wake up just the same as we fell asleep.
Wraped in eachothers arms, damp with eachothers sweat,
naked and happy.