It doesn't make sense,
your name hums in my brain.
My heart is in despair.
My eyes burn from the pain.
Dear God,
I'm sure the stars aligned whilst you were created.
Every freckle on your skin
has a secret beneath it.
Just like the way your arms are carved,
by angels, I fully believe.
You're in my veins,
and I swear, I wish to rip you off.
You're injected in my bloodstream.
But my eyes have no more tears,
to long for you,
and your big bright eyes.
Intuition failed me.
I believed every word your mouth gently spoke,
shy and hidden,
with your cheeks blushed,
and your eyes closed.
God, I thought you were perfect.
And we could speak in a way,
we only understood.
I remember your eyes got watery,
in place of the 'I love you'
you tried to voice,
but it just wasn't true.
And when I talk about you,
I'm verbose.
From every feeling I've bottled up.
From your toxic love.
And God, I wish to hate you.
But I don't.
Then there was lust,
and alcohol,
and a beach full of sand.
And every grain of sand remembers,
how you grabbed my hand.
How you didn't even grasp for air,
when you kissed my mouth.
In complete madness,
hopelessly,
such as if tomorrow
simply wouldn't make the scene.
You knew you'd lost me,
it was our last goodbye.
I hope she was worth the while.
I wish you fall in love,
and get your heart broken,
shattered to pieces.
And that there's no one there,
to help you fix it.
I hope you find yourself,
alone,
glueing the pieces,
cut with every one of them
that once read my name.
And that you feel small,
maybe you'll forget about yourself,
for once,
and feel sorry,
for every single one of your games.
And you destroyed me,
to bits,
and pieces.
But I've picked myself up,
slowly and without help,
erasing your name from my heart.
And now that I'm aware,
and not dozed off,
from your green gleaming eyes,
and the love you promised,
that didn't come by.
How I wish,
oh I wish,
when you offered me the world,
I would've said I had my own.
na
For Emi.
The last verse: 'How I wish,
oh I wish,
when you offered me the world,
I would've said I had my own.'
is inspired by the quote "He offered her the world. She said she had her own." by Monique Duval.
