It took forever for the hot water to get up to my room 
Every hotel I get a room in the hot water takes forever to get to me
I'm not kidding 
And I'm on like the 3rd floor, not the 12th or the 32nd
The hotels I stay in don't have 12 stories and definitely don't have 32

But the view was ok
The roof of the lobby had a lot of things going on
Like big fans and motors and pipes
And water in big puddles
All the hotels I stay in have a lot of water in big puddles
They really do

But the girl at the check-in counter really knew what she was doing
She checked me in real quick 
And she was friendly
Most check-in girls are not friendly at all
They act like you're a inconvenience to their job
Which is checking people in to the hotel
Check-in guys too

But when they're nice it makes everything seem not so shady 
I hate it when people treat you like you're standing in a shadow
like you're invisible
It makes me feel like they can't see me
It really gets annoying after a while
Like all they see is a big fan and a lot of water in a big puddle

It really does

Kneel beyond my throne, unaware it was born of lies.
Eyes linger on my every move, whispers shouting.
Am I meant to replicate perfection, or just die trying?
Cold smiles approach, thinking they have uncovered my tell-tale heart.

I am a seasoned ghost.

Being raised to suffer, I have learned to hide.
To mold myself to fit the standards of society.
To grit my teeth and stand still as my form shifts once again.
Knowing the brief seconds of waking are a soft euphoria I will soon miss.

I wake to a dawn meant only for the dying.

I wake to reset my own jaw,
bending my bones backwards
with the occasional crack,
a ritual ensuring I resemble something human.

People believe I am powerful, successful, happy,
(but i am as fragile as frost on a window touched by morning).
My costume is convincing, but I am chronically ill.
Invisibly so, and so the pretending continues.

I walk through the halls
like a forgotten ghost
everyone looks through me
like they can't see me
but to be honest
it's better if they don't see me
because when they do
the things they say
oh, the things they say
hurt like a knife to the chest
the pounding of my heart
spills the blood of anger
and seeping sadness
and splatters on the walls

Open doors, yet stuck inside.
Come and go, I don't care.
But the pain,
an unknown ache in me
weighs heavy.

Like a ghost wandering lost,
I move with invisible wound.
Some days it hits harder,
Just like last night.
Just like today.

This lonely, silent hollow ache,
I don't know why I push everyone away.
It’s just another day.

I can't relate, I can't explain.
Nothing feels real outside,
Nothing makes sense inside,
It's heavy.

I wish I could figure it out.

Losing someone you never even dated is a different kind of Heartbreak.
You pour your emotions,
Your quiet hopes, into a connection that never fully existed outside of your Mind.

Every Smile,
Every Glance, becomes something you overanalyze.
Searching for a sign, a spark.
Something that might prove she felt it too.
But most days, it's like standing in the shadows.
Watching her move through life without ever really seeing you.

Stuck in this in-between,
Too much for just friends,
Somehow not enough for anything more.
And that Stings.
Wondering if she ever saw what you felt.
If she ever noticed your quiet affection or your subtle longing.

Unrequited love doesn't fade,
It buries itself deep, waiting in some quiet corner of your heart.
Still Aching.
And sometimes we wait too long for the love we deserved all along.
Forgetting that our worth is never tied to someone else recognition of it.

But you can never forget the weight of love unspoken,
A story that never began yet still feels irrepairably broken.

Speak, though the world may not yet hear,
Your voice a melody, unique, clear.
In the symphony of life, each note dear,
The universe listens, always near.