it's a loaded term.
branded and historically stern.
While the shadow still remains
after the setting sun --
your pain will remain.

This is the ORIGIN of shame.

Have you not learned?
how They play game?
paint us out to be insane.

I wasn't given a choice.
I was given a name.



-- that i haven't changed.

Got a lot of stuff to get off my chest
Feelings I have don't really need to be expressed
So I put them down in words lock em up in a vault then throw away the key down to the depths of the earth
It hurts but you gon see a smile up on my face
You probably think I'm a clown
You probably know its fake
And youre gonna keep asking and imma keep masking
Pain is for the weak and as I die please don't resuscitate
And I blame it on fate
That I'm where I needed to be
Not cause I'm lazy cause I can't write to a beat
Cause I don't have the lyrical abilities
Not cause I fall short spiritually
And I dare you to try to be me
Nobody tries to look beneath what they see
Nobody sees the part of me that bleeds
Nobody sees that it's hard for me to breathe
And that's the way I like it, transparency

the clicking of keys
the lack of a breeze
ring in your head a bell
at the end of it all
when pieces all fall
what does it mean? pray tell

the diligent student
the men and the women
who're paid to buy and sell
from the highest paid suit
to hardworking prunes
and the unemployed as well

when tires skid
sad wife and kids
nothing guards against death
take the day
liberate, be brave!
yet all must draw last breath

valhalla for winners
and hell for the sinners
but what if you don't have faith
no matter the tithes
your friends, your life
through absence, will you, betray

Appreciate
Take time to pray
because when it's gone, that's it
you think there, still
roll around until
Ah, I gotta take a ...

I shut my eyes and inhale
Trying to find the inner goddess
The warrior, the princess
The one who is inspiring and magical at her core

Instead, I see me
I find an empty chest that is twisted with anxiety
I find a tired body from ripping myself away
I find a mind begging to be silent
I find a heart longing to be free

I stop for a moment.

I no longer am plastering pieces together to form a goddess.
I can see that I am nothing near to a princess
Not an inspiration or a songbird in the breeze
My heart is tugged downward by weights

What am I feeling?
It buried so far beneath the surface I am not sure I will ever see
It is nonexistent, untraceable
A hollowness envelops me

and I let it go.

I write these quotes from time to time...
I write for those who believe in love but have never felt it first hand,
Those who believe in the intimacy of lust but have felt the roughness of young love.
I write for those who don't fit in because they seem to be two steps behind every one else.
I write for those who fight their insecurities with this pen.
I write for those who life has taught there's no true disappointment without hope.
I write for those who have demons so versatile, they doubt the trust of someone they call a friend.
I write these quotes for those who believe they are that bad example so others out there live a better life.


I am The 7eventh Day, one of these days I might just write for you.

Queue ******;
hands sweating
heart racing
focus, eyes glazing.

Queue Regret;
composure,
"why couldn't I maintain it?"
I am rich, not one of the unsightly poor!
"Why, why couldn't I maintain it?"
This sequence in trance, I was so sure!
"****, WHY COULDN'T I MAINTAIN IT?"
Everyone is gone, FATE everlasting so cruel.

Queue Hope;
in that darkest hour I was prompted and asked:
"Do you wish to CONTINUE?"
A new beginning, a fresh start, reset and CONTINUE!

"Life is fleeting", that's what I have always been told.
"Do you really wanna do that?"
Why can't you move on, like every other ode.
"Do you really wanna do that..?"
Uncanny sentiment ramping in thought: "AltDeleteControl"

Queue End:
Oh how you have played out to be
nothing but a sequence
a sequence that leads to
End Process Tree.
"Are you really gonna do that?"
stopping not one, but ALL .exe's
"Seriously STOP, DON'T DO THAT!"

NO
self love
belief
friends or family
Could possibly save me,

from this already played out self tragedy.

Under the hills
Hiding with pills,
Addicted to thrills
It never fills.

Wanting to live
Never learned to give,
Wish to forgive
Memories I relive.

Wish I could love
Lost hope in above,
I'm awake sort of
Connections I shove.

Rid me of my stress
Lonely I confess,
Don't want to digress
I fear a caress.

Don't hold me tight
My words they bite,
In my head, I know not right,
My distance comes from fright.

I wish we were together,
I wish I could love forever,
But with you I will never
Because all ties I chose to sever.

I want connection
I seek affection
I really want to provide protection,
But when I'm given perfection
I respond only with rejection,
I wish my mind held no election
Only my heart to give injection,
So much pain in collection,
It's hard living in reflection.

Will you be with me?
No. You are not good enough.
Yes, I see that now :-(

You tell me everything I want to hear
And I want it, I want your words so bad

Every fiber of my insecurities tell me
That You're selling me snake oil
And I'm buying in bulk

Everything tells me that no matter
How honest I am with you,
I still feel like I'm lying.
Is it wrong to enjoy someone
Thinking You're beautiful?

My head tells me humility
Is the same as cutting something
Out entirely even though it'll save
Your life
Because it's not worth saving.

My head tells me that It's
Impossible for someone to
Give me a compliment
Because they simply only see
What I'm showing them.

My head tells me I'm not
A good person, I'm just pretending.

I still need to find this off switch.