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Cameron Banowsky Dec 2019
We’re all a little lost until we lose ourselves
And we’re a little nervous.
Until we have something to be nervous about.

And we’re all a little numb.
Too afraid to feel.
And we’re all a little nervous.
Until we have something to be nervous about.

Up goes the shield.
And on spins the wheel
And spins goes the wheel.

This is something we have to feel
So up goes my shield
https://soundcloud.com/hackcd/shields
Cameron Banowsky Dec 2019
this storm is breaking
it tears down these walls.
for the first time
i'm not alone for the the fall.

this is desire.
it's in us all.
so speak out your fire.
go make all your calls.

i will be standing.
I will not fall.
I am no liar.
I am just flawed.
Now I can face the truth:
this was your fault.
I am not blaming you.
I'm moving on.

I just took a moment to write you this song.
to my mother.
Cameron Banowsky Dec 2019
this it cannot be explained.
i cannot wish it away.
every return yields the same.
I want to stay, but I drift further away.
where I go I can't say.
I wonder when I will finally get to that last day.

life wasn't meant to be fighting pain.
Cameron Banowsky Dec 2019
what a shame.
to issue baseless blame
while the purpose is practical,
the practice is lame.

even slowed down in pace:
even with such flagrant displays of grace...
do ends that justify means wipe the wrong from this place?
I'd rather watch them dig their own graves, but to what end does this serve the broader space?

**** it.
**** it, no, seriously.
How many years go by and the feeling remains empty?
Fill it please, by all ******* means.
To the one who can, gets to see the real me.
meh again
Cameron Banowsky Nov 2019
**** it.
i've said it before.
when the volume rises and I see the door.
what the **** are you fighting for?
to maintain a false understanding that you know much more?
break me, please
god forbid you say anymore.
**** it
Cameron Banowsky Oct 2019
You are what you were
Your thoughts are absurd
You place your faith in other words
You have no worth

You walk through this life
Fairytales are your lies.
You place your faith in other words
You have no worth

The light in your eyes
That fear grows in size
Faith is your surprise
The irony is quite wise

Go drink those tears that you cry.
Go walk with the other blind
Go walk with your kind
This won’t be new
You do it all the time


So stay quiet
I am recursively finding past writings.  This one was originally a song from two years ago

https://soundcloud.com/hackcd/evening-thoughts-take-1
Cameron Banowsky Aug 2019
Should have I finished school?
That'd be cool.
Bringing me back to feeling like a fool.
Standards are discarded when you show them you don't need those rules.

Stand up.
Be free.
Life is once.
You can't believe
That what you think you see
Is nothing more
Than the pain beneath.

I just wish I could breathe
At least I could find the peace to finally sleep.
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