Love is not blind
Love has eyes
a face, heart and ability
to feel and touch
your deepest inner….

Accessible, not for everyone
like you, there is only one
i came, i saw nothing but i conquered
my fear phobia
mental inability
ego my person everything i do is ever
considered
i look in the mirror i am not there
can you tell me where i am
that i don't even know myself anymore?

My girl the name is Love
your sweetest place on earth
you know that like no other
it's worth the most to you
you travel in many countries
you have roamed everywhere on this globe
you will always find the same Country, i hope

My girl really doesn't know where that is?
take a look in the mirror
do you see that Country?
that Land is called Love
Love is not blind, has
a face, heart and ability
to know and know it
look longer in this mirror
you will see that Land rise
that Country where you stay in more often
than you ever expected
your deepest inner…..

©Sylvia Frances Chan

Come at me wind
make me twirl inside of you,
make my skirt and my hair fly
until I no longer knows where I am
Let me hear your growling strength
and let's see who outscreams who
Make me see that chaos of panic
that is already filling my heart

Come on and push me,
just push me, closer to the edge
staring down at the almost forgotten dreams,
blinded by the fear and the tears
and just when I think I might not fall after all,
that I will just stay here,
you'll throw me down and make me fly
You'll force me to do what I thought I couldn't
what I thought I was not strong enough to do
And this storm inside of me will rage and let go at the same time
and I will be on my way, at last

Please.
Please rage at me my dear storm.

I feel constriction in my throat
I know it's you who put it there.
My limbs, they shake
My voice doth quake
I burn from the inside out.

I feel emptiness in my abdomen
I know it's you who wants it there
I labored til my soul went brittle
You played my heart like a broken fiddle
I collapse from the inside out.

I feel heaviness in my heart
I know it's your fault that it's there
Your treatment chained me to the ground
I ******* miss you when you're not around
I disintegrate from the inside out.

I feel blood-drops in my wrists
I know it's you who doesn't care
No matter how hard I tried for you
You refuse to see what's clear and true
I dehydrate from the inside out.

You broke me into millions of little pieces

I am never going to be even close to who I was before

We both tried putting me back together

But I am missing too many to hold my guts inside

This constant itch
Is quit the -

I just want to give in
To what I shouldn't even
Think, but I do day in and out
So I hold in this piercing shout

Oh just to give in to it
But lives would turn to -
So I hold on by my finger nails
While my insides wail

Oh this constant itch
it is quit the –

Defective Words

I feel like a failure
Because I don't know what to do
Some stories are self deprecating
Most of them, actually
So will you laugh
Or am I just embarrassing

Is my stupid hair
A sign of independence
Or just something else
That makes me different
Am I everything you want
Or everything you dread

Am I a trainwreck
Already in full force
Careening off the tracks
Surrounded by bystanders
I guess it'd be funny
If I wasn't me

I'm okay with being the mess
Playing the disaster
I'm outside of myself
So it doesn't matter
If I play the fool
I'm laughing too

burning inside
with all these thoughts in my mind
sometimes I want to take my own life
then I realize
nobody will know why
Why I wanted to die?
wish that I could tell you why
the pain I feel inside
wishing to leave it all behind!
I want nobody to sympathize
Yet I know I'm already dead inside!!!