There was a certain air to the night, that reminded me too much of you.

I wasn't sure if it was your cologne or just a warmth within the winds.

Maybe it was the coldness of your empty side of the bed.

Or the weightlessness of my empty hands without yours in them.

Memories of you were inescapable. Everything about you lingered in the air.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

"The simplest way to describe love is probably when you feel like, just being around them, you're at home.
You forget about everything else.
Everything fades away except their presence and your presence.
You give everything just to spend a minute with them.
You sacrifice sleep some nights just in case they need you at all.
You get a warm feeling inside of your chest whenever you hear their voice and when they're talking about something they're passionate about, you can't stop smiling and all your attention is on them.
They know all the right things to say and never fail to remind you that they exist and love you with every fiber of their being.
You never feel nervous around them, or get butterflies, nor does your heart beat out of control.
You're calm and relaxed."

Maybe when I'm
Drunk and vulnerable
I'll confess it all.

Like how I love you
And the way you smile
When you tell me about
A good day you've had.

Or how I could never
Tell you I'm in love  
With you sober

Because I know you don't
Feel the same and I
Can't bare to take the pain.

I still taste your bitterness on my tongue,
The reality became too hard to swallow.
Somehow the days we shared together became weeks, turned into months, and then years..
I remember everything about you.
How couldn't I?
The way your forehead knotted with frustration,
The way your eyes lit up with passion,
The way you uncomfortably smiled through agonizingly awkward situations,
The way your voice got deeper when you got serious,
The way your nose wrinkled as you woke up..
And the way... the way our eyes met, followed with a smirk in a room full of people.
You always knew how to make me weak to my knees, but also back on my feet.
Because see, I might've loved you so much that I forgotten myself.
I might've swung between hope and despair in your slightest gesture..
But the intensity of how I felt for you, will no longer tolerate what you showed your love to be like. A gamble.
I thought of myself as deranged.
I mean, how couldn't I?
I didn't want to live the rest of my life without you, but I also didn't want to live the rest of my life with what you've given me.
I guess It's safe to say that the one who won this fateful war in my heart, is whomever I loved more.

I lie awake with thoughts of you occupying my mind

And I know that dialing those ten familiar numbers would get you here in a matter of minutes because it’s only 2:04am and you rarely ever sleep before 3.

But I will forbid myself to pick up the phone

Because although I would love to feel safe and secure I know it will just make it harder in the end.

How can I be at home yet feeling so incredibly homesick?


I try again to remember blissful moments

Moments before things got complicated and stressful

Like when you traveled thousands of miles to meet my little brother.

Or when we danced at a country bar in a small town to music we didn’t even know and enjoyed the company of people twice our age.

Or memorizing each other’s orders at every café, breakfast bar and ice-cream shop we went to.


I try to remember occasions before the shadows of your past made constant appearance in your character,

And those very shadows caused the very arguments that broke the one thing I was sure couldn’t be broken.


Now it’s 2:12am and nothing’s changed,

Just another night spent obsessing over what used to be.


R.M.

Recently, my awake feels faker than my dreams.
I can't help but scream.
It's killing me,
this pain I feel.
I'm trying to distract myself from what I perceive as real.
It's impossible to heal.
This cycle I'm in tears me to shreds.
Honestly, I'd be better off dead,
so I just stay in bed.
Pretending that the pain is gone
and you're still there singing me that stupid song.
It's been too long.
The heart can only take so much before it shatters.
Not that it really matters,
the pieces are too scattered.
The shards are too sharp to put back together and I don't know why.
I'd honestly rather die.
Waking up makes me want to cry.
Dreams are too much for my heart to take
because seeing your face feels fake.
But it was a decision my soul had to make,
to forget you
and all my tears fall like dew
when I think of all we had been through.
It hurts.
Maybe I'll find you again on my search,
and for what it's worth,

**I loved you.

https://youtu.be/7E9s-Fpq44I

not sure how this is going to work, but I wrote a slam poem and would like if you checked it out (copy and paste the link above)