I'm shrinking.

Further and further from sight.

You are 800 miles away and I am slowly but surely disappearing out of view.

You are the only one who matters to me but yet I continue to break your heart with my self destruction.

Forgive me for withering away while we were apart.

You just became so distant physically while I, mentally.

"I love you," a kind soul said.
"Don't do that to yourself," I replied.
"I take that love and use it for personal gain. Then once I'm done I throw you away, for who keeps the spare parts? I'll let you fill that void inside me for a little while and keep myself warm against the harsh and cold winter. I'll let you 'love' me then, just to be cruel, I'll drop you. You'll be sad and wonder, 'How could she?' or 'What did I do?' You didn't do a thing darling, I just grew tired and it was getting too hot for me (maybe i was getting attached we'll never know). So, ya, don't do that to yourself."

I find myself at such a loss.
Just wait.
Here me out.
What I'm bout to say comes straight from the heart.

Look, I get it, you dont have to answer any of my calls.
I'm believing..
Hell, I'm hoping, you'll pick up one day.
Please just know, I'd never want to add to your pain.
I'm praying that time makes a change in our life.

This is a strange place to be in.
This is a strange place I've put myself in.
Admitting things I never would.
Confessing things, that's just something I never did.

I find myself pacing, I feel like I'm going crazy, realizing how much you made a difference in my life,
And I don't want anybody else.

Hear me?
Don't nobody deserve myself, but you.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is..

You ain't gotta make your mind up
right now.
Darling, there's no rush.
So take your time, don't rush.
There's no pressure, I just gatta express this...

You took me by such surprise.
Never thought I'd take you serious.
But you came in and changed everything.
You came in and changed all of me


I miss your little hands and the way they caressed away all of my inner pain.
I admit, I took you for granted.
So now here I sit, on the edge of my empty bed with nothing but the reflection of all my bad decisions.

There were some nights, I'd find myself talking to my conscience.
I knew I made a few mistakes.
I knew I did it to myself.
I know I never admitted this,
but I'm the only one to blame for this.
I know you might need a little time to believe all of this.
To believe in me again.
To love again.

God, you must really not know it do you? How beautiful you are, standing there in front of me as I say all this.
Those beautiful hazel eyes staring back at me, unaware of how every cell in my entire body just wants to reach out and touch you.
You're not making this easy. Especially when I see you make that face, all I wanna do is make love to you all over the place.
  
I can't do this, I'm determined to fight for this.
I'ma put up a fight for this.
I cannot give up on a love like this.

So I'll be patient, I'll wait for however long you need because to me you're worth it.

I just feel like I’m dying inside without you here by my side my life in shambles from havoc that I wrought. No one to blame but myself  now living with the consequences of not having you the only one I ever truly loved knowing that I have caused you heartache and pain I’ll never be the same alone wondering in the darkness. Looking for that amazing life we shared in this universe as my soul gets pulled into the portals with nothing that I can do to stop it you’re my balance yin to my yang my elemental my soulmate