Thoughts racing, thinking of escaping
Am I trapped? Have I been confined to live in this place of regret?
This is all my fault, placed here through my actions, never to feel again the grace of satisfaction
Death appears to be the only light, it feels like there’s no reasons left to fight

A hostage to my own mentality, an everlasting insanity
There is no breaking free the chains of subconscious slavery

Consumed by the thoughts in my head, nothing makes sense but the voices want me dead
Constricted by the walls of my mind, telling me to leave this all behind.
Oh how I crave such a shallow grave; bring me to my final resting place

Death holds a constant grip on me

My head forever held in shame, forget my face, forget my name
Disintegrate all feelings once felt, pandemonium is where i’m left to dwelt
Beating hearts never felt so cold, living within this hell all alone
Ceasing to exist is all I’ve ever known
Calloused, broken, bruised and bleeding
My inner compass has lost its true north, always contemplating back and forth
Standing on the fringes of existence, pushed from the edge of my subsistence

A hostage to my own mentality, an everlasting insanity
There is no breaking free the chains of subconscious slavery

Unworthy to call this body a home; this prison of mere flesh and bone
I have become darkness incarnate, a true form of the blackest abyss
Deliver me from dissolution, no absolution from my own retribution

This mortal vessel has run it’s course, completely depleting my vital life force
Nothing can save me from myself, my own worst enemy, my soul forgotten like an unread book on the shelf

A hostage to my own mentality, an everlasting insanity
There is no breaking free the chains of subconscious slavery

With every notion of devotion I beg and plead to thee, please release me from this grim reality

big bright green spider
on my drivers-side window-
you held me hostage

Remembering the way
you pulled me close to your heart in the promises
of never breaking me

staying here, dancing in my mind
in public
in the dark
making the tensity in my body, release
telling me you love me, keeping yourself hostage
in my body,
i listen deeply.
i am home to you.

You still hold my heart
              around your neck.
Chained like you own it.

I,m empty without it,
          I never wanted you to go.
its like if you didn't


                                       want me.

But though I want to love again.

          I feel nothing, because you still
have my heart noosed around your neck.

Beating close to you, but you just squeeze it.
             And I feel pain where there is nothing
                                                                ­     to feel.

Were you a victim?
Were you held captive?
What was the ransom?
How deep was our bond?

Were you in chains?
Forced to be bound to me?
Or is that the way
You want to be seen?