It left me burning. I expected hollow, but never the all together searing smoking pain. An eternal scalding I cannot shake. I envisioned my eyes aglow, instead my inside set ablaze

some pretend
to be
a good wisher
but are just
selfish
hollow
selves
feeding on others
for their
personal shortlived
contentment

...................................................
   my heart            is filled
with           th    e               thrill
of                   fin                ding
my                                     place
that I                               don't
  even                            notice
     the ma                 sk they
          painted    on my
                      face  
.................................­..................

I never was the kind of girl
Who hid my face
Was not afraid to tell the world
What I had to say

But this nightmare came
Knocking at my door
I can't let it show
The inside is so hollow, so hollow

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life where you know who you are
Even though it seems like it's so close to me
I just can't believe in myself, it's the only thing

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

I'm the voice you hear inside your head
I'm why your ears are ringing
You need to find me
You gotta find me

I'm the missing piece you need
The reason that you're falling
You need to find me
You gotta find me

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

This ain't me

But I can find who I am
And keep myself from holding in
No more hating who I used to be
*** that ain't me.

Tin man, on the eve of tin,
your apology rings hollow.

I think that you
were only trying to

crack a window,
find a space to crawl back in,

attempt to
erase me some more.

Meanwhile, the police
are off investigating

crimes that happen in
real time. They like

to catch their perps
red-handed. Even with you

cast in the limelight,
confirming that what you did

to me was real,
it was my own nightmare.

I know, we fall into
that grey area.

In a garden of blooms
you walk freely,

inhaling and dreaming
of touching

those yet untouched
pink and yellow buds.

My leaves are yellow and orange
The surroundings are shades of brown and sorrow
the branches have already fallen
and just like that
the tree was hollow

The night is cloudy and the stars don't shine,
The raindrops on the window are illuminated by the cold street light.
Perhaps I would be able to hear the roaring wind
but it is silenced by the tick tock of the clock on the wall.

Maybe, maybe I will write again,
Maybe, maybe I will learn to play a happy tune,
One day I'll forget elegies
And stop making these melacholy effigies

I don't really like rhyming now,
They sound too happy and are sometimes cheap.
I rather write to my poems and say, "Thou
art my biggest mystery, you're too shallow. You're too deep."

So in conclusion,
I don't know why I'm writing.
All I know in this confusion
Is that the night is cloudy and the stars don't shine,
The raindrops on the window are illuminated by the cold street light.

The clock is ticking. Tick. Tock.
The people are hollow,
The people are stuffed
leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw.

You just have that effect on me
where you get into every inch,
fill every cell,
until you are perfectly everywhere

Until all I say is you,
until your taste,
your cool tongue against mine,
is all I can breathe

Until I can't see,
blinded by the spark in your blue eyes,
making everything turn into your color

Until my words of you
are just pouring out of my fingers,
trying to grasp as I write you down

And you even make me wake up
with your name ringing in my head,
as if I've been calling for you all night

And I know our memories back and forth,
I've visited them so often that they are tattooed across my mind,
carved into my chest,
so even my heart knows when to skip that beat

But it just gets hollow,
filling myself up with old memories,
so torn and tormented,
so far away from you

Like I'm living out of old air,
to thin to give any real release
but to lightheaded to stop