i’m so lost and
confused

tired of my tears
and my screams
leaving me silent

my hoarse voice
and tear stained cheeks
mean nothing to you

there is no remorse
or guilt
in the way you treat me

i’m sorry
you say
but those words are hollow

and hold
no meaning to me

they are locked in a box
deep inside my mind

is this what love is

you have broken me
and now i don’t know
who i can trust

i’m afraid i am no longer
loveable

my body and mind
are in too many pieces
for someone to try and put me back together

but that word
try
is another word i have locked away

because you have taught me
that to try
is to fail

and to speak
is to disappoint

but as you taught me
you beat me down
so now

after you
there is nothing left of me
for someone else to love

and how do i explain
why i have nothing left
and that the scars covering every inch of me
are from you

how do i explain
why i think this is love

Hollow feeling creeping into my chest,
wanting to cut out all the parts of me
I hate to see,
coming off of an amazing high
only to be ripped apart by my mind.
It's getting bad again but this time,
no more getting help.

It left me burning. I expected hollow, but never the all together searing smoking pain. An eternal scalding I cannot shake. I envisioned my eyes aglow, instead my inside set ablaze

some pretend
to be
a good wisher
but are just
selfish
hollow
selves
feeding on others
for their
personal shortlived
contentment

...................................................
   my heart            is filled
with           th    e               thrill
of                   fin                ding
my                                     place
that I                               don't
  even                            notice
     the ma                 sk they
          painted    on my
                      face  
.................................­..................

I never was the kind of girl
Who hid my face
Was not afraid to tell the world
What I had to say

But this nightmare came
Knocking at my door
I can't let it show
The inside is so hollow, so hollow

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark?
To dream about a life where you know who you are
Even though it seems like it's so close to me
I just can't believe in myself, it's the only thing

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

I'm the voice you hear inside your head
I'm why your ears are ringing
You need to find me
You gotta find me

I'm the missing piece you need
The reason that you're falling
You need to find me
You gotta find me

This ain't real, this ain't me
I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Can't let the light shine on me
Now I've lost who I am
The only way to hold it in
Is just hiding who I wanna be
*** this ain't me.

This ain't me

But I can find who I am
And keep myself from holding in
No more hating who I used to be
*** that ain't me.

Tin man, on the eve of tin,
your apology rings hollow.

I think that you
were only trying to

crack a window,
find a space to crawl back in,

attempt to
erase me some more.

Meanwhile, the police
are off investigating

crimes that happen in
real time. They like

to catch their perps
red-handed. Even with you

cast in the limelight,
confirming that what you did

to me was real,
it was my own nightmare.

I know, we fall into
that grey area.

In a garden of blooms
you walk freely,

inhaling and dreaming
of touching

those yet untouched
pink and yellow buds.

My leaves are yellow and orange
The surroundings are shades of brown and sorrow
the branches have already fallen
and just like that
the tree was hollow