I've got a void
I just can't shake
It can't be filled
With Styrofoam
I need to know
How to replace
Memories, love
And this empty space

The time has passed. How quickly the changing of times has made us. Spring is up. Summer is in. Let the party begin. Am I to wither in self-loathing forever? Never. Am I to bury myself in self-pity? Probably, but not entirely. One thing is for sure though. I will always remain hollow, because in the end, there is nothing left for me to follow.

Do you ever just feel empty?
As though your veins are hollow and insides are nothing but air?
As though you look at yourself but you dont see any colour
Like you are feeling so much that you've just stopped feeling at all?

Because thats how I feel right now
Hopefully it wont last for long

He looked at me
But did not see me
He could not feel me
He only saw what he wanted to see.

An object, a female
As if blood did not run through my veins
As if I can not feel hurt or shame
Almost not worthy to have my own name.

Half moon is hanging like an evil hook.
Im drawing your warmth in my mind.
Im a space traveller, look
I travel by closing my eyes.
My quest is full of questions.
You drew a light inside me
In that sunless summer.
In that sea of sorrow.
In the world where no one's trying to be someone.
You drew a heart in a hollow beast.
A reason to be strongest.
You drew a rope when I was falling into abyss.
You drew a promise.

Late night drives on hollow roads
You called me just passed dusk
I waited for you as the night turned over
Your warm knuckles grazed my thigh
You tossed a small bag in lap
A small orange glow turned quickly into a white stream of smoke
I breathed in deeply and thought for a moment
Parted my lips just enough to exhale
You put your car in park and turned the key
You reached out your palm and touched my cheek
The night took her dark veil and laid it over us
You took me that night as you had before
Hiding from the world you said it was our secret
When you sat back I quickly put myself back together
Not even my red eyes could hide the tear that ran away
For in your presents I never felt so alone
The hollow road home was just as hollow as my heart
You have never kissed me except on the forehead to say goodbye
This time was no different
You drove away as if you never knew me
And as if you never as if you never cared to.

I ignore this feeling of hunger.
So that it won't hurt as much.
So that I won't feel the hollow pain,
inside me.

{ E.I }

She was the unfinished puzzle
She was the guitar with broken strings
She was the meadow stripped of green
She was the crooked table of support
She was the inner voice of reason

She was the dream forgotten leaving a shadow of frustration
She was the rush of a fresh storm promising heavy rain
She was the ever-changing bricks in a decaying building
She was the wrecking ball extinguishing it from existence

She was the heaven-sent false prophet
She was the flower ripped from its stem
She was the blank pages of a neglected book
She was the dust covering all abandoned objects
She was the frustration in desire

She was the locked door
She was the vacant room
She was the thought with no voice
She was not love

My head rests on your chest,
listening to the breath that is inhaled
in and out.
Mine just tightens
as I close my eyes and dream
that you loved me.
Hours earlier,
we are locked in sweat and moans.
Your eyes meet mine as you lean forward
and kiss me until I am yours.
You know what you want.
And I whimper in disbelief of the lack of more. "But don't you feel it too?"
You look at me, "of course I feel something.
But not enough to change what I want. And remember I don't fall."
I close my eyes
as I am swept in body heat and caresses.
My heart beats with a hollow sound
that my mind masks
with a dream of your demise.
You don't fall?
Well, I hope you trip as you chase me
when I leave.
But for now, I continue to fall asleep
to the rhythm of your breath
and the fantasy of your affection.