I'm not old
I haven't been here for long
I have no profound wisdoms
I haven't yet learned all that a person can learn from life
But my heart is tired
It's sad and bruised
Dried out and hollow
A few years ago I had the ability to fall in love easily
Now I don't know how to love at all

You're so dreaaaamy baby.
Like really dreamy I wish you could
See me though.
I don't think you can in this huge crowd
But one day that smile on your face
Will be allllll mine.
You heard?

You're so dreaaaamy baby.
You still don't notice me
And it's so funny because you're all I see,
Think or speak about.
I saw you with your friends
Talking and walking.
You voice like silk
And words like spoiled milk
But you're so **** dreaaaamy baby.

You're so dreaaaamy baby.
I figured it out
You like girls with curly hair
Light skin
Voices like the ocean and
And skin so smooth
You wonder if it's a potion.
That's why you don't notice me baby.
I guess zigzag coils are out of style
And dark skin isn't cutting it for you
My voice is rusty and soft, it doesn't flow loudly and smoothly like the sea
And my skin; it's bumpy. But don't we all deal with acne?

You're so dreaaaamy baby
And I want to be your dream girl.
So I straighten my hair and curl it in loose waves, I stay out of the sun even on beach days
I talk louder, with eloquence and confidence
And I do everything possible for clear skin.
And you do notice me this time.
You fall headfirst in love
Yet I can't get out of my mind when you asked
If I was new at school
When I've been there, around you for 3 years
I can only chuckle and say "sort of. But not really."
And that's the real truth.
I sit with you and you friends for months
At lunch like I had been dying to for years.
You don't ask me many questions about myself
Other than "Are going to here or there."
You complement my processed hair
You compliment my silky skin
You compliment my personality 2.0
And it doesn't feel right
Being this
But I've lost who I was a long time ago
And it sorta feels like I'm lacking soul.

You were my dream baby.
But why do I feel like hell?

I can't remember what time feels like,
Or how to form a genuine smile.
I've forgotten the sound of my heart hammering in my ears,
And the sensation of touch is a beautiful memory.
Gutted. Numb. Hollow. Lost.

Part of me will never forget
for not loving you

But another part                           
feels like you wanted me to
Causing me to   

Part of me was already on the way to the bakery
to find cupcake making supplies

when my reflection appeared, realized you don’t have a sweetheart

Unless the reflection was made with darkness, 
there was no way you would see clearly now 
                                                          
I wonder why you had wanted something else    
when all you love is lost

Thinking you were hoping that I could be there with you
back into the graveyard tracks

so that these echoes
made sense like a song again

I believe things are better now  
but it is like blowing on a candle the days of your life

Definitely not worth it   
though I understand your truths and words left unsaid. 

I would have given you my heart 
within the reflections of a sweet sweet ghost

I've got a void
I just can't shake
It can't be filled
With Styrofoam
I need to know
How to replace
Memories, love
And this empty space

The time has passed. How quickly the changing of times has made us. Spring is up. Summer is in. Let the party begin. Am I to wither in self-loathing forever? Never. Am I to bury myself in self-pity? Probably, but not entirely. One thing is for sure though. I will always remain hollow, because in the end, there is nothing left for me to follow.

Do you ever just feel empty?
As though your veins are hollow and insides are nothing but air?
As though you look at yourself but you dont see any colour
Like you are feeling so much that you've just stopped feeling at all?

Because thats how I feel right now
Hopefully it wont last for long