There’s a gaping hole
Inside my body
I can feel it sitting there
Sometimes it feels like sand is filling it up
Like your love is filling it up
But the bottom of this hole
The hole inside my body
Is like a sink hole
It’s still in there somewhere
I know it is
But the hole consumes it
It consumes everything
It consumes me
It seems to fade
Like it was fixed up
Like it was reconstructed
But I know it’s not true
It’s still there
The same **** hole
The hole that started with him
The hole that I wish would go away
It’s a natural disaster
I hope it goes away
I hope I can fix it
Maybe you can fix it
Because he caused it
I’m sorry you have to pick up the pieces he left
I’m sorry I’m broken, maybe beyond repair
Because inside my body
There’s a gaping hole

day by day
i lie awake,  
sometimes i pray
for a day where you and i
could reconcile
and everything could be okay
and we wouldn’t be stuck
in this black hole
with no moons and no stars.
i know god can hear me
yelling and screaming
asking for peace,
but how could my peace increase
when my peace no longer lives
within me

Never whole
since in this hole
I fell
A bottomless well
and since time started here
(when all of time stopped)
this spell
I’m under
makes me not well

The company
I’m in
a grin
One who spins
A tale to weave
of make believe
These items to sell
Story he tells

My brain
set on fire
from his grinning
Cheshire
The maniacal laughter
and madness
inspired
I’m tired
I’m mired
Situation is dire

Without choice
he is hired
All thoughts are rewired
Has risen to “Sire”
This liar and thief
Plays *****
and cheats
I’m beat
can not win
Left to stare at that grin

i am a black hole
spiraling at a speed
you will never truly fathom.

my process,
my power,
you will never understand.

there is a force within me
that draws you close, then
without your realization,
you pull away, changed.

inside me, you leave. your pain,
your sorrow, your guilt.
because i am capable.

Doesn't it sting
Just watching them do anything
And oh how it hurts
Just to watch them flirt
He's the only thing I wanted
And by his ghost I'm haunted
The worst part is
One of my best friends is now his
I should be the one he loves
I want to be the one he hugs
Why does she get to have him
Tears are filling at the brim
My eyes are green
Is it me or him or her that's mean
I don't want to hate them
But I feel trapped in this pen
I hate myself for feeling this way
But it's not something I can just wish away
It's burrowed deep into my soul
Leaving a
Dark
Empty Hole