you keep telling me that i'm cute
you clearly haven't looked in a mirror

Oh, does a man wonder
If he can ever taste love again
For if he did
Would the ink run dry from his pen
Would his metaphors fall overboard
And sink to the abyss
Oh, how he fears the kiss of warm lips
May deaden his words
And if his manic musings would even be missed
For the only time his wandering mind feels alive
Is when the flowers that bloom
Lay dead inside
Through pain is how he explains
The beauty of a dessert
Longing for rain
He’s played many a game of chess
With the author of his own death
It’s how he learns
The difference between
A cold December nightmare
And living out his dreams
His reality is seen
Through the lines we read between
Labeled aloof
You would be too
If you sat with the truth
And understood
He would rather be him
Then pretend to be you
Imagine a man at peace with every dimly lit street
For even the shadows speak
Subtle, discreet
Lend an ear
Give them a listen
Oh, darkness
Forever painted as the villain
He finds hope in those lonely cold winters
Depressed or obsessed?
For maybe he lives life
As if life were all he had left
Often out of step?
Or unwilling to die on a bed of his own regrets
If only you could feel the fire of passion
That burns in his every breath
We all fade
So, he would rather slow dance with life
On the tip of her blade
For your only ever you
When you forget to be afraid

I once saw a deer passing by
its eyes intriguing and delicate —
he was walking unhurriedly while the lights
behind him swerve and dance pokily
while I gather my hands to touch him,
he turns around and ran away.

I once saw a shadow passing by
its being brought chills to my bones —
he was walking behind me, unhurried
while there was no light dancing around us
even the winds stopped breathing;
until I remember, he was me.

I once saw a man passing by
its presence gave me comfort and light
he was running away —
I asked him, “Where are you going?”
He answered, “To the future,”
I smiled and turned to him, “Let's go,”
He held my hands and we both ran together.

I once saw a mirror echoing back at my voice
its existence drove my mind and broke
into tiny pieces — while I go bewildered and
do not know what to do, he laughs and shatters
into fragile broken pieces,
he cries out and I ran away.

I saw the deer passing by
its eyes gentle and noble —
he steps and steps,
until he was facing me
behind him was the lights that stopped dancing
and the wind hustled a great bone-chilling harsh cold,
“You can remember now?”

He asked, “Yes,”
I told him and ran away
to the future, I come and all the shadows and mirrors broke and moaned a great pain.

I remember him now.

It’s that time of a breakup.
Where you start to feel regret,
You get sick, you can’t sleep and no amount of ***** and drugs can get you out of being stuck.

Stuck, lost, and afraid.
What if’s and what won’ts.
To take another leap or move on. Even after all that’s happened.
How is one suppose to forget that.
There are so many thoughts going through my mind tonight/morning, it’s currently 4:35am.
If we could turn back time, I’d put my foot down harder.
If we could turn back time, I’d never would’ve broke again.
If we could turn back time, I’d never have swiped right.
Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me.
Knowing that you can push my buttons with every lie you make, telling me things of my life that never even came to pass.
It’s okay though because I see it now.

Hate, anger, and depression all seeping back in one step at a time and truth is. It’s getting me through this stage of want and need for you.
To think I gave you so many chances, to fix yourself, to be truly consistent with your changes, and trying to listen to your thoughts even though it would lead to arguments.

I will never get the chance to tell you how wrong you were for me.

I will never get the chance to tell you how happy you did make me when we weren’t being dumb.

I will never get the chance to say that I love you with everything I still have. The worst part about all this..
I could never go back to you.


You made me hurt and you keep making me hurt.
You tell me you don’t want me to hate you yet you say the most rambunctious things about my one person.
Lots of talk about change yet, this would be out biggest obstacle and you couldn’t handle it.

I just hope the next girl who is in favor doesn’t feel what I feel. Doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. Doesn’t make you think badly about yourself.
One who makes you feel so ******* important, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be her.

A heart so full had emptied out.
It gave everything it could for you.
You wouldn't meet at the halfway route.
Honestly, it was all you had to do.