the fox spotted me;
as i rounded the corner
bags of groceries
jostling awkwardly
clutched in one fist
oblivious as i rummaged
the depths of my pocket
for the front door key
with the other

long before i spotted it;
that vulpine form
sleek and crafty
elusive yet stark
amongst these surroundings
more often heard
seldom seen
fleetingly at that

in the time that
it took me to recognise
this incursion
of the majesty of animal
upon the mundane of man
to stop and take notice
and give the underapreciated
the moment it deserved
to marvel as a child might
that cunning visitor had
already turned tail
determined and decided
it took its chosen course
without pause

If that gem lay there before you
the one you never knew you needed
if it shimmered
would you not reach to make it your own

If it sparkled, just enough
to lift your heart from where it sank
if it was there
would you turn away for lack of reason

Would you tell yourself it’s not for you
not meant, not earned, not real
that some hands are made to hold beauty
and yours are not among them

Would you fear it might fade in your grasp
or that you would
break it
smear the shine with doubt
taint the treasure by wanting it too much

Or would you kneel
not with greed but with wonder
fingers trembling, heart split open
and take it gently
like it had been waiting
for you
all along

I keep pretending that you don’t want me,

Because that would be a reason to stay.

So if I find a reason to leave, I’ll be gone

By golden hour, without a message or note,

Without even any goodbyes.

I think I should say hello
But my brain just blanks  
you know?
Heart says “go” feet say “no”
So I stand here…

Stuck in hello.

Hello........

Ahhhhh

Let it be.

The misery in my chest,
Reeks as if it be,
The shivery shame one feels,
When perched before a class--
Of peers whose keener eyes,
fitter thoughts,
and witter words,
Dowse one in distress,
For my eyes are weary,
My mind unwound,
And my words, but a wheezing sound.

Had I met you in ruin, in madness, in despair—
perhaps then, we would have understood each other.
Had I found you when I was no longer trying to be good,
when I had nothing left to lose,
perhaps then, I could have loved you without fear.

But fate is cruel. It gives too soon or too late,
never when the soul is ready.
I met you when I still believed in hope,
when I still cared for the weight of consequence.
And so, I hesitated. I reasoned. I turned away.

Had I met you in the wreckage of myself,
I would not have thought of tomorrow.
I would not have measured my words,
held back my touch, silenced my longing.
I would have taken you—wholly, recklessly, without restraint.

But I met you at the right time,
when I still feared the cost of love.
And so, I lost you.