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Mark Oct 2019
Flower bloom, Summer's end.
The past looms, no wounds mend.
Vicinal tomb. Please pretend
All is well, everything' fine,
And there is enough
Time is a flat circle,
Not a straight line...
Seasonal shift. Darkness find.
Self-cannibalistic, sequestered mind.
Life and death, nature's rhyme.
Final breath; peace from mind.
I fking hate you.
You always make me see the negatives.
The half empty glass.
You bring me down when I'm in a good place.
You make me procasinate.
Festering on my fat a
.

You get inside my head.
Yet again, thats where you live.
Thats where you were born.
You left me once.
And I felt unstoppable.
I was better, I could have sworn.

Then you came back.
To show you never really left.
To try and take control again.
You make me feel so worthless.
You make me feel unloved.
You give me this excruciating, silent pain.

You will not defeat me.
I ignore the thoughts of death.
I will not do that to me.
I will not do that to my loved ones.
I will defeat you.
I will promise you. You'll see.
The moment she says,
"Me too,"
The air evaporates from my chest.
My shoulders slump.
The weariness eases.
Sometimes connection
Is the best medicine.
I tell her she's found a friend in me.
Aseel Oct 2019
I don’t care anymore
To the extent I can jump
Of a skyscraper
Without even looking down
Just set me free
Curly Steve Oct 2019
I mostly keep it to my self
Behind the corn flakes, on the shelf
For me It's all about the stealth
The issue of my mental health

Apparently, it's always been
Around my head and in between
But why would I share it with you Irene
Is mine, its for me... Its not your scene

It's only me that struggles and suffers
Hiding my head right under the covers
Doubting myself and scaring off lovers
It's only me, none of the others

Because of that I hide it away
Behind closed doors so they would say
I wish the whole lot would just go away
Then I could continue with my day

But hang on, of course I can make it leave
By wearing my feelings on my sleeve
By shouting about it from the eaves
All I need to do is believe

I could write some poems or even a book
And encourage people to take a good look
I could ask them to hang it on the library hook
Right out the front, Not in the nook

I'll post it on Facebook and all social media
Jesus, it's Depression, not schizophrenia

I'll start next week. That's a good plan
I'll be right in a month. I know that I can
Depression, anxiety I will ban
Then I shall be a bigger man

I mostly keep it to my self
Behind the corn flakes, on the shelf
For me It's all about the stealth
It's the issue of my mental health
Sometimes,
I see the image of you in your white night gown,
Back at rigid attention as you binge watched
The same TV show for the second time that week,
So little life in you despite your posture.
I'm reminded of that terrible nagging feeling
That I really should turn around and walk back in,
Say something new and better,
Hug you tighter,
But I am late to the airport,
So I don't.
A month and a half later,
You were gone.
How I really wish
I'd missed my plane that day.
Have you ever met someone who won gold in The Suffering Olympics?

The one-uppers.

She's the woman at work who always has it worse than everyone else, and he's the uncle with a blasé attitude, a balding head and a belly full of baby pork...or maybe they're your friend, a parent, your loving wife or hardworking husband.

Don't you feel just as bad as they do?

Are you sick...enough?

Even pain is a contest that you can't win and you're sick of that, too.

It hurts, but not that much. It could always be worse.

But worse would be death and even then, they'd say they died twice that week.

The only thing you're winning is a silver medal in the race, and now you understand that one second is the difference between winning and losing.

Why are you happy? There will always be someone happier.

Stronger, prettier, wealthier.

How can you enjoy existence when comparisons are the only way to add contrast to your world, that make you feel like you're actually achieving something?

This isn't a sport.

You are not a number on a screen.

You are not an athlete with a bib tattooed on their chest.

There are no awards in this game, honey, there's only you.

And you're enough.
Silver Oct 2019
I keep rubbing my hands for heat
Trying to warm you but not melt you-
To hold you in any state I can
You're consistent as water
Obsession is an addiction that preys on the desperately distracted
A sure sign that I'm not healed
Scarlet M Oct 2019
a ridiculed soul deemed
worthless
trapped by society's
undefeated cruelty
vile memory repressed
still lingers in his throat
the tittering grows
louder
as his laughter echoes
uncontrollably, resentful
and frightened
desiring only but one
semblance of normality
but humanity has
crumbled
how could this world
be so ruthless to someone
who they have denied
to Youー
a man born from chaos
Death is not pretty.
Death is not brave,
Death is not freedom
Or grace
Or clarity
Or glorious.
Death is lonely,
Undignified,  
And vastly disappointing.
I do not recommend you try it.
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